im married and im having problems in my marriage and i starting seeing this guy at work and i told him about what was going on in my marriage and he understood and well we went out and we spent the night to gether then the told me i was his first and i was suprised but after we keept seening each other and he started acting funny and a few months passed and i found out he was trying to date other girls at our job i talk to these girls and he denyed being with me im so hurt he wont talk to me and thought i dont work there any more it does not stop me from loving him wht do i do how do i get closure when he wont talk to me i feel like im dying in side when i think of him i get sick when ppl talk abt him i cry i hate this i dnot know wht to do how do i stop loving some one dat does not love me how do i let him go. my marrage is over and i told him all of that and still he did this to me. how can i be in love with someone who does not love me whats wrong with me?
2007-11-15 15:27:01 · 29 answers · asked by Kitty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave the baby alone! Fix your marriage and don't be a cradle robber!!
2007-11-15 15:48:09 · answer #1 · answered by 1080 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know this is very painful for you right now but you have to move on. 13 yrs is a huge age difference and he's still a kid. You are feeling vulnerable and insecure about yourself right now. Maybe you haven't had much experience dating before you were married so you felt love for this kid way too soon. You're feelng insecure in your marriage which led you to look elsewhere. But it did more harm than good. Now you are even more confused and hurt. You should go to a counselor and work on the inner you. Have an affair with yourself. Love yourself. You aren't ready for a relationship with anyone right now since you have to work on your own emotional growth first. You are still in the middle of a marriage. You have to decide if you love your husband and want to save your marriage. If not then you have to get a divorce and get through all that. And then maybe you will be ready to start a new relationship. Not now. And, if you love someone and they don't love you back then it's not love it's desperation.
2007-11-15 15:49:37 · answer #2 · answered by didderjiddit 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are 31, and he's 18. That's the problem. You are/were married. Do you really think being so young he will want to settle down with a 31 yr old? It's time for him to explore the world and women and relationships. You were likely vulnerable and you fell into it, when he took it to be just a casual fling. You never should have slept with him in the first place.. Fix or get out of your marriage, and move on to somebody in your age range when the time is right.
2007-11-15 15:33:51 · answer #3 · answered by Shelber 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Dear Kitty,
I know you're hurt and you have to realize he caught you in a vulnerable state of mind. Now you must hold your head up and not worry about what he say's or what others may say; Kitty the fact that you are 31 and he is 18 should have told you it wouldn't work. Guy's at that age only think about one thing (Pu_sy). If you're so uncomfortable that you can't work there then quit and get another job. Best of luck to you!
2007-11-15 16:27:22 · answer #4 · answered by beamer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First you are married, since you're a cheater, you should have the decency to divorce your husband and give him a chance at happiness.. Second, if a man were 31 and in love w/ an 18 year old, he'd be a pervert/pedofile. That's what you are.
I think you need to take time to assess your life, and what you want. He's 18 and has no desire to be in a relationship.
Either way, game over. You lose.
2007-11-15 16:19:36 · answer #5 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He is a "baby". Leave him alone. You are also married.
Take your "medicine" by being hurt .. but leave him alone.
He is a young man who has his life before him .. which probably includes dating a lot of other girls.
Your love for him is unhealthy for him .. and for you.
TIME .. will make this love for him go away. In the mean-time, realize that you should not be messing with a child .. so stop it .. and put the 'right' things back into your life.
He does not return your love anyway .. so back completely OFF .. even if he tries to come around some times.
Straighten your life UP.
2007-11-15 15:39:18 · answer #6 · answered by Tara 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Get it together!!!! He's 18, he doesn't want to be with a 31 year old. It was fun while it lasted but that's it. It's over. Why would you want to be with an 18 year old? You guys were just seeing each other and you got ahead of yourself (thinking you two were an item), you freaked him out and now it's over. If he denied being with you, then it's obvious you were a secret. So if he had intentions on being only with you, then people would've known about you. Honestly, you seem kind of pathetic. You came on way too strong and now he's gone and you don't know how to act. Get it together. There is so many MEN out there!!
2007-11-15 15:35:22 · answer #7 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
well no offence, that sounds kid like. you are 31 yrs old and should act it. the only thing an 18 yr old is after is a peice of what you have to offer in the bedroom. he more than likely got what he wanted and wanted to move on to someone else for the same thing. You shouldn't let your guards down for just anyone. Personally, I don't think you even love this guy the way you say you do. You just need someone who is willing to grow up and settle down like you would like.... hope you take my advice even though it seems a little rough......
pamela
2007-11-15 15:36:51 · answer #8 · answered by Pamela R 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Out of one side of your mouth "I'm married" and out of the other side "my marriage is over". What is it? Sounds to me as though you need to quit worrying about the kid and deal with your marriage. This is a young guy who helped you escape your reality for awhile and made you feel sexy & attractive again. It isn't love - he's 18. What could the 2 of your possibly have in common?? It sounds as though he realized this. Or, possibly his conscience took over and he didn't want to continue sleeping with someone else's wife?? He didn't do anything "to you" - he is free to date anyone he wants. He probably wants someone who is available and healthy to get into a relationship with. I will tell you how to get closure - go to a therapist and discuss it with them until you get over the whole thing. You need to stop this obsession.
2007-11-15 17:08:32 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are a married woman and may have been having problems at home but their was no need for you to step out on your husband with out talking about your problems, Than to go out with someone who is 18 years old he is just a baby trying to feel his way. If your feelings got hurt to bad because what you did to your husband was very tacky.
best of luck
2007-11-15 16:05:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
What did you expect, he is just a teenager. There was no way he could have understood your problems in your marriage considering those were adult problems and something he had never been through. You gave your heart to a kid, and he ran off. To him you were great for a first experience, but remember when you were 18, how did you feel about people in their 30's? I remember thinking they were SO old, and that's probably what he thinks about you and is pursuing girls his own age.
2007-11-15 15:35:42 · answer #11 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋