Hi all I am prity here. I am having one huge problem that is taking up all warmness and color out of my life.
I am divorcee from my husband because due to emotional blackmails from his family side, it was very much bad so in those days I came to know one lady friend who also divorcee, she got thru her problem and that with two kids so she initially reached out to me giving support and phone calls and all when I was suicidal and in misery.So we become fast friends and at some point I feel she is saving my life. She has got married and that with two kids from previous marriage so I felt some hopes for myself.
These days I am spending lot of time in her house, and I slowly slowly came to see what a great guy her husband is. He is very emotional with her and attached, loving guy that I haven't seen in long time, and brave coz he fought with his parents to marry her even tho she is divorcee, and very much emotionally attached wtih her kids like they are his own. They only been togehter some two years. Now I am looking at him in whole new light to see, what kind of great guy does all these? And they had only one child together so he is supporting four people and buying his wife expensive gift like ipod, HP notebook, new cell phone, ect. Treating her so good! It's making me want him and althogh initially he was not attractive to me but now I find him irrisistable.
She calls me over for dinner and lot of things I notice- 1. she cannot keep totally clean house as she suffers from some illness related to her pregnancy 2. she is very much overweight and fat - yet he still seems to show much affectionated for her. I don't know why.
I know I am hiding this feeling in my heart but I cannot resist much longer. I don't want to get hurt in any way. Sometimes I think, if he is such a good guy he can accept this lady and her kids then he can surely accept me and I with no kids even! And I keep such clean house and have great figure too. So maybe deep deep in his mind he is ready to go for better relationship, ie with me. I lay awake at nights thinking on this, that how can I approach him, what should I say? I am sure if he compares me with his wife he will find me much better and more suitable. All the color is come out of my life since I got to know what a great guy he is. Now I feel direct need to approach him and show him how I feel. Can I please get some advice, how to fix this problem? What can I say to him, I don't want to look bad but I must step up as his wife is very much overweight and I am sure we are much better match than that. What words can I use?
2007-11-15 17:47:50 · 19 answers · asked by Krazinski 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he were the type of guy to drop his PREGNANT WIFE who is YOUR BEST FRIEND, for you then he wouldn't be much of a man, and YOU ARE NOT A GOOD FRIEND.
This woman who's life you want to wreak had held your hand through what you've said was the lowest point in your life. She stayed a good friend when everything settled down. She invites you into her home. You will get very BAD KARMA if you even try to take her husband.
You don't deserve him, and you don't deserve her as a friend. Bow out of their lives, and work on making yours more moral.
2007-11-15 18:05:29 · answer #1 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are so shallow! How dare attack the one person that was there for you. What ever, they have you will never get. He loves her for all the Roth reasons. You feel that since you may keep a cleaner house, and you might be slimmer you are the better catch. NOT! He loves her, for who she is and if he is not complaining to you, what difference should it make. Your place in her life is more for your benefit than hers. He will never leave his family for hollow person such as yourself. This woman came Thur for you in the hard times and now you refer to her as being FAT. Get a life, find something else to do. I wish I knew who the other woman was, I would call her and tell her to keep a tramp like you out of her home.
2007-11-15 18:04:02 · answer #2 · answered by lekeshia s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are other men out there, but you are not looking because you are fantasizing about someone that is already taken. If this woman kept you from suicide, how can you even think about her husband. Make excuses not to go over there and go somewhere to find your own man. Date a few of them and compare. If this man were to leave his wife because of all the things you listed, what would happened if you had a child and got fat. If he would leave his wife for you, then he would leave you for someone else. Be a woman of morals and leave your friends husband alone.
2007-11-15 18:26:13 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your not thieving scank then you need to walk away and dissolve your friendship with this couple and leave your friends hubby alone. I cant believe your even asking this question ,cuz in yur heart you know what the right thing to do is ,sounds like your trying to justify you cheating .i think your just horny and yearning for attension so go to a bar or restaurant order a drink and yull get plenty of attension or just go purchase adult toys for your self or both. but really who the hell do you think you are even considering your self a better person because your not my god shes having a difficult pregnancy and your a flippn vulture or the grim reaper take your pick ,and women like you are the reason that married women have insecurity's . what a lovely person you are NOT
2007-11-15 20:24:19 · answer #4 · answered by cindybells 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not in love with this persons husband, but in love with their life. If you think that you can recreate their life with him and have him treat you this way well you're wrong. He does this for her because he loves and adores her. You need to find yourself someone who will treat you this way not take someone else's husband.
A true friend is empathetic towards the other persons feelings; happy when their happy, sad when their sad. Furthermore, a true friend would not wish or cause any problems to the other person.
She helped you during one of your toughest times, invites you over to her house and all you can go on about is taking her husband from her, her untidy house and how she's fat.
To find yourself someone as equally great as her husband, some self improvement is required on your behalf.
2007-11-15 18:13:06 · answer #5 · answered by Tracey H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not in love with him, you are in love with the idea of a lie like your friend has. It is called envy. She is your friend, she helped you through a tough time - you are not going to hurt her by making a pass at her husband. This is your fantasy, but do not act on it.
As for you being better looking than her - or her housekeeping skills, does that matter? Really. She is your friend...you should not be judging her in any way.
Please get over this idea. You will end up hurt as you will lose your friend and you will be humiliated when he rejects you. He obviously loves her.
After and abusive marriage, it is natural for you to want happiness you see she has. But you will not get that by going after another woman's husband. This will not end with the romantic happy ending you think will happen.
2007-11-15 18:03:05 · answer #6 · answered by twinkles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will not avoid pain in this situation. If you continue in what you are suggesting, you not only will not have a friendship with your best friends husband, you will neither have your best friend. You will find yourself back in that state of being depressed and suicidal.
To make it plain, you are taking the person that helped you out of a desperate situation and in effect you are "stabbing her in the back. What will you do next time you make a major "screw up", and the only person willing to help you is no longer there, because you've openly and willingly sabotaged your friendship. I hope you can see that before you destroy you sanity again.
2007-11-15 18:15:07 · answer #7 · answered by stedyedy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
clearly her husband finds an attraction to her beneath the skin. she seems like a wonderful and strong woman, and i'm sure her husband sees that.
you need to get out of there. this woman offered you help in your time of need, and now you're encroaching on her husband?!!? that's absolutely terrible!
it's clear they deeply love each other, and i don't think it would go over well if you pointed out this woman's flaws to her husband. i think that would just upset him, and you could lose the friendship of both this woman and her husband.
let the husband make his own choices about which woman he wants to be with. right now he seems to be really in love with this woman, and if he ever changes his mind- good for you! if not (which is probably most likely), so what?
there are other fish in the sea. this one appears to be caught, so get out there and find a better one who's a lot more single.
2007-11-15 17:56:21 · answer #8 · answered by sarah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grow up, stop playing games. You had a date and played cop-a-feel then you told him oh whoops I really still love my ex. So like a nice guy or a nice, hurt guy he leaves you alone and realizes there's no point going where he's not wanted. Then you tell him you love him. You love the ex, you love this guy. Make up your mind. You have no right to be angry, but the two guys sure do.
2016-05-23 09:05:45 · answer #9 · answered by eneida 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You R not a very good friend...
She helped you when you wanted...
To kill yourself...
Don't you think that maybe you owe her a little more....
Your jealous....
He's not thinkin of you in the same way!
You really should think twice before ,
you make a fool outta yourself.
& Lose a good friend...
N yes hun, it is jealousy....
You all puttin her down...
Ever think that since he such a wonderful man...
That maybe he really do love her fat non keepin house with kid's!
2007-11-15 18:45:49 · answer #10 · answered by Jus Me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋