I have been with my fiancee for almost 3 years, lived together 2. We have never had much of a sex life but for the past year he has just lost most of it. We use to have sex at least once a week, not Im lucky if its once a month. I dont know what to think anymore. He definately loves me, we had a rough patch and we became closer than ever, just not physically. He has never really been a sexual person but I mean he was so into kissing and holding my hand in public. Now I go to hold his hand and he pulls it away.
He says he's too tired and just wants to relax, but when he pushes me away from just wanting to kiss him it hurts ya know... I mean he cuddles and has his moments but just I don't know what to do anymore.. Any help?
2007-11-15 15:36:30 · 12 answers · asked by Courtney C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we are 23 and 24
2007-11-15 15:59:56 · update #1
Ya I thought about the breaking up but we had a rough patch and like I said we are closer than ever, just not in the physical sense. Everything else is there.. I just dont know anymore
2007-11-15 16:40:24 · update #2
He sounds very controlling and selfish - wants what he wants when HE wants it. The next time he pulls away, stop, look him in the eye and ask him (firmly, but in a calm manner) "WHY did you pull away from me? WHY is it wrong that I still want a physical relationship with you? Do I need to ask your permission from now on when I want to hold your hand?" And then stop and maintain eye contact until he gives you and answer. If he stays silent, don't be the one to break the silence - wait for him. Whatever you do, don't cry and don't get mad. Hopefully he'll see what a jerk he is being.
2007-11-15 16:47:08 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't take this the wrong way, but could he be discovering that he is Gay?
How old are you guys?
OK So you are 23 or 24... you are still really young. Even if you started dating someone new in like 6 months and dated for 2 years before getting married you would still be only 27 at worst. You could have 2 kids before your 30. Enjoy life now and do things now that you really want to do then get married and have kids. You will have lots and lots of time that you can't do these things while you are concentrating on your family.
I wouldn't worry to much if this is not the one. Maybe you could cut it off for a while and get some distance between you and see if you remain good friends.
2007-11-15 15:59:00 · answer #2 · answered by huntnikk2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only he can tell you what is TRULY going on. All I can tell you is that it's definitely NOT normal for a man to not want sex alot and to not be physical in his love at all. You have to be able to talk about and resolve such things NOW or your marriage won't have a whole lot of hope sweetie. I mean, if this is happening NOW....what do you think your sex life or marriage will be like in 2 years of marriage or 5? He may just find someone else that sparks his sexual interest. There is definitely something going on inside of him and the only way to figure that out is to ASK him and work through it. He needs to know that the current situation is unacceptable. He can't possibly think this is how you want to live the rest of your life. I would suggest couples counseling and would NOT marry him until these issues were resolved.
2007-11-15 15:43:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
woman, he's the two cheating or on drugs. maximum 22 365 days previous adult adult males that i know are sexy for all time. additionally, while he became looked at did they examine for chemical imbalance. His stuff might desire to easily be out of wack. yet my funds is on the medicine or cheating. in spite of everything i could do a splash detective artwork. by using fact all the indicators are there. Anger, denial, your not getting it, (so somebody is), and he's offering you with the guilt holiday. Sweetie run run as quickly as you could. (even quicker than the gingerbread guy) this occasion isn't of your making so do not venture such self effacing **** onto your self. you at the instant are not fat, gruesome or something. he's having subject concerns that he's not prepared back to words with. i opt for to recommend taking a destroy from him. yet interior the mean time, have him take a drug attempt. and have a chum stick to him around to be certain if he's cheating. by using fact like i pronounced. while you at the instant are not getting it. somebody is.
2016-09-29 08:20:29 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all it sounds like a pretty good relationship except for that, so just try and talk to him and tell him that you wish he could want to hold your hand and kiss you on his own, and tell him that you want to have sex more, not because the relationship is all about that, its just that some ppl dont realize how important sex is in a relationship
2007-11-16 09:04:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you understand he is too tired for sex, but he could still show affection in other ways like kissing and holding hands.
2007-11-15 15:41:01 · answer #6 · answered by Shubunkin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Straighten it out before you marry him......get into counseling.....pronto. This isn't normal. Ask him to see a doctor in case its a medical issue bur definitely, don't let this go.
2007-11-15 15:44:26 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he is cheating on you?? that happened to me when i was engaged..my fiance started acting more distant, and started arguing with me more..turns out he was cheating almost the whole time we were engaged..he could be changing his mind about marrying you..i would sit him down and try to get him to tell you what is wrong, although he might lie about it
2007-11-15 16:25:16 · answer #8 · answered by eliza l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but my first thought was "he's thinking of breaking up".
Maybe you should distance yourself from him, instead of clinging - it might make him stop taking you for granted!
2007-11-15 16:06:41 · answer #9 · answered by Mich 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am wondering if he is on any type of drug (legal or prescription) that may be effecting his libido or drive.
Anyway you look at it, it is not normal.
Good luck.
2007-11-15 15:43:31 · answer #10 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋