I give up! Thanks to everyone for helping but I can't anymore!?

Question

I can't do this! I am so tired of crying! TTC for 2 years with 1 miscariage! Every month I get the same letdown! What did I do to deserve this? Why do I keep watching that video by Kelly Coffey? Why do I do this every month when I know what the result will be? BFNEGATIVE! I am going crazy and right now I just want to walk in front of a moving bus because if I don't, I will do the same thing next month! It is a never ending cycle that always ends up with no pregnancy. I can't do this...I can't stop crying. Manicly depressed all the time! I don't know what else to do! What did I do to deserve this? Thanks to everyone who have answered my many questions over these years! I wish you luck with your quests for families...I just can't stop crying!!!!! I give up...........................................................................

Answer 1

Ur making me cry... Don't give up, you have to have faith in god, I also feel like I want to end my life but God does everything for a reason! I ttc for 14 months before I got pregnate then I delivered on 10/09/07 at 28 weeks the most beautiful angel that only weighed 15 oz and 10.8 inches long... ( she looked like her daddy) She only lived 8 days before I had to bury my baby and now I'm life less, and can't get out of bed but I swear to you there is light at the end of the tunnel, just relax i understand that the bfn are heart breaking but have faith... I was told by two dr that i would never have kids, god does everything for a reason we might not understand but please have faith. When you try to get pregnate it usually doesn't happen because thats all u think about... but If you e-mail me then I can try to help you just please please dont give up...

Answer 2

I am so sorry it has come to this for you. Maybe a break is what you need. Hubby and I have been ttc for 16 months for baby #1 with no pregnancy yet. We decided after last month to take a break from all the charting, opk's, temping, etc until the first of the year. We had tried 3 months of Clomid which all failed and this led up to us almost breaking down completely. So we prayed and decided to take a break. I have felt 10 times better this month than I have in the last 15. We both are already looking forward to starting back with all our ttc stuff in the new year. The stress is so great when ttc and they are find that it may be the number 1 cause of fertility problems. So relax and take some time off. Best wishes to you!!

Answer 3

I know anything anyone says isn't going to make you feel any better. You feel like a failure for not being able to do the one thing that God intended women to do during their lives. However, please remember, there are many many women in this world who have the same trouble and sometimes are just too stressed out. Taking a break does sound like a good idea. Not giving up on being a parent, but stop worrying about when you are ovulating, not ovulating, or if your period is late, or not late...Just relax and go on with your life and move your concerns to something else. It may still take some time, but you will be more sucessful if you are relaxed about concieving. After 2 years I understand "relax" left your vocabulary probably 1 1/2 years ago, but please try to. Don't give up. If it makes you feel any better. My husband and I have been trying for nearly a year ourselves, we did get pregnant, and had to have an emergancy D&C back in June because of a hormonal defect, and the baby did not expell at all. It was utterly the most horrible thing that has ever happened to me. To go into a doctor's office excited about seeing our baby on that monitor for the first time only to be told we would never be able to hold him/her. I don't think I even let my husband touch me for nearly 2 months because I was scared of it happening again. So you are not alone. Just keep your faith God will send you a child when it's time.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry that you feel this way. Sometimes when a woman is TTC so bad it can put an enormous amount of stress on your body which can cause you not to get pregnant. I would just try and relax and not think about it for a little while and see what happens. Also.....have you seen your doctor about it? They say that 12 months is the average time to get pregnant. If you haven't by then you need to see your doctor and have some tests done to see if there is anything medically preventing you from having a baby. Maybe your husband has low sperm-count? I know how you feel as it took me 12 months initially to get pregnant....I had a miscarriage.....then got pregnant again after 3 months.....had another miscarriage......then got pregnant again after 4 months and all is well. I'm really sorry about the way you are feeling but try not to be sad and depressed. ***BABY DUST TO YOU**** I wish you all the best for the future.

Answer 5

Hey hun!! Sounds like you do need a break. I have only been TTC for 3 months and I am already frustrated and I know how much you are hurting. Take several months off and just focus on you and your hubby. Do some things you guys have always wanted to do. Go on trips, renovations to your house or some type of project, etc. I know you are probably tired of hearing this but it will happen someday! Sometimes when women stop thinking about it..all of a sudden..they are pregnant! I hope everything works out for you and you get the family you want! Good luck and keep your head up!!!

Answer 6

Maybe you just need to vent then take a break 2-3 months. i don't know what your situations is but have you seen a reproductive endocriologist? have you had any fertility treatments? have you been having well timed sex for the last 24 months? i think there is still hope as long as there are options you haven't pursued.
i have been TTC for over a year. I have pcos. somedays i feel like giving up too. but i grieve, get upset and then figur eout what else i can do to have a baby. i'm 33 and i won't give-up, and God willing, i have a few good years left to try. you still have to continue to live a good life while going through this, enjoying eahc day, speding time with loved ones, finding new hobbies, life continues. unless you are heading towards 50, i think you still have lots of hope. and hey, some 50somethings pop out babies too. anythig an everything is possible.

Answer 7

We tried for almost two years when we finally got pregnant. I was so upset each month and that last week before I would be expecting my period I would think... "I'm going to get pregnant this month" but nothing. I finally went to a fertility specialist and they said I needed to track my ovulation for 3 months and come back... so I gave up. I was done.... The first month that I didn't test and didn't think about it at all... I got pregnant. In fact I was so sure that I wasn't pregnant that when I didn't get my period I figured I had just calcualted things wrong. The second day with/out my period I thought... "oh I must be pretty stressed at work... but I'll check in the morning just in case". third morning I was pregnant and I cried and cried and cried. I was on a business trip and out of town and no husband to share it with... But I was pregnant.

I can look back now and see that if I had of gotten pregnant ealier in those 2 years we would not be in the good home we are now or living the life we live. I wouldn't have my current job and it's stability and my husband job would have conflicted with a number of items.

Things happen at the right time we just don't always like the right time.

Good luck... I promise that in the end things will work out the way they are suppose to.

Answer 8

Ive been ready to give up forever now! I have been married for 4 yrs and been with the same name for 6yrs. WE have never used anything to prevent it... I have had 2 misscaraiges and LOTS OF crying. Then I took the advice of serveral friends that I heard went to this DR. 8 people all together!!! I work with everyone of them! I didnt know how common is was or should I say IS. I know it hurts. People say stop thinking about it, and Im like...UMMMM I CANT OR I WOULD?! Anyway, I went to this DR In august of 2007 and here I am a few months later and I have an answer as to WHY its not happing for me! I have a blocked tube, simple and easy to deal with. I am on my 2nd month of clomid (Took my first Pill today) and I will be ovulating on the side that isnt blocked this month.

SO the choice is up to you. But I know that you wont be able to stop or stop thinking about it. I know I cant no matter How hard I tried! I found out that there really was a problem. NOW I think Postive and say This is the month! I speak it and make it clear! and when it didnt happen last month I think! Thats ok! I will try next month. And I smile and pray for the day I get to start the clomid again!

Keep your chin up and do what is best. but remember your in control on your infertility not that it is control of you!!! Remember that talking with your partner is key maybe he can give you some advise that you didnt think to ask him. Give it try! GOOD LUCK! And BABY DUST TO YOU!

Answer 9

It sounds like it's a good mental health step for you to take a break from TTC for a while. It can be such a stressful and depressing time and difficult on the psyche. Taking a break can help restore your sanity and bring your happiness back.

Those things are important not only to TTC if you should ever change your mind again, but also to being a healthy parent should you change your mind and want to adopt. I don't know much about you and I certainly don't know what else you've tried, but I do know that I had to seek professional help from a reproductive endocronologist and even then it took a while. If you do try again, when you're physically and mentally ready, I wish you much luck.

For now, take the time for you that I can hear that you need so desperately.

Answer 10

Depression and stress are linked to infertility. Since you have actually conceived once before you atleast have the peace of mind that you are able to...God only gives us what we can handle and when we can handle it, you may think you are ready...but maybe God is just working on the perfect child for you and hasn't quite made him or her yet. Try to stay positive, I have heard A LOT of success stories like yours of women "giving up" on trying and winding up pregnant soon after because the stress of ttc is lifted and there is no pressure. You should definitely see your doctor though, for the depression. Maybe meds is not your choice, but there may be different options to help you. Whatever you decide, good luck and always remember there is a positive in everything. That means when God finally does give you your child you will thank Him that you had to wait so long!!