Do modern day feminists have the grace and dignity of the original feminists and suffragettes?

Question

Why do so many women say "I am not a feminist" when they actually believe in equality for genders? Does modern feminism encourage a sisterhood between women, or do some feminists confuse women, and make feminism unappealing? Do you think that there is an element of misandry in modern feminism?

Bob H, they managed to give women the right to vote. What does that have to do with hating men?

TG, of course the suffragettes were outspoken. How else would they have had their voices heard? That isn't what I mean when I say "grace and dignity". There is this backwardness and callousness in modern feminism which is totally ungraceful and undignified. It makes women look at feminism as if it is a bad thing.

Jo, I grew up in a very sexist culture, more sexist than American culture in the 70s. In any case, your answer totally proves my point. If I were not a feminist, why would I want to be one when there are people like you who are so bitter and angry? A person can be outspoken while also being dignified. If she/he acts like a barbarian and spits their words out at people instead of trying to rationally explain their ideas, who will take them seriously?

Answer 1

I believe a large portion of feminism is now reworded 'misandry', yes. It may not be direct misandy (e.g. "I hate all men, all men are rapists, etc.) but it is in the form of using skewed statistics (oftentimes by feminists themselves) to portray men as lesser abled, less intelligent, abusive or suchlike... when they know the vast, vast majority of men are decent, hardworking folks just trying to survive this game we call life.
I believe feminism attempts to acquire a 'sistahood' appeal, but for many, that itself is unappealing. Many women love the men in their life, and don't want to believe the skewed stats offered by feminists, claiming their Father or Brother is rapist or woman-beater.
Many women (and men) will state they are not feminist precisely because they believe in equality for the genders. That makes these people egalitarians, whereas feminism is losing it's stranglehold claim of equality in the light of modern day reality. For example, people see NOW.org jumping to defend child & husband murderers from legal ramifications simple because they are female. Most people believe a woman should have equality, by doing time in the 'cooler' just as a man would.
And certainly, I find it difficult to believe that the current day feminists have the grace of those who started the movement.

Answer 2

Grace and dignity? Is that what feminists require? I think the world in general is lacking grace and dignity, but those qualities are not the epitome of wonderfulness. If a person has to be strident or loud to get a point across, what's wrong with that? I think one of the goals of feminism was to eliminate such things as expectation of grace, and to accept a different way of communicating. Dignity--well, dignity is something we all--men and women--could use a little more of. And, in my opinion, there is dignity in working hard for the things you believe in.

Modern feminism does not encourage a sisterhood. Period.

Some feminists do confuse women and, therefore, make it unappealing.

Is there misandry in modern feminism? I hate the word misandry, but I agree that it's there. There is constant male bashing, and that is what turns me off the whole movement. So, for years, while I have supported feminist causes, the ONLY negative reaction I ever received was from women, not men. What does that tell you?

Answer 3

Oh definitely. The 'classical' Feminists have my respect and support any day/ any time. They would look down at these 'modern' Feminists who are fighting a war that doesn't exist and crying wolf about the misogyny that didn't exist, like cute little kids. Then they'll give these Feminists a nice hug, a pat on their cheeks and a popsicle in their hand, before turning them away.

Answer 4

I'm not sure you're completely right about the early movement. Some of the suffragettes were pretty darn outspoken.

I think modern feminism suffers from two things. One is their own success. Young women take recent advances so much for granted that it's hard for them to see what the problem is sometimes. As with racism, the most obvious problems have been largely resolved, and we are left with more subtle forms of bias that may not be as apparent or as important to some women. And the second is the reaction of men. When women reject "feminism," they are often rejecting an image portrayed by men - feminists as unattractive, poorly dressed, angry women who are probably lesbians or just mad because they can't get a date.

Answer 5

I'm going to work backwards. Last question first- not there is not misandry in feminism that that has equality has a goal. I can not say SOME feminists aren't misandrists- but I don't think I've seen one in this forum.

I am a feminist and actually donate funds to help women in developing countries gain in status. I don't think some women understand what life was like before the activism of the 60-70's.

I think many do have grace.

Answer 6

your question is really perpetuating generalizations. does this group have grace & dignity?

did the chauvinists of the 70s have grace & dignity?

do you remember the 70s?

while i was a child, do you know what i heard? "broads can't do this....broads can't do that...you broads are crazy....go back to the kitchen....and worse.

don't you think those words (and actions) would get an angry response?

have you ever heard of a social movement where there wasn't anger spurring on the movement? if they weren't angry or oppressed why would they fight?

and women who 'have it good' - great! we're happy for them. unfortunately, women didn't all have it great. i know several older women who were beat by their husbands. who's husbands gambled. who's husbands didn't open up emotionally & didn't participate in childrearing.

these days, women have a choice. men are more open & communicative. women & men have closer friendships - some college dorms even let them share apts together. all these choices & benefits are from feminism.

i'm tired of hearing about angry women. do ya seriously think such a movement could have happened by happy ones? do ya seriously think men didn't try to put us down & keep us in the kitchen "where we belonged" ?

geez.

talk to women who lived in the 70s.

the lack of appreciate for the gains they made can be unbelievable. (but having said that, i find other progressive sites quite the contrary)

Answer 7

Nope: they dont even have the same ideologies, in fact, the original feminists disagreed with abortion, and it was only when the pro-abortionists got into the feminist bandwagon when they got some hype.
Those women are right: feminism has become corrupted, but there are new movements, although weaker, but becoming strong, which are battling it and even simulating its original, pure core beliefs.
Of course there are elements of misandry in feminism today! Just look at all the laws feminists have been trying to get passed!

Answer 8

I think you have hit the nail on the head. Modern feminists give feminism a bad name, much the way that some hypocritical Christians give Christianity a bad name! I think I read another post comparing it to the perversion of the Union movement from its original honorable intentions and early accomplishments and I think that's another fair analogy.

I have a feeling that the true pioneers of the women's movement would turn over in their graves to see the nightmare that has been created out of their dream of equality!

The late country comedian Jerry Clower put it very profoundly if not eloquently on one of his recordings, probably made early on during the early days of NOW and the ERA campaign. He talked about his wife and how he took such good care of her--she didn't have to work outside the home; he brought her breakfast and coffee in bed every morning, etc., etc., and she didn't appreciate the feminists trying to "mess up the deal she had!" I enjoy the traditional roles of wife and mother, as well as old-fashioned chivalry, and I don't feel a "sisterhood" with any person of any gender that looks down on me for that!

Answer 9

There is an element of misandry in society, but true feminists don't abide by it. I do think that extremists in the 1970's sullied the reputation of feminism.

Answer 10

The Nag said it exactly right. Feminism is about selfishness to the highest order and women are acting in most facets of life as the most selfish generations to have ever existed.