My ex and I have joint custody. Currently I live out of state but do drive in twice a month to visit our child for the weekends. We do have a visitation order allowing me to spend time with our child. Recently our child has been acting up at my ex’s house and my ex has told me that our child will not be allowed to go with me this weekend because of the behavior our child is showing. I certainly disagree with this form of punishment. Wondering if anyone can give me any suggestions as to what I should or could do about my ex withholding our child from me? Also there have been many frustrations and feel maybe I should go to court and gain full custody but afraid of the mind games my ex plays…how does one handle this kind of crazy thinking and actions? My ex’s spouse of two months is parenting our child in a way I also disagree with. My child is 13 and has expressed (a lot) wanting to come with me. I’m trying my best to keep things calm however I am getting very frustrated with the lack of proper parenting and the dangling the two of them do with my child and I…like now I cannot spend this weekend with my child because they feel its best. Please let me know some suggestions on this.
2007-11-15 13:49:19 · 9 answers · asked by sunshine35 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is an inappropriate punishment and does violate your visitation. If you believe they are parenting inappropriately and that the child is "acting up", it would probably be best for you to go back to court.
2007-11-15 13:55:45 · answer #1 · answered by ThatGirl 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
All joint custody does is give the noncustodial parent the right to sign for medical treatment. The visitation stays the same. But if the child is 13 he/she has the right to say where he/she wants to live. If you feel its best that he/she live with you then take your ex back to court. As for keeping the child from you as a form of punishmest is wrong. You have the right to get your child on your weekends. Just go get him/her. there is nothing your ex can do about it. Just make sure you have your papers with you saying that you have joint custody just incase you have any problems and need to prove it. Things with my ex got so bad at one point that i keep my visitation, divorce and restraining order papers in my purse at all times. If you dont want to take it this far i would say just call your ex and tell her how you feel. Its not right of her to use you as punishment to your kid. Good Luck!!!
2007-11-15 14:05:17 · answer #2 · answered by beanodom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh hell no. no parent should use the other parent as a form of punishment. how dare she!! she has no business doing this. do you have a court order? use it. if she does not allow you to pick up your son at the appointed time, call the police. now, they may not do anything, but do not walk away without a police report. they will try to talk you out of writing one because they don't want to do the work. don't let them get away with it. then take her to court for violating a court order.
now, as for going for full custody, that's up to you. how is his school records?: any bad behavior reported? is she inflicting corporal punishment on the child? most children do act up at the dawn of a divorce and well after. so he may act up at your house too. but the question is who is better equipped and educated to handle it. and who has more time and resources to deal with the issue? and do keep in mind that often a child will request to live with the other parent when they aren't getting their way. so, do find out what the actual issue is and try to be supportive of the mother in properly disciplining your child together.
nothing makes me more mad then when i tell my son to sit down for dinner and his father tells him to go take a shower over the phone. even telling to just go do it, after my son has told him i would get mad. i actually caught my son on a lie when i put his father on speaker phone whiole i made my son repeat what he had said about his father. don't encourage your son's bad behavior either. take some parenting classes. you will be ordered by the court to do so anyway, but it always looks good to get an early start.
2007-11-15 14:08:13 · answer #3 · answered by Isabella S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The child is 13 and therefore in the eyes of the court can make up his/her own mind of whether they to visit. You should ask your child if he/she wants to come.
The court would take into consideration who the CHILD wants to live with.
But if the child has been 'acting up' and they are punishing the child for general bad behaviour................then a different punishement should be used ....................not YOUR visitation time. If you have orders that you can visit then you should take action.
2007-11-15 13:57:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I comprehend that what he did became awful, yet why placed all you time and efforts into hurting somebody? Revenge isn't a good element. you recognize the previous announcing, "2 wrongs do not make a desirable." i'm bored with vengeful, bitter divorced women people/adult adult males that bypass on and on searching for sympathy. most of the time, the tip of the courting became brought about by ability of the two events. the two people could artwork to maintain a courting going. I see lots of girls people marry adult adult males just to be married and its disgusting. adult adult males do it too. people greater often than not are undesirable with relationships. And, i could say, there are merely as many divorced adult adult males that opt for sympathy (frequently just to get intercourse however). i'm not announcing you're considered one of those folk unavoidably, yet how approximately taking the extreme street. Be the bigger individual! Can everybody try this for the duration of recent times? i know people won't like this answer. Its not directed at you; your question merely delivered it to strategies. If he particularly is a bad individual and a bad father then you definately could be entitled (in my view) to easily approximately each and every thing by using fact of your toddlers. If he's merely yet another stupid guy that screwed up slightly then in line with probability he deserved quite much less viciousness. There are consistently 2 facets to the tale. Sorry for the rambling. I merely think of way too lots time and attempt is poured into making people depressing. good success in all you do. i'm hoping you're happy with all you judgements, and, if not, there is often time. Sorry if i've got offended everybody, yet i've got not meant to. I do exactly unlike people who get excitement from different's suffering, nonetheless-referred to as undesirable people.
2016-09-29 08:11:42 · answer #5 · answered by starkes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure. Sounds like a possibility.
But more likely the fact is that you choosing to live so far away and only see your child twice a month is playing games with the child's head.
The two of you need to grow up. This is not all on your ex. You have a role to play in this tragedy as well.
Good luck.
2007-11-15 13:54:58 · answer #6 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Get a lawyer and take your spouse to court. Your spouse can't use that as a form of punishment. Your spouse is trying to punish you too.
2007-11-15 13:58:03 · answer #7 · answered by moonchild 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have joint custody and visitation is set. He CAN'T change that. Hell yeah you need to be in court. But make sure to have all of your ducks in a row when you go.Best of luck.
2007-11-15 13:59:29 · answer #8 · answered by specialsuber 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you have a court order ..... then she can not stop you ...she can get into trouble for breaking the order .... you can go to the local police when its your turn and tell them that you have an oder to see your child...good luck
2007-11-15 14:15:51 · answer #9 · answered by jess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋