Is my husband cheating? What are the signs????

Question

Lately he doesn't want to talk about work when he gets home. he just says....I want to leave work at work! So I never hear how his day is or whats going on with him. He has never been very talkitive, but used to talk about his day with me. Now all I know is what I see while he's home. I am a stay at home mommy of 2 under 2!!! I'm just curious are there any signs I should be looking for that he is hiding something?? Or maybe he just doesn't like to talk about his day? Thanks!

Answer 1

Disconnecting emotionally, mentally and sexually.

He may just be sick of talking about work. There have to be other things to talk about besides work and kids. Still have a chat when he gets home but talk about other stuff, your husband isn't just his job, he is more than that, and you know him better than anyone. So talk about stuff he might be interested in.

Also, try and get a little dressed up for when he gets home, put the kids to bed early, or get them babysat for a night and light some candles in the bedroom and give him a massage with nice aromatic oils! Talk about his body, talk about crazy stuff you two did together before the kids came along..... reconnect as husband and wife and as lovers. I know with little ones it can be really hard, but you have to make sacrafices, because you are also a wife, not just a mum. Strong coffee helps!

If you do that (even if its once a month, but ideally fortnightly) and make sure you stay emotionally, mentally and sexually connected to your husband, no other woman will have a chance at stealing your husband, ever.

Answer 2

If he is cheating on you that would mean there would have to be time spent away from you,have you notice that. Does he go to work any earlier or does he come home later say by an hour more or less. When he is home do you get more phone calls and no one is on the other end if you answer. Has he taken more time getting ready for work and does he dress better. If you think something is going on 90% of the time it is.

Answer 3

I know all the classic signs of a cheater.(my husband always cheated on me) He says he is going to the store and he is gone for a long,long time and comes home with nothing or something little. He goes out at night and never comes home and doesn't even have the nerve to call. Has calls on his cell phone and can't explain who it is. His cell phone will ring and he wont answer it in front of you. You find numbers on his cell phone that you have never seen before.He starts dressing up just to go to the store. He will be talking on the phone and when you walk into the room he hangs up. Those are just some of the signs(wow,I went through all of that for so many years,I am so glad I finally got the guts to leave him) If you ever have that gut feeling that something isn't right,you are probably right. I had that feeling forever but I was in denial and I just didn't think it could happen to me. Good Luck!

Answer 4

That by itself isn't too alarming--he may just be dealing with some negative stress that he wants to get away from at home. I would be more concerned about other secretive behavior--like if he wants to keep his computer accounts, telephone, and/or bank account and credit cards separate and you don't have access to looking at them. If you are suspicious, try looking through phone/cell phone records first for unidentified #'s with multiple or long-duration calls. Watch for any hang-up calls to the house with blocked called ID, especially if he makes a phone call (or slips out) shortly afterward. Also if he has unexplained absences (stories that sound lame or later are found to have holes in them; overnight trips for work if this hasn't been the norm; late nights & no calling to check in, etc.). If he seems to be unwilling/non-committal regarding any long-term family plans, or if he is changing his personal appearance. Sudden health kick, growing/shaving facial hair, coloring gray, changing style of dress, etc. (Especially if clothing items show up that you haven't purchased and he has not been known to shop for himself much in the past!)
Sudden change in mood regarding sex--either more cold and distant or overly nice (as if guilty). Here is a biggie---not wearing (or losing) wedding ring.

If you really are suspicious, do NOT confront him first and let him know that you are on to him. Do some digging using the info I gave you or hire a private investigator if you're that concerned. Buy him a GPS phone for Christmas or something and track him. That way you can try to get some leverage and prepare yourself financially before the stuff hits the fan--do what you can to find and protect assets that he might try to drain or hide if he beats you to them. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but I'm telling you from experience--I hope you are just jumping to conclusions and this investigation will just give you peace of mind, but I bet you will get a lot of people on here saying "Just talk to him and ask him" and that is the LAST thing you need to do! He won't tell you the truth, and it will just put him at more of an advantage.

Answer 5

He's probably just really dissatisfied with his job and is really stressed out about it, which is why he doesn't want to talk about it. Maybe you can tell him about your day and what the kids did that day. Try talking about other things that can get him to talk. But, before you do that, give him time to sit and relax some when he first gets home. He will be more receptive to talking then. It doesn't sound like he's cheating from what you have told us though.

Answer 6

Hun. Your husband doesn't want to come home and talk about work! Who does? I'm sure it has nothing to do with him cheating. He wants to come home and relax. My husband's job is stressful (he's a firefighter/emt) and wants to come home and sit down, check his email...and if he decides to talk to me about his work day...I'm here to listen.
Don't start accusing him. Sounds like he hasn't did anything wrong:)

But I tell ya what. I know what it is like to be a stay at home mommy though (2 under 2 also- two years ago). Sounds like you need a break :)

Answer 7

Well maybe he is hiding something, but I think it just seems like he's stressed out. Has he maybe just gotten a promotion or something big going on at work? If he's really not the talkative type then I'm sure he's not the type to openly express his feelings so he holds it in. I do the same thing and it frustrates my boyfriend like crazy because he wants to know how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking because he's so open himself. But he needs to come out of that because if he holds it all it and keeps doing it, it'll just explode out of him, either in anger, sickness, etc. It's hard to learn to open up, so if he hasn't learned to be like that with you now then just try to comfort him. Make him his favorite meal and cuddle up and watch one of his favorite movies or take him to one of his favorite resturaunts and try to find a babysitter for the kids so he can relieve some of that stress.
But if he's getting home later than usual, stepping out of the room to make phone calls and simply seems avoidant then he might be hiding something, or someone. Confront him if that's the case.

Answer 8

The key is "he has never been very talkative". Men are not like women, they don't need to talk as much as we do. I would honor what he has asked you about leaving work at work. Talk about your and the kid's day. Give him a foot or shoulder massage to help him relax. It doesn't sound like he is having an affair.

Answer 9

You must have some doubt as to his loyalty, or you would not be asking this question. Does he talk about other things when he comes home? Is he still actively engaged in your normal family life? Do his friends act differently around you?

Women can usually trust their instincts, but don't look for smoke where there's no fire. If your whole relationship seems to have shifted, you need to have an honest talk with him about how you feel. But an open honest communication is never accusatory or whiny, so be careful about what you say and how you say it.

Answer 10

Be kind, caring, and keep a good home. Be a good listener without digging for conversation. Make good meals; be very loving, never withhold sex. Never nag; realize how stressful his life may be. Take care of yourself, trying to look nice, bathed and not gain too much weight. Be cheerful as much as you can. No other woman has a chance if he has you to come home to.

Listen to Dr. Laura on the radio.