ok. so I know getting hit by your spouse is not right. its happend to me a few times already when we argue and the arguments get really heated up. after the argument is over he's sorry about it. I dont believe it. I dont know what to do. we have children together. its happend in front of them too. I just need some advice from someone. again, I know this should not be happening but i dont know what else to do. I dont want this hitting to keep on happening speacialy infront of our toddlers.
2007-11-15 13:33:49 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
its too late to be "sorry". require he move out, if you want to attempt working things out require he go to anger managment.
you want these types of things on record now, it can only help you with the eventual demise of this relationship.
2007-11-15 13:40:24 · answer #1 · answered by nodumgys 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out right now. No real man should touch any woman like that. He says he is sorry so you won't be distant anymore. But I think that stay with someone just because you have kids is not a very smart think to do. If you have little girls then they might let some guy treat them the same way someday. Or if you have young boys they will pick up on his bad habits.
2007-11-15 13:40:46 · answer #2 · answered by myfav1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know it's wrong, you know it's not going to stop while you're not doing anything to enforce change.
1. Leave or
2. Call the cops when he does it again
If you want your marriage to work without the violence and you're both committed to that, get Anger Management; and councelling.
You are both influencing your kids in such a bad way -- have you not heard of the 'cycle of abuse'?? Either your kids will grow up to be abusers, will grow up to be abused or there is a slim chance they'll grow up with little respect for you both and break the cycle. Either way; there is an uncanny way that our children look for partners just like their parents....
If you want more for your kids then do the right thing, get out or get help and be serious about it.
2007-11-15 13:41:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. He probably is an abuser or a very angry person right now.
Find some place else to stay for a short while. Get help to find a way to get him help. Stay safe, find friends or family who can help you.
It is never right to beat up another person. Do not take this from him but don't argue about it. Just leave and take those kids with you. Your leaving will send him a message that you will not accept that behavior from him because you respect yourself too much. You can also probably press charges against him.
2007-11-15 13:38:25 · answer #4 · answered by keyz 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should not believe him because he is lying to you. He continues to hit you and you continue to take it. Stop taking it. Does he tell you that you made him do it? Nobody made him hit you but him.He might also hit them eventually and he might use intimidation with your children. This is not a good environment for them to be in. It is your responsibility to keep them safe. That is your obligation as a mother.They should not see or hear this. You are doing a great disservice to them to allow this to happen. You need to get them out of there. You do not need to be there either. Never allow anyone to do to you what you do not want no matter who it is. This will not get any better it will only get worse. Your children are probably scared to death. Children that live like this are more than likely to grow up and repeat this because it is what is normal to them. If you cannot leave for yourself, leave for them and do it soon.
2007-11-15 13:45:08 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have you seen a movie called " the burning bed" with Farrah Fawcet??? watch it and pay attention, he might be sorry for what he did, correct, but he keeps doing it, so ask yourself how many times are you willing to forgive him?? call your mom, take your kids there and move out, get a job and fille for divorce, this type of men dont change sweetie, not even with the best of therapy.
get therapy for you in the mean time so you can actually heal from this, cause if you didnt levae the first time, you already have a problem.
good luck
2007-11-15 15:15:24 · answer #6 · answered by suehellen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THAT IS HOW IT STARTED WITH ME THEN I HAD TO WEAR WIGS FOR 6 MONTHS CAUSE ONE DAY HE GOT DRUNK AND PULLED OUT MY HAIR THE SIZE OF MY HAND IN THE CROWN AREA GIRL LET ME TELL YOU GET OUT AND STOP THINKING IT WILL STOP IT WON'T MINE IS finely GONE NOW CAUSE HE RAN FROM THE LAW DON'T THINK HE WONT HIT THE KIDS HE WILL DO IT WHEN YOUR NOT AROUND AND YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT IT TELL THE BABY'S ARE GROWN UP SO IT IS NOT WORTH IT TRUST ME NOW I AM GOING TO TELL YOU HOW YOU GET OVER THE THING CALLED LOVE I REALLY LOVED THE KIDS DAD AND I THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO CHANGE HE IS STILL A DRUNK AND MEAN AS EVER SO THE TRICK IS TO EVERYDAY THINK OF THE SMACKS AND GET MAD AND STAY MAD.....JUST THINK OF HIM CHEATING ON YOU EVEN IF HE IS NOT THAT HELPS MINE DID CHEAT SO THAT MADE IT EASY FOR ME....SO SEE STAYING MAD WILL MAKE YOUR LOVE STOP AND THEN YOU WILL BE BETTER OFF AND THEN DON'T FIND SOMEONE FOR AWHILE TAKE TIME TO RAISE THE KIDS AND ENJOY LIFE AND HAVE FUN WITH YOUR GIRLFRIENDS AND DO BE CAREFUL HE MAY COME AFTER YOU ONCE HE KNOWS IT IS OVER.....GET A DIVORCE FAST....AND GET A HAPPY LIFE. PLUS ONE MORE THING IF YOU STAY ONE DAY YOUR SON WILL BECOME HIM AND YOUR DAUGHTER WILL BECOME YOU!!!!!GET IT THAT IS WHY YOU GET AWAY FROM HIM.....GOOD LUCK....EMAIL ME IF YOU LIKE TO TALK AND BE FRIENDS OK
2007-11-15 13:55:57 · answer #7 · answered by daisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say, but if he hits you once, it will repeat, so get yourself and your kids away to a safe place, and demand that he get help with his violent temper. Only if he gets help, maybe there could be a future for the two of you. But there is NO REASON for anyone to hit anyone else. That's just abusive!! Good luck!!
2007-11-15 13:43:47 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get help from friends or family, or a local support group or women's shelter. Get some money saved, without your abusive husbands knowledge, take your children and get away from this man.
The smacking will turn to beatings, the beatings will worsen until you are hospitalized or worse. Are you going to wait until this out of control man turns his anger on your children and injures or kills them?
Save your children and yourself, get out now.
2007-11-15 13:46:25 · answer #9 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not a very good environment for the kids. watching their
parents argue and fight, resulting in you getting smack.
get some professional help and I'm sure this will continually
happen when you have arguments or if he does not want
help, I'm sorry to suggest a divorce. unless you want to be
a punching bag from time to time.
2007-11-15 13:45:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
then you leave him!! simple as that.
what kind of lesson are you teaching your children when they see it happening in front of them?! You need to think of the kids... get out!!
it'll just keep on happening like it has been. The whole point of the word "sorry" is that YOU ACTUALLY MEAN IT. Someone who says it and just repeats the same action is STUPID... go with your gut feeling. get your kids and get out.
2007-11-15 13:39:09 · answer #11 · answered by Alyssa Lynn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋