What is a fair way of splitting up chores with my fiance?

Question

My fiance and I have lived together for 6 months, along with his mother and brother, before moving into our new aprtment last month (she could support neither herself or her son financially by herself so my fiancee took care of them and they are now live in NC with her brother).

His mother, I'm relizing, must have been doing most of the cleaning, because the place is ALWAYS a mess. We don't have kids, so I'm having a hard time trying to understand why our apartment is so messy all the time (dishes, laundry, trash, and random items strewn about).

We both feel like we clean up after the other one all the time. What are we doing wrong? Any ideas would be a great help. Thanks :)

Answer 1

First, have a place for everything, and everything in it's place. When you are done using an item, (like a tool) put it back right away-where it belongs.
Select one day per week for doing housework. Sat. is a pretty good day? Ok. Please, if you would like, put on some music you both like, and each one do one room at a time, until everything is done.
Bathroom: Start with the tub, sink/counter/toilet. Take out the trash. Sweep and mop the floor.
Bedroom: Get the dirty clothes put in the hamper, or laundry basket to be washed. Please make sure all clean clothes are put away properly where they belong. Shoes/slippers too.
Declutter/Dust/Straighten each surface in the bedroom--tables desk, etc.
Change the sheets/make the bed. (make the bed every morning as well). Once per week, or not more than once every two weeks the sheets need to be changed on the bed.
Take out the trash. Vacuum the carpet, or if hardwood floor, sweep the floor.
Livingroom: Declutter/Dust/Straighten all surfaces (tables, etc.) in the livingroom. Put things away in proper orderly way. Vacuum the carpet-or again, hardwood floor, sweep it.
Kitchen: Do the dishes daily. Put them away when the are dry.
Wipe down the stove, countertops. Clean out the fridge once a week (get rid of old food kept in there). Get the trash out. Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Any hallways, etc. that need vacuuming, or sweeping, please take care of weekly.
As for sharing the chores: You can alternate each week--one does certain chores, the following week, trade. Keep the calendar updated to help keep track.
Or, do them together. Like in the bathroom, one does the tub, sink and counter, the other does the toilet, sweep and mop the floor. Trash out.
Or, pick a day of the week for a room to be cleaned. Pick a day of the week to do laundry-or at least one load per day if needed-washed, dried, and put away properly.
Trash could be "gathered up" once or twice per week, to be taken out of the house when you clean the certain room(s), or the day before trash pick up day.
Please, sit down together, consider making a list of the chores needing to be done: Daily, Weekly, Monthly. (like washing the windows). Try to balance out to the best of your ability who does what. Be willing to meet again, and trade if something doesn't work out for one of you.
As for dishes, if you both cook, whoever does the cooking of dinner, that night the other does the dishes. Or, do the dishes together-time to talk.
Hope this helps you. Take care.

Answer 2

Basic rules, you will do most of the cleaning. Ask him to keep his clothes picked up and to take dirty dishes to sink and rinse them. You do the same. Spend 1/2 hour every day, yes every day, before you turn in just picking up and putting things away, doing dishes, checking to see if laundry needs done (to make your life easier, get a hamper/basket for each load type ie; one for darks, lights, whites, delecates, whatever and teach him the basics of the idea, label each basket.) then, once a week or so do "heavy cleaning". It should only take an hour or so depending on the size of your place. Vacuuming, mopping and the like, laundry if you have enough to only do it once a week. If you spend the 1/2 hour each night, your place will get in order in a week or so and stay that way once you get it there, you will find as you get organized you won't need so much time. The reason you do it before bed, you will sleep better knowing your place is neater, it takes down the stress levels. Hope this helps!

Answer 3

first of all, neither of you should be cleaning up after each other all the time. you should mostly be cleaning up after yourselves. for major chores, decide who's going to do what, and if there are thing neither one of you wants to do on a regular basis, take turns or pay someone else to do it. put it in writing. your fiance' needs to grow up and recognize the difference between a mother and a spouse. if he has a hard time figuring it out, give him a hint - tell him it has to do with sleeping arrangements. if things don't change now, it will be harder after you're married. if that's a deal breaker, better to know now before you tie the knot.

Answer 4

Each person should be picking up after themselves..
Divide up the chores, for ex. one cooks, the other cleans the kitchen. Decide on a day (say like Sat) to do major cleaning -- yardwork, scrubbing, (all the big jobs) that way during the week you can do little things.

Answer 5

This is what I do at my house......Make a list of everything to be done, for example, laundry, dishes, vacuum, dust, change sheets, trash, etc. Then make a chart and everyone chooses which chore they will do that day. If they make their own choice, its usually works better. No grumbling.

Answer 6

RED FLAG! Maybe you should be very careful and watch out for everything in your relationship. Small "white" lies are just that lies. Once it starts the slope gets slippery. Yes, you love him....do you want to be looking over your shoulder and second guessing his every move all the time? Think about it. Talk to him, one on one, get it out in the open. Be realistic, do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you can not trust? Good Luck.

Answer 7

after trying to figure that one out for 29 years. with our new retirement we found that the very best way is, first and for most pick up after yourself. second one week you clean everything and he does the yard work, then reverse who does what the next week. grocery shop together, i don't want him picking out my snacks.