MY HUSBSND IS THE BREAD WINNER AND I STAY AT HOME WITH THE KIDS. I HAVE NOT BEEN BACK TO WORK IN THREE YEARS, AND KNOW THAT THE KIDS ARE OLDER I WANT TO WORK BUT HE DOES NOT WANT ME TO WORK . ALL HE DO IS GIVE REASONS NOT TO WORK AND IT'S ALL ABOUT HIM, HE EVEN WENT AS FAR TO SAY HE WILL PAY ME WHAT THE JOB WILL JUST FOR ME TO STAY HOME. HE EVEN WENT AS FAR AS TO FAID ME A JOB . NEXT DOOR TO HIS JOB. I DON'T KNOW SHOULD JUST STAY HOME AND BE A WIFE. OH YEAH HE SAID TO ME THAT I DON'T NEED THE MONEY , CAUSE IAM NOT STAVING
2007-11-15 13:33:04 · 9 answers · asked by LAMIKA P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The best thing for the children is for there to be a parent in the home when they get home form school. You do not say how old your chidren are, but unless they are adults, they need to have someone who cares about what they do!!
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2007-11-15 13:41:37 · answer #1 · answered by fire4511 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Compromise.
A husband who respects his wife would not control her like that. I've seen it so many times; you will get to the point of being worn down by his controlling nature to the point that you are his person and not your own.
If he has no reasonable explanation as to why he does not want you to work (and he's got to be honest because I suspect his is NOT being honest with you now) then I'd be inclined to find some part time work OR engage in some study from home or a course to upskill yourself. There are a lot of business opportunities for a woman who has been at home with kids. And even though I have little time for them, direct selling (ie phoenix trading-cards, Tupperware etc) could be a way for you to keep your mind active, earn some money and get out there in your community more.
I don't want to say for you to "submit" to his full will nor do I want to say to you to "rebel" against his wishes -- might I suggest that you however be smarter in how you deal with this situation....
There is more than one way to skin a cat....find a workable medium so he feels he's still in relative control of his household and you are getting the intellectual stimulation you need.
2007-11-15 21:52:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
He does sound controlling. He either doesnt want you to have your own money, or he wants to make sure he knows where you are and what you're doing. Or I could be totally off here and he could just be one of those men who like to be the sole breadwinner and feel like the man. I would say pin him down for a real reason. If it makes him feel THAT insecure, then maybe you could let it go.
2007-11-15 21:44:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
He's very insecure. He's afraid you'll be exposed to the opposite sex. If he wants to pay you accept it and save the money in your personal account for emergencies such as divorce (you never know). At the meantime, make sure he is a homebody. If he's not, then go get a job.
2007-11-16 11:15:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Submit.
2007-11-15 21:45:37 · answer #5 · answered by Mary 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is your husband, not your father. If you want to work, go find a job.
2007-11-16 01:26:59 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He sound's like a control freak, if he doesn't have a good reason for you not to work, then work.
2007-11-15 21:36:56 · answer #7 · answered by okimreadynow 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
go and get a job, geesh make some investments, if he leaves you or goes away, what r u gonna do? go get a job and the experience.
2007-11-15 21:42:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
he may be afraid of you leaving him if you can make money so be careful he sounds to me to one day hit you or something so if i was you i would work fast as you can and if he get in your face leave....good luck
2007-11-15 22:08:10 · answer #9 · answered by daisy 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋