I been having problems with my wife and the divorce theme is constant in my head i need some advise, please?

Question

sorry to say but she is a high mantinence wife i have 2 jobs and it dosn't seem enough for her and to make this worse we have trouble to get her pregnant now she looks at me as a sperm donator and thats it.

Answer 1

I've been there and done that. She has no respect for you. It will only get worse. It will get to the point where you cannot provide what she wants. Then she will find someone who can. Get out now. Do not have children.

Answer 2

Hmm. Your wife has issues. Sorry, but doesn't everyone? Really, you won't be happy with anyone all the time. There's no one you will get along with 24/7. If her spending money is a problem, make your budget. Give her a certain amount every week for clothes or lunches with friends. I'm sorry you are having trouble having a baby. That situation alone is stressful. I think your wife does not appreciate all you do for her. My guess is she is young, so you just have to put your foot down about some things. I think for you to want her to have your baby, you love her, and you should keep at it. Take her somewhere this weekend. Have some fun together.

Answer 3

I noticed how many times you mentioned the word "love" in your question (none). You need counseling first. Divorce may be in the picture, but if there is, in fact, love between the two of you, then counseling can help a great deal. If there isn't counseling has nothing to build on, and will fail.

To continue the way you are going, you'll wear yourself out, which will leave you more vulnerable to all the crap that goes around this time of year. Does your wife have a job? You already have two and it's her turn. That's my take on it, but try counseling. If she won't go, you can go alone and they'll help you cope with it, but if she isn't willing to put forth any effort in this thing, I'd call a moratorium on trying to get her pregnant. If you wind up having to travel to Splitsville, a child will really make things hard.

Answer 4

SERIOUS ADVICE:

1. Stop having sex with her.
2. Work a lot and keep "Hard Cash" stashed away in some hole or cave or maybe under some tree.
3. Quit all your jobs.
4. Divorce the woman (a parasite).
5. Ask her to pay you alimony.
6. Get rid of her for good.
7. Get a new job.
8. Get a decent wife.
9. Have a real family.

Answer 5

Do you have a budget? Are you both aware of the budget and are you sticking to it? There's nothing wrong with having two jobs if you are using one job to seriously save money. There are so many long term things to save for - retirement, the future, emergency funds, etc. So think carefully about your budget.
If she is having trouble getting pregnant, she's not just looking at you as a sperm donor. She's also doubting whether her own body is in good enough health to have a baby. So she's feeling insecure and worried - it doesn't have to do only with your.
Maybe divorce is a constant theme in your head because you are experiencing some major stresses in your marriage. The true tests of marriage are these stresses and how you learn to relax and help each other, talking things out. There are going to be a lot of times in a lifetime of marriage when things get tense and you feel stressed for various reasons. Just learn to talk out your feelings and be a good listener.

Answer 6

Does your wife work??

The thing is, marriage is a two way street.. and it sounds like with her, it's all one way.. HER way.

That's really unfair to you, which obviously you know since the Divorce Theme is Constantly in your Head.. as you say.

Before you consider divorce.. you need to give your marriage one last chance..

and to start with .. you need to have a quiet and serious talk with your wife.

Tell her how you feel, and let her know (gently) that divorce has crossed your mind a couple times.. and not because you don't love her anymore.. but because of the finacial stress, and the sperm donator issue.

Let her know that right now... it's not the right time for a baby, until you two get your marriage right, and get things finacially stable.. meaning budgets, and to live by.. possibly even an allowance for your wife if she's not working.

Then let her know that you want to see a marriage counselor, and you want to talk to a finace counselor.. here's why..

The marriage counselor, is to help your marriage obviously.. but a marriage couselor will act as a mediator between you and your wife so you discuss issues in your marriage fairly and will help you find ways to work things out. You can possibly find a marriage counselor through your church for little or no cost.. but even if you have to pay for it.. it will be worth it in the long run.

The finacial counselor is to help you both determine.. your income and how much is being spent, and what it's being spent on. For example.. they'll have you list all your bills, but also things like if she gets her nails done a couple times a month.. or her hair done a couple times a month etc.. anyway.. it's a way for her to see that she's over spending.. and it'll be the finacial counselor opening her eyes to that.

As for her working or not.. if you find you can live on one income then that's great.. but if you have to work 2 jobs.. then I'm going to say.. a) she's spending way too much.. or b) you're living way outside your income..

but the long and short of it is this.. if she isn't working, then she needs to get a job.

But while she is working, then consider finding a way to live on one income.. (from you,doing only 1 job).. so when the time comes that you do have children.. then if she stops working to be a homemaker and mother.. then you'll still be finacially okay.

The reality is.. you two aren't ready for a baby yet.. at this point.. if you tried to stay with your wife and had a baby.. you'd have to get a 3rd job to pay for all the baby stuff.. and ultimately will end up in a divorce anyway.. and you'll probably be stuck furnishing that bill too.. as well as alimony and child support payments..

Save yourself that hassle.. and hold off on the baby right now.

See a marriage counselor. See a finacial counselor.. (many of them you can see those non profit credit counseling places and they can work with you on that for no charge.) and then see where your marriage stands.

But don't give up on it. There is nothing worse, than just deciding that a divorce is the answer, with out even telling her what the problem is and giving her and you a chance to work things out.

Too many people now days just give up on their marriages.. try to make yours work. Talk to your wife,and give her that chance........ if she loves you.. she'll want to try to change..

Finally remember.. that when there are problems in a marriage, it is NEVER just one person's fault. Sometimes the other person is just as easily to blame .. for example.. I could say that you've acted as an enabler to her high maintenance behavior by having a second job. That there is a problem that you've brought to the marriage.. that's like offering a drink to an alcholic. Know what I mean??

So anyway.. just don't think that you're the victim and 100% right.. in marriage.. when there is a problem or a success.. it's never 100% either party. It takes two. Remember that.

And remember it takes time to change.. (reasonable time to change).. and there needs to be forgiveness..

but it is still very possible to save your marriage. Your wife probably has no clue as to how you feel.

So start simple.. talk to her.

I wish you the best.

Answer 7

Divorce is not the best or first solution.learn that problems will always come in marriage,however what is important is how you solve those problems.You need to sit down with your wife and talk,if you fail to settle the problem seek advice from eldely married couples,go to marriage councillors,and the church will also help.Getting your wife pregnant must be determined by medical expects,maybe one of you has a problem,thus it wise to seek medical attension.God bless you

Answer 8

You are the husband here and the head of your household, right? Did you know she was high maintenance when you married her, and did you think it would get better. HaHa
Sounds like you both are going to have some help with this, if she gets pregnant, I can see you being the babysitter when she wants to go out. Before any baby came into this picture, I'd work on this marriage. Seriously!

Answer 9

Either you have developed the habit of her for spending spree and now you are finding difficulty, or her parents house are very much well to do than your family./
Just sit with her and try to explain the problems you are facing and if not seek some help by taking her to a psycatrist.
still nothing works out then just walk off

Answer 10

Stop working 2 jobs and stop trying to have a baby when you're having relationship issues...unless you want to speed up the divorce process and get 3 jobs.

Besides, I think if you look again...I think you answered your own question.

Answer 11

How long has 'one' been married? One needs to communicate along with his spouse. each each now and then women human beings (and adult adult males, too) anticipate us to 'study their minds' while we've been married for awhile. it could or won't be a controversy of disrespect. carry the placement to a head and ASK HER. If one waits for the placement to sparkling itself up by potential of itself, one would be very previous earlier it ever does (it in any respect...).