my husband did not take me for a walk!?

Question

I am 2 months pregnant. i am having nausea most of the time. I stay at home right now. my husband works in manhatten, he commutes by train each way 45 mins. I always ask him to take for a walk and he always finds some reason to say no.. now i badly need some exercise and fresh air, i asked him today in the evening after he came back from work..he said he is tired, so i said then i will go alone no problem.. i dint even expect that he would say yes and let me walk alone in the dark..i walked alone in the dark for 25 mins.. i felt too bad that he cudnt take his pregnant wife jus for a walk !! what kind of a husband he should be !!?? i m very upset, i feel like leaving him and go :(

i know its tiring to go that long and work..but he has always been like this from 5 years of marriage..alwyas tired, doesnt show much interest in anything...for each everything i have to initiate and push if not he will sit thr and watch tv the whole day..last 4 years his office was jus 5 mins drive from home and i find no difference.. he has not gotten intimate with me on weekdays..he gets in mood once in 10 - 15 days !! all of these things bottle up within me and for silly reason i tend to burst !!

Answer 1

You are acting like a spoiled brat!! You are two months pregnant and are not working! Your husband is working all day, and dealing with the stress of the job and commute, and you want him to come home and go for a walk? Seeing as he does not want to walk with you, you are considering leaving him?

What on earth are you thinking? The man is working hard to support you and provide for your growing family, and you are sitting on your rear end all day! When he comes home, (tired and stressed) instead of your being grateful for what he is doing, you want him to cater to your every whim?

If you consider this to be the right way to act, do him a favor and leave him! You obviously only care about yourself, and he would be better off without a leach like you in his life!!

Sorry to be blunt, but you need to grow up!!

Answer 2

You said yourself that your husband works all day and commutes for an hour and a half every day, so that you can stay home. If he is responsible for YOUR every happiness, there likewise, you are responsible for HIS every happiness. Turn about is fair play. Walking alone in the dark in NYC is probably not the smartest thing in the world to do (depending on where you are). You should think of your unborn child's safety if you are not concerned with your own safety. Is it really that much all about you? I have two daughters and even at two months pregnant, I was able to think of someone other than myself. Compromising is part of being a wife and a big part of being a mom - perhaps you should start practicing now. Best of luck to you. Try pretzels for the nausea - they were my fave.

Answer 3

Get real, your thinking of leaving your husband over this? Look I am pregnant too, I am 40 weeks, 4 days pregnant, I understand the hormones all too well, the emotional rollercoasters, etc. I have also had to commute to work, and it becomes very tiring. Your husband works hard to support you, so you can stay home. Why aren't you working anyways? Your 8 weeks pregnant, there is no reason in the world for you not to be working. I worked as a Baker, for both of my pregnancy's. A very labour intensive job...I worked until week 28 with this one because I was on my feet all day, had intense pain from working all day. And it was very hard on my body. But you, you should be working. I know how boring it is being at home all day, and if I could be working I would be. What's this about not getting fresh air and exercise? Are you uable to go outside? Are you unable to take a walk during the day? What is stopping you? Do you have legs? If you don't want to walk in the dark, there are plenty of hours that have sun light. Nausea is a part of pregnancy..get use to it. You will feel far more, when you are further along then what you are feeling now. How are you going to deal with it then?
Here is a thing about any person who works all day - when they get home from a day of work, they want to be able to unwind. When my husband comes home from work, I get him a beer and he relaxes. I don't ask him to do anything, I give him a hug, a kiss, his beer and he unwinds. I ask him how his day was, and if he is home early enough, I will ask him what he wants to do that evening. But never do I ask him to go for a walk, go grocery shopping, take out the garbage, help with dinner, I let him have his time. It is important and you need to learn this really fast. He is going to say no to you when he comes home from work, get over it. It doesn't mean that won't do things with you, you have to ask at the right time.
You need to grow up, right here and now. You have a husband, you have a marriage....there are far bigger things that would be acceptable for you to leave your husband over. Not because he won't take a walk with you. Stop acting so damn spoiled. You have a husband who is willing to work so you can stay home...and why is he okay with this anyways? Because you have nausea? Because your pregnant? There are a million woman in this world who have far worse pregnancy's then you and still go to work, have kids, clean the house, take care of their family's, etc. You are not anything special.
Get a job, it will keep you busy, it will allow you to have adult interaction, it will get you out of the house, you will get your fresh air and your walks in. Seriously....some woman!

Answer 4

This is totally hormones talking. LET IT GO.

Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you're broken. At 2 months pregnant you can go out walking by yourself just as much as you could before! You are physically in the same shape as you were pre-pregnancy....and you're still completely able to defend yourself.

Why do you wait to walk until dark? If you're home all day, why can't you go for a walk during daylight hours? Unless you're trying to *force* your husband to go with you....which obviously he doesn't want to. And he's not a bad guy for not wanting to. He works at least 8 hours a day and then has a 1.5 hour commute on top if it. Crawl off his back and take *yourself* for a walk (if you don't want to do it at night, great-do it during the day!)....you're a completely capable full grown adult.

There is nothing wrong with your husband, it is your hormones that are out of control. Being hormonal while you are pregnant is normal, but taking them out on your husband is still not the right thing to do. He sounds like a good hardworking guy ...don't take your pregnant frustrations out on him-that will only hurt your relationship, often in a long term way that will last far beyond your pregnancy.

Answer 5

Don't leave him. As patronizing at it may sound, you are hormonal right now and you are reacting in extreme ways to issues that aren't so extreme.

Buck up and sit down with Dear Hubby and let him know what it would mean to you, if he would take you for that walk. He may be surprised to realize how hurt you actually are!

On the other hand, he may let you know that, while you are the light of his eye and the mother of his child, after that 45 minute commute from the city following a long, hard, stressful day at work, he's just tired and would really rather not go for a walk in the cold and the dark.

Communicate your desires and needs to him and LISTEN when he communicates in response.

I hope it turns out the way that it's best for both of you - the exercize will do you both good!

Answer 6

Go for a walk during the day - you said that you are home... I think that walking around in the dark was pretty silly. It isn't as though it's the only time you have to do it. That was a pretty immature way of proving a point.
He is probably exhausted - why don't you find something that you would both like to do together.

Answer 7

I can understand how might feel hon, but also try to see things from his view.
How many hrs does he work?
Now add the time he gets up before he leaves for work at an hr and a half to that plus the hrs he works.This is how long he has been going from the time he got up and the time he got home not to mention the work he does at his job.
Any possibility you could get a relative or friend to walk with you during the day before he gets home?

Answer 8

The man works all day commutes 1 1/2, and your whining about him not wanting to go for a walk with you. I walk every day by myself. I have for years. My husband isn't in to it. Maybe suggest a walk on the weekend, when he wouldn't be so tired. But if he doesn't want to, just accept it and let it go.

Answer 9

Sit down, have a good cry and realize your hormones are raging, and unfortunately our hormones make us think and act unreasonably at times. Perhaps on the weekends when your hubbby has a little more time to relax he will walk with you. If you are at home now try to go out by yourself during the day or find another expectant mom who might walk with you.

Answer 10

Give your man a break! He has worked all day - he is tired. Why don't you go for a walk in the daytime/ when it's safe? I think your hormones are just kicking in and making you more upset than you should be. Congrats on the baby!!