...and you find out another way. You show up to the funeral and EVERY single one of your "friends" are there, including ppl that haven't seen or spoken to the person that passed away. Would you forgive them? Would you be ok with that or would you be completely offended?
2007-11-15 16:06:31 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
FYI - this happened around a year ago and i haven't talked to any of them since. And my question is on they way ppl treat you, not focusing on the actual death of my friend
2007-11-15 16:19:44 · update #1
there are ways to bring that up with them humourously but understand that in most cases, people don't know WHAT to do when someone dies. It's most likely that the parents just called the closest friends and everything got by through word of mouth. BUt really, don't dwell on it. You've all suffered a loss, and this funeral isn't about who was a better friend. Pay your respects and leave your resentments at the door. There is a time and a place for your emotions and this just isn't it. If you still feel like you need to bring it up later, bring it up casually. Like, "So how did everyone else find out about this?" That way you can get their side of the story before accusing them with your assumptions. It could all just be a simple misunderstanding. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm really so sorry that your friend did this. Someone should have told him or her that there were better options.
So you've also been dwelling on it for over a year. Sounds like it really bothered you. But if you haven't talked to these people why does it still concern you? People freeze up when someone dies. Suddenly everyone is extremely introverted, concerned with what they're doing right and wrond in their lives. Though they tell people they don't always remember to. Maybe it just happened to be a set of bad circumstances that dissallowed you to find out directly from them. It's rude, but it's understandable given the circumstances. It just happens. I've been to a lot of funerals to know. People can't really talk about any of it until they're all conglomerated in one room with the body of the person who died. And even then they try to avoid the subject and talk about something else. It's just how we cope with death....as in we'd rather not.
2007-11-15 16:15:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens. When people are traumatized by a loss, sometimes they just don't think about telling others. It's not really an appropriate thing to gossip about, anyway. Maybe, if you were a really important part of this person's life, everyone just assumed that someone else had told you. It could also be that they thought you weren't close to the deceased. From an outsider's perspective, the fact that you're more upset with the fact that nobody told you than the loss of a friend itself could very easily support that conclusion. I'm sorry for your loss, but remember that right now isn't the time to be angry at your friends, but a time to support one another in your grief.
2007-11-16 00:15:50 · answer #2 · answered by Julia S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be a bit offended to say the least. Discuss why they didnt tell you with them, they may not have seen that it would hurt your feelings.
2007-11-16 00:10:47 · answer #3 · answered by kitty10185 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋