After 17 years of marriage, he cheated with a woman he works with. Have been separated for 1 1/2 years now. They have been seeing each other off and on ever since. He says they are now "only friends." Wants to make his marriage work - get back together. My ultimatum - quit your job - find another. Won't get back together with you while you are working with her. He says no, too much time invested, seniority, etc. He's learned his lesson and won't let it happen again. Before all of this happened, I trusted him implicitely. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Poll - Do I go back or not? Yes or No desired. Elaborations welcome.
2007-11-15 16:44:26 · 18 answers · asked by Phyllobates 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
stick to your guns, the job change is very important, becuase if he stays you will always have doubts, and you will never be able to move foward
2007-11-15 21:14:12 · answer #1 · answered by cheesehead with an attitude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a very hard thing to regain. You need to really look into your heart and see what you really want to do.Even if he keeps the job, he could be telling the truth now. If he really expresses the desire to get back together, maybe you should do some couples counseling. There are people whose marriages have survived an affair on one person's part. I just know it is very hard to trust after being wronged. Good Luck, you do have a lot of years invested. I can't give you a yes or a no, you have to make that choice yourself.
2007-11-16 00:52:54 · answer #2 · answered by plaplant8 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No ~ I hate to say it...but once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater.
He may say he's changed his ways but he's now notice what signs you've notice & now knows how to not get caught. I'm not saying he will or still is. but that's what I've always been told about cheaters.
2007-11-16 01:00:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that would be really hard to put up with. the work situation. i don't think i could trust him again. its not like it was a one time thing. if he left the job, i'd think about it. if he won't leave that job, you'll be miserable. i'd stay separated for a while.
2007-11-16 00:55:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fu*k no, do it and I'll rape your dog. No, kidding. Umm... depends. Do you love him unconditionally? If yes, give him another chance. It's not fair to make up your mind without hearing his side of the story, I guess. But since he won't give up his job for those bs reasons, I say dump him. JMO, of course.
2007-11-16 00:52:36 · answer #5 · answered by heather s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not go back to a man who cheated!!! You never know when will be the next time he will cheat on you.
2007-11-16 00:53:21 · answer #6 · answered by ranjana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. Don't waste your time, go find someone else and be happy. Once a cheater always a cheater!!
2007-11-16 00:48:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
my grandma cheated on my grandpa 3 times, and my grandpa cheated on her once, and they're still together, and they love each other very much
my mom cheated on my dad and they are still together and they love each other very much
i think you guys should get back together and give it another try, im 100% sure he still loves you very much.
2007-11-16 00:56:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
17 years of marriage. why waste?
people do change sometimes.
2007-11-16 00:52:51 · answer #9 · answered by jeff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no, think of it this way....if hes late coming home from work, what are you always gonna think ? during the day you are gonna wonder if hes with her and what they might be doing on their lunch hour....do you really wanna torture yourself with all the "what ifs"
2007-11-16 00:52:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋