Should a boy be forbidden to play with dolls?

Question

And engage in other types of play typically thought of as "girl games/toys"?

This is in response to the post about the boy who was forced to live as a girl and ended up commiting suicide. Admittedly, a very sad story. I noticed myself, and others, who posted something ot the extent of "children should be able to play with whatever toys/games are naturally of interest to them" got quite a few thumbs down. I'm curious to know why that is.

Should we try to ensure that out children are only exposed to "gender approriate" play? Dolls and toy ovens for girls, dump trucks and G.I. Joes for boys? Would it be wrong or detrimental to give a girl a "boy toy", or a boy a "girl toy"?

Jon- the question was not "what will they choose," but, should they be allowed? Even if the boys go for the truck over the dolls 99% of the time, the question remains, should the boy who want to play with the doll be allowed to? And what kind of evidence do you need? Many people who answered this question recall that their interest varied between typical "boy toys" and typical "girl toys."

jon: What I'm really trying to understand is what your problem is with this question. The question is what it is- no more, no less. You seem to be reading a lot more into it, but I'm not sure what. given what it is, I don't think "data" is necessary. It's simply a question of morality, and personal opinion. I'm not sure how "data" even would come into play.

Answer 1

Well, I think back on my own childhood (I'm female, by the way). I was given Tonka toys, Barbie dolls, and of course Breyer horses.

Tonka toys hauled in dirt and rocks and such, to build appropriate pastures, and enclosures for the Breyer horses.

Barbie was there only to be a servant to the Breyer horses.

What happened to me when I grew up? Well I now live/work on a permaculture farm, raising my own foods for myself and of course the livestock. I have 9 (real) horses, about 100 meat goats, a 20 hole rabbitry. The Tonka toys morphed into real John Deere & Oliver tractors, as well as big Ford trucks.

I became the servant to the animals I forced Barbie to be...and I love every minute of it!

I knew from the time I was a 6 year old girl I was going to grow up to live on a farm, and do things the "natural" way.

I say let children play with whatever toys they choose. A little boy who insists on lugging a baby doll about may grow up to be the best, most engaging father a child could ever ask for.

A little girl who insists on lugging about a Tonka truck may grow up to have a strong interest/aptitude in drafting, and open her own college teaching drafting to other people....oh yeah....that little girl is my own mother!!! She sells realestate now, since that interests her more.

Let children play with whatever they want. Give them toys that will engage their minds, bodies and imaginations...NOT toys that "play" for them.

Oh yeah...I had a cap gun too, to protect my Breyer horses from horse thieves. Not yet had anyone try to steal my horses, but had a few people try to steal meat goats from me!

Just because a child takes a serrious interest in a toy that is "not gender appropriate" does not mean they will grow up to be an odd ball.

I grew up with a young man who had a SERRIOUS intest in fabrics/clothing and makeup. Grew up to be gay, right? Not hardly....strait as they come, has an incredibly "hot" girlfiend, and makes his living doing makeup and "fashion clothes" for horrer movies.

Let them play with whatever they want to. Children are "smarter" than adults and certainly more honest.

~Garnet
Homesteading/Farming over 20 years

Answer 2

Its a sad world we live in where this has validity as a question. I yearn for a time when no toy, or avenue of interest if associated with a particular gender of sexual orientation. Let kids be kids. You can't squash the personality out of an individual even by restricting their toys as a child, so if your son likes dolls no matter how hard you try to oppose this interest he will always be so inclined.

Answer 3

Absolutely not.

I have only brothers and had mostly male friends growing up. I was a tomboy. I don't even remember having a doll or a Barbie. I played sports outside, played with boy's toys, played video games, etc. Now, as an adult I'm very femininine. I'm sure that if I had sisters instead of brothers, I would play with girl's toys more, but I didn't have any sisters.

Answer 4

I don't have any boys so I can only answer about what I did with my girls. They received both dolls and toys that are generally considered suitable for boys like Legos and K'Nex. Both of my girls soon lost interest in the dolls and I ended up getting rid of them. However, they still have the Legos and the K'Nex sets and play with them from time to time.

Answer 5

GI Joe is a doll... ooops... I mean "action figure". Ha!

EDIT

I only worry when the kid has GI Joe on top of Barbie while Ken is tied up in a chair watching. At THAT point, do seek help!

EDIT

When I was a kid, around the time Star Wars figures replaced Steve Austin and Evel Knieval as the popular "action figures" (and before the GI Joe revival), the girls seemed to like the Star Wars figures ALMOST as much as the boys did.

However, I also recall that boys seemed more interested in arranging various battle scene, while the girls seemed more concerned with scenes of "rescuing the Princess". And the girls were passionate about whether Han or Luke should be with Leia.

Nature or nurture? Who cares. Unless their play takes a really disturbing turn, let them develop spontaneously.

EDIT

More anecdote (what else could it be?) but I was thinking about my niece and nephews. For them it was the revival of Star Trek, with TNG and DS9. Like the boys of my generation, my nephews arranged battle scenes a lot. But my niece was as much into having Major Kira kick butt as she was into acting out jadzia Dax and Dr. Bashir solve a scientific problem!

Answer 6

I know plenty of grown men that play with dolls!LOL but seriously I have two boys and when they go to Granny's some times they go for the dolls but we say nothing. Next time they go for a truck who cares. When I was little I use to play with cars at school with the boys I'm happily married to a man and have 2 kids and I'm just fine.

Answer 7

I say let a child play with whatever toys they like. If you give a girl a firetruck and she then asks for a doll instead don't scold her for being complicit in patriarchy!!!
Don't force girl toys on a boy or boy toys on a girl. Feminist sociomeddling led to the suicide of a boy so please let's keep feminism out of the playroom.
The problem with feminists is that they think everything is socialised. Studies show time and again that very young children gravitate to gender typical toys. It's called human nature - that thing feminists have a real problem with. So no a boy shouldn't be forbidden from playing with dolls but if he doesn't want to he shouldn't be scolded for being masculine.

Answer 8

why should boys think playing with dolls is wrong? my son will have a wide variety of choices when it comes to the toys he gets to play with. if he wants a truck, so be it. a doll, sure. to me, that is more healthy than telling your kid that they must conform to some silly gender norm.

my son is 8 months old and right now he LOVES dolls. in fact, he has a Glow worm that he crawls around with and a stuffed bear that he naps with. he also plays with his toy drums. it's ok to give kids "gender toys" as long as they are also allowed access to other toys. when talking about boys, i want to teach my son that he can do anything he wants, just like i would teach a daughter if i had one. he should know that he CAN do "girly" things just as well as he can do "manly" things.

GNU: HAHAHAH. thanks for the laugh, it's been a looooong day! ;)

Answer 9

It's best to provide a wide variety of toys and raw materials appropriate to a child's age level and a selection of toys from the next more mature level in the child's environment and then allow him or her to play freely with whatever the child chooses to play with. By deliberately forbidding a child from exploring a normal activity such as fatherhood or baby care through doll play is damaging to the child and violates his rights.

Answer 10

When my son was very young, he wanted a Barbie. He got one. Since he grew up and became a Marine, I can't say it hurt his masculinity any. When my daughter was little, she wanted a tool box, she got one. She's a nurse. With four children. So I guess she's alright too.

We are so uptight in this country about shutting people into gender categories as soon as they are born. It's almost a sickness. I think we'd all benefit from being okay with taking on a more balanced view of gender roles and characteristics.

Oh, when I was a kid, I wanted to grow up to be a cowboy, not a cowgirl. I don't think it harmed me any either.