why do guys keep flirting with my wife on yahoo chat?

Question

my wife goes onto a website called worlds biggest chat on yahoo to make new friends to talk to.. . i use this site too, for the same reason.
Every time she goes on there, lots of guys flirt with her and ask her to meet up for sex n other things. . even though they read her profile and know she is married.
some of them have even offered so much that she has agreed to their requests but up until now, she has never met any of them to carry this out.
the problem is that my wife is and always has been easily lead.
i dont want to stop her from using this site because she only wants to make new friends but i'm not sure what to actually do about this.
when i confront her about agreeing to some of these guys demands, she says she was only winding them up because they shouldnt be asking her for that but i'm not so sure because she has had affairs before.
i love my wife and dont want to lose her. . any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

First of all, you should stop reading her chat logs or whatever it is you are reading to KNOW she is doing this. People do this to eachother all the time on line. If your wife is inclined to meet one of these people, she would have by now. She's just busting them off on them. It's anonymous and harmless unless there is an actual meeting. If you love and trust your wife, you shouldnt be accusing her and you should believe what she tells you unless there is some hard evidence not to.

A sure fire way to lose someone is to give them the impression that you are spying on them and dont trust them. Do yourself a favor and let her play around online. Because if you push her on the subject, she will decide to play around off line.

Answer 2

Dude - sounds like you are pretty clueless. You are probably a nice guy (the reason she married you) while at the same time an insecure guy (the reason she cheats on you). Take a good hard look inside yourself and you might begin to see where the problem lies. No woman likes a man (for very long, anyway) that is not confident and secure with himself. If you were confident, she probably would not have cheated on you. And if she did anyway, you would have left her a$$ for someone who respects you. There are plenty of decent women out there that would never cheat on someone. You may love her, but love in a healthy marriage is a two-way street. I doubt this chatting is all just innocent fun, and you have to let her know that her track record doesn't help very much for you to believe that. You say you don't want to lose her. It sounds like you've already lost her. You can't force someone to love you. And if you are completely secure as a person, how can you love someone that has had not one affair, but MULTIPLE affairS. What does this say about her respect for you? I would have left her the second I found about the first affair. Get yourself a good shrink, figure out what's going on inside your own head, get some huevos, and then give your wife an ultimatum that anything she does that insomuch as resembles a flirt with another guy will result in the possibility of divorce. My other advice for you is: if you are so insecure, and can't get over that, then live this sort of life where your wife doesn't respect you so much that she will cheat on you in front of your very eyes.

Answer 3

Well buddy, You heard it from all these women. She has had affairs before and you don't think she will take any of these guys up on it? Just wait until some guy that lives close enough to her offers her enough. First....she has no respect fo you. Probably because you have let her get away with so much. If you love her than take her to marriage counseling. Don't take no for an answer. Set up an appointment and tell her to be there. If she says no.....there is your answer. It's time to stop acting like a wimp. I use to be a nice guy too. I learned my lesson.

Answer 4

I have strong feelings on things like this. If your wife isn't able to say no then she should stop using that site out of respect for you. If I were in her shoes I'd say no but at some point if they don't go away she needs to make the choice to stay off the site or to keep saying no. Giving in and saying yes looks disrespectful and tacky on her part. I don't know your wife she may be a great woman. So you need to talk to her tell her how you feel, don't tell her what to do but let her know what you would like. Just remember to not sound bossy or controlling just sound suggestive let her know you feel this way. Men and women alike are pigs and don't have respect for other peoples relationships its why these men keep hitting on your wife it's up to you and your wife to agree to terms that make it ok for you both to handle these situations

Answer 5

So, she has had affairs before? Do you ever wonder how long it will be before she has her next one?

She's fishing. She plays with the idea of catching something. Let's hope that whatever she catches, she doesn't give it to you.

If she's getting inappropriate attention that a housewife should not get from other men, she's giving out signals that, though they may not invite an approach, they do nothing to discourage them.

In my book, not setting boundries is the same as fishing. She is looking for and thriving on the attention she is getting.

She may be fooling herself about not meeting any of them if the chance came up but, she's not fooling me.

Best Wishes

.

Answer 6

Your wife is purposely going on websites where men can flirt with her, she's agreeing to their requests, she's had affairs before......
if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, looks like a duck....IT'S A DUCK!

Your initial question blames the guys for flirting with her - IT'S NOT THEM - IT'S HER! She's being unfaithful to you in spirit by what she's doing on the websites - you can't keep "getting rid of flirting guys" there will always be another one - it's your wife who is unfaithful and untrustworthy. Either accept that you're married to someone who can't be trusted or better yet, get divorced and find someone who loves you in return. Why do you love someone who cheats on you? She's a cheater. You deserve better.

Answer 7

If she is using a feminine screen-name or announcing that she is female, the carnivores will pick up on her scent and hunt her in packs. That's what goes on in chat rooms, regardless of what the chat room topic is.
Your wife is probably flirting for the thrill. Perhaps it's just a guilty pleasure in her life, or perhaps there's something in her life she's not satisfied with. I would recommend talking to a marriage therapist.

Answer 8

You can't blame any of your wife's actions on other men. They will ask for anything. It is up to your wife to say no to their suggestions. Tell her that her actions are disrespectful to you, and ask her how she would feel if you did the same to her. If she does not realize how wrong she is, then I hate to be blunt, but she has no moral character.
There is nothing that you can do to stop someone if they have no conscience. I sure hope that she is worth all of the worry.

Answer 9

i just don't understand why either of you are using this chat site. you've said it's "only to make new friends", but you realize that's not what's happening. sounds like you're both trolling for something on the side..only she's having better "luck" because men can be more aggressive sometimes.
why not try doing other activities (in "real life") that bring you two together and where you can make real new friends?
chat is solitary, in a way, it's isolating..it doesn't bring you together and rarely makes real, lasting friendships. why threaten your marriage like that?
that's my advice.

Answer 10

you could lose her if this keeps up... you guys might need to just get rid of the computer if you and or her cant stop doing that.. if she wants to make friends there is a great game site i play on everyday.. i have even met many of them all around the usa.. women or husbands and wifes.. we all play on this site and we get together as a group even sometimes.. try that for making new friends. its free games there as well as others.. alway you can win money if you get the jackpot spin for money.. you can turn your tokens in for daily, weekly, and monthly drawings also free. it has lots of fun games.. i am a club member and have been for 8 yrs. good luck