He was a great man and gave me everything I ever wanted, but no sex. I cheated and was terribly mean to him. Two years have gone by and I cannot live without him. I never stopped loving him, I just needed sex. He ignores my attempts to get back with him and has told me straight to my face he does not love me anymore. I still wait and wish he will give me another chance. I have been the only woman he has ever loved. Will he give me a chance? Should I force myself to move on? Should I keep trying? Better tried than failed, but for how long?
2007-11-15 16:12:34 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry but time to move on, close that chapter and start a new one don't waste your time. He's already told you he didn't love you, he wouldn't trust you anyway if you cheated on him, even if you were told that you were the only one he'd ever love that's gone now that you've divorced (probably was said when you were still married).......move on..........
2007-11-15 16:23:15 · answer #1 · answered by Greeneyes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You never know what might happen. I don't know the reason why ya'll weren't having sex, but there was a 6 year spread in my marriage that my husband and I had sex hardly ever. Well, come to find out it was because of his drinking. I didn't even realize he was drinking as much as he was until he ended up in the hospital last year at the age of 35 and his liver was failing!! The doctor told him quit drinking or your going to die. He quit, and within 2 weeks the sex was on!! He has been sober for over a year now and we are still going strong with the sex. One thing you have to look at is if you did get back with him...would there still be no sex? Because that was important to you, and I'm sure the time that you were married to him you expressed how important it was to you, and for whatever reason he didn't provide that for you. You need someone that is going to be able to satisfy you completely...not just half way. Maybe your just feeling lonely right now because you can find the sex, but not the relationship and closeness your wanting that go with it. You already know that he can't give you everything you need, so I suggest you keep trying elsewhere. I know you probably still think you love him, but sometimes we feel that way when we can't have things. You can't have him, so of course you want him more and your willing to do anything to have him, but please, believe me...once you get him and you have been with him for a few months, that challenge is over and it is right back to the same old routine of him not fulfilling your needs and you seeking someone else.
2007-11-16 00:25:17 · answer #2 · answered by Corona 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were able to fool yourself into thinking you loved him in the first place. The results where a marriage that didn't work.
You were able to fool yourself into believing that cheating was and answer and that it would make you happier. The results are ? Are you happy?
You believed that being mean would wake him up to your needs. And the results were "HATE"
You were able to fool yourself into believing that a divorce would solve your problems. The results are that you are lonely and sad about your decisions.
You now wish to fool yourself that ( you were happy ) before your marriage went south because of real problems in the needs department. The results can be
1) a return to the known, and a dose of reality. Jumping back into the fire and find your life back into dysfunction.
2) Now that he has stated that he does not love you, believe he is lying and all will be better? Not.
3) You will convince yourself that being starved for affection is OK and loose your mind.
4) You end up taking a lot of drugs or booze to make it through the day
Here is an alternative:
Find someone that you can Enjoy, Respect, Cherish, Be With, Love, and leave the old Goat and his dysfunction alone.
I for one if put in this position would choose to take another path because the one you are on definatly has not taken you to the place you would ever wish to be. Try something new.
Enjoy your life, Word is that we only have ONE.
2007-11-16 00:40:55 · answer #3 · answered by noyoungun 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there Travelscout,
It is so awful when a marriage does not work and ends in divorce isn't it?
But I do feel that you need to get things into perspective. It has been two years since your divorce, and you have got on with your life. I understand that you just needed sex, however, this was a part of your marriage that was lacking.....you know deep down that you could not have spent the rest of your life in that situation. You say that you never stopped loving him, and that is probably true; but you could never define your love for him as a marriage kind of love. You obviously were not compatible. You need to find a man that can give you the love that you need. What is happening now is that you are looking at your previous marriage through 'rose coloured glasses'. You are romanticising! We regard alot of our past as the good old days because we tend to forget or 'blur' the bad times. Put this failed marriage down to experience and move on honey! It is doing you no good hankering on about what could have been. Look to the future, you are the maker of your destiny....get out there and find someone more compatible.....onwards and upwards eh?
I wish you all the best!!!! :o)
2007-11-16 00:31:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
If he loved you then why did he not want to have sex with you? I don't understand. That is one way married people express their love to one another. If my husband didn't want to have sex with me I would think he was cheating on me. If you never had sex then the marrriage was never consummated. Did he ever see a marriage counsellor about this problem?. Because it is not a normal thing not wanting to have sex. Maybe he should go see a doctor too and be checked out. He may have a low testerone level. And there are medicines for those problems. I would talk to him again and tell him how it made you feel when he didn't want to have sex with you. It made you feel like he didn't desire you as a woman and love you. Explain that you did not intend to cheat on him. And explain why you did it. Then if he doesn't change his mind there is nothing you can do but to move on with your life. And try to find another man that will love you and show you in all the ways a man and wife are supposed to do.
2007-11-16 00:28:14 · answer #5 · answered by CB Luves Her Chihuahuas 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give up. And give up now. He has already told you point blank to your face he doesn't love you anymore. You need to stop hurting yourself by having false hope that something you say or do will make him come back. Sorry to say this, but you created what is now happening. You can't blame the guy for not wanting you back. Force yourself to move on and take this divorce as a great big learning experience. Yes it's the hard way to learn but it is what it is. So stop hurting yourself. You did make a mistake and you seem to really be sorry, but you need to move on and close this chapter in your life. Time to turn the page.
Good luck to you. **You will only hurt yourself more by not allowing yourself to let go.
2007-11-16 00:26:21 · answer #6 · answered by grneyedgrly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its been 2 years, and after what happened between you, I think there is nothing left for you there. Unfortunately, infidelity is something no one forgets easily, not even you, if you were the cheated on.
You need to move on with your life. You need to make a new start and make sure the same mistakes are not made in your next relationship. Remember your ex with love, but dont obsess with it.
I wish you all the luck!!!
2007-11-16 06:42:59 · answer #7 · answered by Sesoid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all this man gave you everything out of love to you but sex was what you wanted and he was short in this department . You cheated on him and broke his heart and if you were his first love and you hurt him badly. Now that you are divorce you realize that you love him in the first place his love for you should have kept you home but you decided to find love else were it wasn't love that you found just lust.
If he has gotten you ought of his system than i say great for him because if i was him i wouldnt take you back either.
It's time for you to move on he doesnt want you.
best of luck
2007-11-16 00:24:49 · answer #8 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move on. You betrayed him, and there is no way to get what you had back. Even if he thought he fell back in love you with, he will never trust you again. Without trust you have nothing, so... You made the bed... Slept in it actually... Woke up to the realities of what you had done, and now it is time to make your bed all over again. Hope you did a better job this time because here's your pillow.
2007-11-16 00:16:46 · answer #9 · answered by Haveitlookedat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
MOVE ON. Clearly he has moved on. Just make sure you learn from this experience to make sure that you DO NOT , do the same thing to another man who loves you.Best thing to do is ask him what was wrong in your relationship except for the cheating.
2007-11-16 04:51:23 · answer #10 · answered by namuk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋