i need serious answers only!!!!?

Question

my husband and i are having financial problems, we own 2 propertys and both are morgaged, 2 vehicles that we owe on and we have a few small monthly bills, i am out of work due to a work related injury and my husband gets his pension and ss and my daughter and i draw ss on him! its not that we can not make our bills its just that money is tight, nothing to play with. we have both propertys up for sale, but it seems no one is buying!! he has been very distant from me for about 2 months now, but for the past week we have only touched eachother 2 times, no hugs no kisses!! when we spoke about it today, he asked me what my problem was so i told him i wanted a little bit of attention, well his response was if i give you attention, we will end up living in a cardboard box under a bridge!! i don't understand how him giving me some attention is going to cause that, but that is honestly what he told me!!! i even asked him, is it worth loosing me over, he said nothing! what can i do?

when i said he said nothing, i meant he didn't even answer me!!!!

i have tried to sit down and talk to him, but he doesn't want to talk to me about it, i have even offered to settle on my work comp, to make things easier, but he won't even give me any advice on this!! my daughter is his step-daughter!! if this makes a difference!!! how do you talk to someone who won't talk to you?

i do consider his feeling, but he doesn't mine!! he traded trucks to lower the truck payment by 140.00 and only put it in his name!! yes it is TOD to me, but when i said something about it, he asked what the big deal was that my name is not on the truck? duh we are married, and the payment is coming out of our money!!!!

he does, he makes as much money as ssa will allow him to!!!!

i do go to him and hug him and kiss him, but he seems to not want me to, he acts as if it is a chore to put his arms around me or kiss me!! we have dropped the prices on our propertys! t.v and our vehicals are the only luxury we do have, we have given everything else up, we only eat out maybe 4 times a month!!

can't you people read he does have a job, and he is getting his retirement from ss, not disability!!

Answer 1

You guys need to "Back the Truck Up" and consider each others feelings. It's obviously that finances are causing the division in your relationship. Get in touch with a professional advisor in this matter and also while you are at it a marriage counselor. Do you guys love one another? Do you care to work things out? Then go for it and make the effort.

Answer 2

He probably is feeling the pressure of your situation and depressed. You need to sit down and talk and try to come up with some possible solutions. For example, even if the houses are not selling you may be able to rent them for the cost of your monthly payment plus a few dollars extra. Are you receiving any money for the work related injury? If not, you need to find a workman's compensation attorney and file for that. As far as food bills you may be able to shop at a dollar store and often you can save a bit there or some bakeries have day old stores where you can pay a portion of what things would have cost the day before but they are still good. Perhaps if he sees you are making progress to getting your finances in order he may feel better about the situation and you may even have a few dollars left over to do things together. Good Luck to you!!

Answer 3

You need to take some cuts.. If you are hurt and he draws SSA then you probably dont need two vehicles.. down sizing is the reponsible thing to do.. and i wouldnt be worrying about money to "play" with... i would be worrying about saving for your daughters education. And putting away for retirement.. or for a rainy day.. What if this happens again.. What will you do..

Please need to learn how to manage their money.. And stop living paycheck to paycheck..Even if its $25 a check .. at first.. its a start..

Grow up and be repsonsible for yourselves.. There are jobs your husband can get from home.. there is a thing called the internet now that people work from home all the time..

Quit making excuses and get your act together..
I think that touching should be the last of your concerns.. And if you can sit and type this question on the internet then you can be making money on the internet as well..

What are you teaching your child?? She is going to repeat this situation over for you to see .. teach her now how to handle this ... so she can be successfull..

Answer 4

There are 2 ways to look at this problem.

Either you continue to bark at him to give u the attention that u need OR you can be by his side to show support to him.

Either you bark or you show support.

Sorry for being rude.

Most of time, we women ask for attention from our own man. However, we need to look at the other side of it. I'm not pro to man but we need to keep a good balance.

His withdrawal from you is because he is so stress out by all the financial woes. Instead of being supportive and understanding, you stressed him even more by asking for attention.

Truly, even if he can give u the attention, it may satisfy you but not him 'cos this is not what he wants now. Man's ego laids in his ability to provide for family. If he can do that, then love and attention will naturally comes along.

Consider if you can do the following, your man will be appreciative of you and stay by your side and be loving to you when the problem is over.

1. Be supportive - listen to what he has to say. Even if he doesnt say. By holding his hand and be close to him, it's good enough. This action from you is telling him that he's not alone. You are here with him.

2. Show inititative - strike the conversation first. Dont be dishearted if he doesnt give you the attention. Believe me, he knows if he didnt treat you kind. It's juz probably he's not in a mood with all these problems. Be patient.

3. Try going for a short walk... it helps with a different environment.

There's nothing more than be supportive and understanding of your partner. Men know that. Be a partner with him and dun be sad if he's not giving you the attention now.

Together with him - solve the current problem by working hand in hand. And finally, both of u will ended up feeling happy and all these are over.

Take care and good luck!

Answer 5

1. You being out of work is out of your control -- but tell me, is his unemployment a choice? It seems to me that when things are so tight he might want to go out and get work to supplement what little you already have. That's a no brainer unless there is a legitimate reason why he can't physically work.

2. Your properties are not marketable as they are. You need to drop the price or present it better to give them the edge over the current market. This isn't a secret, it's about your current marketing. Review what you're doing and change it to your advantage.

3. Sell one of your cars. If money is so tight you need to cut back on your expenses and a car is a depreciating asset that is NOT going to make you any money. It's what is called 'Bad Debt'.

4. Get some budgeting advice if you don't already have it; cut back on luxury items (if you have them), get rid of cable tv, walk places, be clever about grocery buying etc....there is more than one way to skin a cat!! Be smart!

5. As the 'man' in the house your husband, I suspect, is less inclined to give you attention when something he should traditionally be in control of has control of him. Take things slowly; clearly his response to you about giving you attention isn't about you, but your financial situation. Don't get all heat up about it, let it slide and find a workable solution. The more you nag him about talking about affection etc the more he's going to go in the opposite direction.

6. Be smart: get some advice about marketting your properties for sale from someone who really knows their stuff and be ruthless with your current budget.

Answer 6

Ive heard that american men have a huge problem with women not working, but if you been injured he should understand....... now, my question is, if he dosent touch you, why dont you touch him??? if he dosent kiss you, why dont you KISS HIM??? maybe hes too worried to be thinking about stuff like that, you should iniciate some caressing, come on hes the one taking care of you financially, you take the first steps towards the attention subject, he might need it more than you do.

good luck

Answer 7

Maybe reverse tactics. Don't be mean, just become distant and preoccupied. Don't call after him, don't look for him. Find something else to do. You are too needy and he is too sure about you. Turn the tables, put some mystery into the mix. If you can hold out long enough, he will come around to find out why you are not the insecure one any longer.

Answer 8

Sounds like you are both stressed. That can put that distance between you. Try to sit down and talk about what you both are feeling and see if there is anyway to cut some of your expenses for alittle.

Let him know that it doesn't cost money to show you affection. Tell him little things that he can do to show you that he cares and loves you.

Try to get him to talk about your work comp. and get some advice from a church. They usually have financial counselors.

Good Luck!!!!!

Answer 9

when my hubby and i have financal troubles...he can not cope....... you say your not working? and it sounds like your hubby isnt working ........... i remember a time when my hubby wasnt working and he went into deprssion real bad..... i then made him and nagged him to find work anything i didnt care as long as it was something to keep him busy and get his mind off worries............. so here is what you should do ...as it is the wife 99% of the time that holds the family unit together......... try as best as you can to stay positive......... and get your self better .......... and get your self a job .............. plan breaks away or day trips out and away from the house.... as it sounds like you both spend too much time there...........and with your homes for sale lower the prices by as much as you can ...i wish you good luck

Answer 10

sounds to me that he is having a hard time dealing with the fact that hes not providing for his family, depression hurts everybody. Men just dont realize that.. or they wont admit it. Just go to him and give him a big hug and tell him that u love him and see what that gets ya.