I've been with my present boyfriend for like 8 years and I have been trying to forget my ex boyfriend...my first love. We tried to run away together, when we were teenagers. Our parents moved us apart and lost touch. I've been trying to locate him all these years and he's been doing the same. He found me and I was so surprised and all my feelings came back to me! I'm in a relationship now and my present boyfriend and I have a 6 year old daughter together..I don't know what to do. All I think about is my ex boyfriend and I cry myself to sleep. I feel guilty when I look at my daughter and it won't be fair for her. My ex has never been married and single..My heart aches and confused...Please any suggestions would help. Thanks.
2007-11-15 15:50:01 · 11 answers · asked by Baby 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a hard one, but I guarantee at the end of it, you are going to make the right decision.
You and him had unfinished business, you were torn apart and now that you have found him again, all those feelings are crashing in.
But in reality, you have made a commitment to the man you are with now. You have a child to consider. are you going to throw away a family for an old flame that may work and it may not work. Reality is you haven't seen this man in years and you don't even know who he is anymore. Your emotions are coming from the past from your youth. You are gambling a lot on a maybe.
We all think of our first loves and wonder what if but there is a reason why every thing happens.
You know your circumstances, we don't you know if your relationship with your boyfriend is a good one that is stable and secure we don't. The butterflies leave after time and then you left with the every day. Will you regret it later? Is it really worth it to find out? will he be there waiting if things don't work out? You are gambling three lives on a feeling from the past. I sure wouldn't gamble with those stakes.
When it all comes down to it, it is your decision but just remember every decision we make effects every one involved. good or bad.
2007-11-15 16:10:03 · answer #1 · answered by angie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that life is too short to be unhappy. The two of you were forced apart. Who knows what could have been. If the two of you have been trying to find each other for years I think if I were you I would have to see what happens with him. Is it fair to your daughter for you to be unhappy and stay with a man that you do not want? Kids know when you are unhappy and they know when things are not right. Why have you not married the boyfriend? It is not fair to stay with the boyfriend if you do not want to be there. It is not fair for you or for him. Things might not be the same with the ex. You are different people than you were back then. Can you live forever without knowing what could have been and make yourself happy with your boyfriend? If not I would not stay. Weigh the consequences of your actions but do what will truly make you happy. Good luck.
2007-11-16 00:59:08 · answer #2 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes boredom or monotony can get you thinking about someone from your past. Understand that 8 years is a long time and a lot has happened - you don't really know your ex anymore and time plays this little trick on us and makes people look even better in our memories. You chose to build a life and have a family with your current boyfriend - you made that committment to your relationship with him. You need to block out all thoughts of your ex and try your best to work things out with your boyfriend. What you are considering doing is impulsive and wrong. It is also very unfair to your boyfriend and to you. Time to work with the choices you have made.
2007-11-16 00:38:35 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not fair to your current lover to be placed in a relationship where you have spent so much time trying to find an ex. If he meant that much to you, you never should have started a new relationship to begin with!
I honestly have no advice for you because I have no respect for what you're doing. You've set yourself up for failure in every way and now you're trying to figure out why you're not happy! I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be rude, but when people put themselves in these situations and then whine about them it irritates me. If you guys were really good together, you wouldn't have been running away together and doing stupid destructive things. You never should have had a child if you were in love with someone else. Your child deserves better than that!
2007-11-16 00:00:21 · answer #4 · answered by Been here before 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is the guy you are with only your boyfriend after so many years and a daughter? You might want to work on that, your ex is your ex for a reason, remember why you two split up. If you know your baby girl will hurt over this, then obviously your boyfriend now is a good Daddy, if he is also a good boyfriend please try and work it out with him.
2007-11-15 23:57:32 · answer #5 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you're stuck in this stupid situation because you had sex before marriage like seriously boyfriend can you imagen being 6 and saying daddy and mommy aren't married but i think they love eachother even though mommy is in love with her ex boyfriend... well my life is sucky but at least my mom is happy! i mean come on divorces suck, break-ups suck, and finding a new man sux, my padres did the same thing to me and i hated them for it my stepdad was nice at first but he's not my dad i hated having to say to all my friends yeah my mom and dad are divorced and i don't care for my stepdad too much but whatev' i think the choice you make right now not only affects your life but you present your ex and your daughters life forever but i would advise you think carefully anyway you go could hurt everyone including yourself and don't forget if the relationship that you are in now is safficating to you then its better to go with the ex if it makes you happy and him as well but remember whatever decision you make will affect your daughters life forever so choose wisely.
2007-11-16 00:01:38 · answer #6 · answered by jennifer j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you to forget him,but I know you can't, I've been there, I went with my heart, I was with him 6 months, it didn't,t work. We weren't kids any more. I had a home to come back to, and I thank God for that.
Please try to be happy with what you now have. Your life was not a mistake, things happen for a reason..
~God bless~
2007-11-16 00:05:33 · answer #7 · answered by luvspace 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i can tell that at that time you really love him alot but try to understand cos you havee all the good memories you hav with him.Some more it is the past.Think for your daughter and your bf.Look toward the future not the past.(What past is past let it go) Times will heal your heartaches. All the best to you
Ps: Go for it if your bf did't not treat you and your daugher good. :)
2007-11-15 23:59:05 · answer #8 · answered by AshBurg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
life bring's us "Test" and you are mixing your emotion's with thoughts you have to learn not to mix both or else is chao's.
"Do you ever have those dreams"what if..but you have to come back to your reality and deal with your truth in the end of the day.
To comprehend love from lust!! So-do you love the other or do you just seek what you can't find in your current partner?
Close your eyes and with your heart you shall choose what is right for your life.
-Lived n lost-
2007-11-15 23:56:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
go and talk with someone and let it all out there is some reason you r still thinking about him and if you feel this way it isnt fair for the man you r with now...
2007-11-16 01:43:37 · answer #10 · answered by Deb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋