Insecure or just a bad friend?

Question

My best friend has been acting really wierd for a while now. She always puts other people down by saying" OMG she's ugly""she's fat""omg she has a big nose"..I mean seriously everytime i bring someone up in a convo she interrupts with something mean to say about them. She's become so superficial and it's so annoying to the point where i dont feel like talking to her anymore. She always brings up ppl's flaws even though she has many and she says things to me like"omg your such a dumbass"when i prove her wrong about something but SHE THINKS she's right. She should'nt even be talking about appearences...well I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but she's no Beauty Queen either. It just annoys me, she used to be so nice and down to earth (part of the reason we WERE best friends) but now she's so stuck up and superficial and just plain mean. i just wanna slap her sometimes, she always finds away to bring me down or compete with me or try to prove me wrong. What do you think?

I've tried to talk to her about it, but then she gets all mad and offended and i tell her in a nice way......but yea, suddenly she thinks better than everbody else, and i compliment her literally all the time.

Answer 1

Get away from her!!! She's either self concious about something... or someone gave her a compliment on something that she feels too good about herself. You sound like a good person, let her go as a friend and if she asks why the disconnection, tell her exactly why!!! Don't hold back, maybe you'll snap her into reality! Good luck.

Answer 2

The girl is definitely insecure! And she's probably going through a faze and this is her way of dealing w/ it. Like a defense mechanism because she doesn't want others to look at her as being weak since she is so insecure. Just talk to her, or try that is, and ask her if something is up. Tell her how you're feeling and the change you've seen in her. Tell her how it bothers you when she puts everyone down, and maybe just take some space away so she can realize and admit to herself what's she's doing because before then she's Queen Of The Earth until someone puts her back in her place and makes her realize. Even if that's just by taking time apart - if she's smart, she'll figure it out. If not, then she's not really worth it in the end - who wants to be around such negativity?!!!

Answer 3

You should try telling her how you feel. I went through this last year in your position and the other. I think many people put down others to make themselves feel better, I've done it I won't lie, but a lot of it came from being insecure and wanting what that other had. I stopped talking to my best friend for 4 months over stuff like this, now we are talking again but we both had to sit down and have a serious talk. You should try that, just tell her you miss the old friend the one that was down to earth. If it doesn't work then get away for a bit maybe that will show her that being mean like that is no way to keep friends. Also if she keeps talking crap about others shes going to get it right back especially if she isn't that great looking either.


Good luck!

Answer 4

Be Mean To Her And Her Other Friends. Then When She Will Be Mad Say Now You Know How I Feel. Or Be Mean To Her Family Thats A Big Thing That Will Make Her Mad. Then Say I Know Im Just Joking But Just To Let You Know Thats What You Do.

Answer 5

I think if you're having an issue with your "best friend" it would be BEST to confront her about it. Be open and honest with how you are feeling and how her actions negatively affect your friendship. 100 different people will give you a 100 different answers as to what COULD be going on, but the fastest route to figuring out the problem is to ask her yourself. If you both care for each other, it will be easy to work through this issue and talk about how to resolve it. She may get mad, but she may not; if she does, at least YOU can say you tried. Your feelings are diminishing towards her, so my opinion would be to try and salvage what is left if she really means something to you. The longer you wait, the worse it will get. Good luck!

Answer 6

It sounds to me like your friend is pretty insecure of herself right now. It might be because she sees all the pretty people around her and feels a bit ugly or something else, but if she used to be so nice and down to earth, then she's probably still like that somewhere in there.. try talking to her about it, or complimenting her once in a while [ex. "nice shirt!" or " your hair looks cute today :)"] i mean, you guys are/were best friends, right? you shouldn't throw away a good friendship just because your friends going through a hard time right now.. hope i helped..

Answer 7

She's being completely insecure. Just a tip... the next time she does this, interrupt her and ask her if she says these things just to make herself feel better. I've had the same issue with people in my life around me and I find that once I've had enough, if I point out that they're being incredibly insensitive, and cruel, they usually either realize it and try to work on not putting other people down, or they stop hanging out with me... I'm fine with either scenarios because I done enjoy hanging around people like that. One more thing... if she says all of these nasty things about everyone else behind their backs.. imagine what she is saying about you when you're not around.

Answer 8

Sabrina negitive people are a drain but she has no right to judge others your right but in essance your judging also are you sure she isnt jelous of you and feels the need to put you down to help her deal with her own issues ?she will slowly push her friends away herself part of being a friend is letting her know shes not acting right and ask her whats wrong try to help if shes responsive help her if she doesnt improve let her go you cant help her

Answer 9

The problem is that now your 'friend' is insecure about herself. She puts others down because it makes her feel better about herself; even though it IS a very mean thing to do. When she calls someone "fat" or "ugly"...she probably feels "fat" and "ugly" herself! You need to aproach her privately and just flat-out ask her what her problem is with other people! There's no reason why she should be that mean to people!

Answer 10

i think your friend is insecure and a bad friend. well i know what u mean i have been in a situation similar to yours. all u can do is politely talk to your friend about how u feel about her. tell her everything. if u still don't like the way she acts and she can't accept your opinions, then sorry i'm to tell u this, but u need to let her go as your friend. i hope this helps. good luck and best wishes.