Help with my poem?

Question

I had to write a poem about an animal to a friend in my Pre-AP class.

I need help because I don't think I used the right punctuation and capitalization and my stanzas might not even be in the right format so if you could just look over it and give me your opinion about it that would be helpful! :)


Dinosaur Poem


Our laughter fills the air due to this image of an important animal in which we share.

A friendship such as this comes once in a lifetime since it is so rare.

Dinosaurs, they fill us with excitement and glee;

So simple and childish these silly jokes, yet to you and me they mean more than anyone could ever see.

Through these creatures I am reminded of you.

Something used to make me happy and incapable of feeling blue.

I love my best always and forever until the end,

Taylor we will be inseparable friends!

also.. I need to take out most of the words - like, as, is, it, our ...
lol pretty much everyword I needed/ wanted to use!

Answer 1

Hope this helps. Have a nice day!!

Our laughter fills the air because of an important animal which we share.

A friendship like ours is once in a lifetime, ever so rare.

Dinosaurs, they fill us with excitement, fill us with glee;

So simple these child like jokes, yet to you and me they mean more than anyone could ever see.

These creatures remind me of you.

Something used to make me happy and incapable of feeling blue.

I love my best friend always and forever until the end,

Taylor we will always be inseparable friends!

Answer 2

The poem describes two friends looking at a dinosaur together and laughing, a shared experience that says something about the special bond between them. That's good material for a poem, but you can do more with it.

The best piece of poetry advice I ever got was just three words: "Show, don't tell." Show us the dinosaur. Especially, show us the things about the dinosaur that make the two friends laugh. What strikes you as funny? A long snaky neck? Horns on the head and face? Bony plates along the back? Spikes on the tail? Tiny arms on an enormous body? Don't just tell us about the silly jokes the two of you made about the animal; let us hear them. Did one of you say something about real dinosaurs not being purple like Barney? Did you joke about how many cheeseburgers it would take to fill the belly of such an enormous beast? Give us some specific details to bring the moment to life. And let us hear and see your shared laughter. Light giggles? Uncontrollable belly laughs? Did you throw back your heads? Roll on the floor? Maybe tears of laughter streamed down your face. Maybe one of you gasped, "Stop it, I can't breathe!" Details like that will bring your personalities to life and show your friendship instead of just telling about it.

Don't worry for now about punctuation, capital letters, and other technical details. Just concentrate on using concrete details to make the scene as vivd as possible.

Answer 3

Needs a little work. Poems don't use periods at the end of a line.
Basically the poem should should one of two things.
The first option is why you like that particular animal.
The second option is why it reminds you of someone or something.
Also try to make the lines the same length or close to
While rhyming is not mandatory it helps

Try something like this:
Dragon Poem
Love is like a reptile in many ways
Strong as a dragon's armored scales
Sweet as as serpent's tongue
Fierce as a dragon's flame
It reminds me of you, my love

I'm not a great poet but you get the idea.
Good Luck and no plagiarizing