My husband and I are pinching pennies. I was raised by a single mother and have had financial rough times myself. My husband comes from a more of a shelter home life. Because he is a financial specialist I let him handle the bills. I told me that we were about $800 short. I made the comment, "Oh, no..so we're broke." told him I loved him and got into the car jamming to my music and went to work. He says that he was in a bad mood all day because of what I said and that its all my fault. That comments like that makes him feel like I'm not happy in the marriage. I told him that he complains all the time and its okay, but when I do it lightning has struck. He also had asked me if he could buy a stationary bike. I said no because our money should go other places. He hissed and later told me that fine because he just told his parents to buy it for him for his birthday. Help!!! what do you think? Am I wrong and crazy?Your opinion is needed please!!!
2007-11-15 14:51:31 · 12 answers · asked by ky g 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's, to me, just normal. My husband and i struggled for years.. We have plenty of money NOW but we still disagree on how it should be spent. As long as hes trying and you don't make him feel like a horrid person for not making enough money, than you speaking your mind is communication and that's needed in a relationship.
2007-11-15 14:58:54 · answer #1 · answered by texasmom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, you got a live one!!! I always feel wives should speak their mind. How else their husband to know what is going on with them. Also, to help make the best decision for the better of the family. I don't understand why he (a financial specialist) said that the family is $800 short and later ask to buy stationary bike? Sound like he have problem manage the home finance. His behaving like a brat and immature to deal with a problem which he should be good in finding a solution to the family finance woe. I would suggest that both of you to sit down and write down all of your expense (home and personal) and look over where some cuts need to be made. And start saving up for a rainning day.
2007-11-15 15:09:52 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you've been married just long enough that the differences in 'cultural vocabulary' are beginning to show up.
Do yourselves a favor. Sit down, make a list of words pertaining to the things that might lead to arguments, then each of you write down what those words mean to you (and yeah, write it, otherwise an argument will take place over the meanings).
Given your situation, start with the word 'broke'. One of you might figure 'broke' only happens when there's 'NO money in the bank, NO food in the house, and NObody's got a job!'. The other might figure 'broke' means 'less than $5000 in savings'.
Don't try to CHANGE each other's vocabulary, just UNDERSTAND that if one of you SAYS 'broke' the other might HEAR 'disaster'.
And if he can WAIT till his birthday for his parents to buy him something that's not in your budget, realize that it may be from his culture, that IS restraint :).
Something else you need to do is try to come to some agreements about priorities, not only as far as finances go, but in matters of time and effort as well.
Oh, btw, even in long lasting marriages, both parties don't agree on what should be the biggest priorities, but by 30 years, they've usually figured out how to compromise :)
Hang in there!
2007-11-15 15:21:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but your husband sounds spoiled and familier with being controlling. Yes you can speak your mind. If he keeps the money and you are short, it DOES mean you are
broke. And yes stationary bikes are not high on the neccesities list when you are broke. I think you should be stronger, cause this thing needs someone in charge who thinks. Good Luck.
2007-11-15 15:12:43 · answer #4 · answered by nutsfornouveau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
communique is crucial in marriage. She remains residing like a mushy eco-friendly human being at the same time as that is in reality no longer the case. She has regularly happening jobs and ought to take them and existence heavily. She ought to guage a occupation replace at maximum and some self help mutually with her mind-set and mood. no longer each and every thing will continually flow her way and nor ought to they. She ought to easily take duty. you ought to address the placement in a calm, loving yet agency way. at the same time as she will develop into irate tell her to end and pay interest that her habit should not be tolerated you're chatting with her with appreciate as your spouse and as an human being. you at the prompt are not interior the employer of treating a grown women individuals like a newborn. There are responsibilites and she ought to possess as a lot as them. sufficient is sufficient. There are going to be many circumstances at the same time as she has oppositions yet you're taking them in attempt to flow on. She isn't engaged on human beings to love her she has a activity to do and a duty as an educator to both take it heavily or come across a sparkling occupation route. start up something for a replace and end it. TIme waits for no human being. If she can not cope with the pressures of authority she needs to come across a thanks to achieve this because expenses do no longer pay themselves. Futhermore she needs to appreciate you as her husband no longer cope with you with such disrespect. tell her to structure up or go in the route of the consequences. Get a grip on actuality and existence. Be agency yet loving. positioned your foot down it has gotten to some distance out of control.
2016-10-24 07:55:52 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is like yours i have to pick my words very carefully and that's not fair. My husband always took things i said to him the wrong way,i would ask him why do you always take what i say the wrong way there are two ways to take it and you preferred to always take it wrong why is that. Is that what you think of me i would say to him.
Does that sound familiar to you,is that how your husband is ?
2007-11-15 18:30:37 · answer #6 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a perfect example of why people should talk about finances, children, priorities, etc before marriage. God bless****
2007-11-15 14:58:04 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who could shut them up??? Seriously. Men are problem solvers and in his head he felt inadequate from your comment eventhough you didn't mean it that way (like he couldn't solve the problem). He'll get over it...
2007-11-15 15:01:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right, don't give in to him pay your bills then pleasure. I went through two bankruptcies because I gave into my ex-husband, I could not handle it any more.
2007-11-15 14:57:50 · answer #9 · answered by zoey1176 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
men will be men and they are babies sometimes he seems kinda weak asking mommy and daddy for a bike. Stand your ground stay strong.
2007-11-15 15:08:49 · answer #10 · answered by honeygirland 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋