How can we get kids at middle school to behave better?

Question

My daughter's middle school is a cess pool. The teachers are overwhelmed. Lunchtime there is awful. We were trying to brainstorm on how we could make it better. We would really love some practical ideas that we could apply or pursue. As a parent, I'd really like to able to support teachers who seem forced to spend more time on behavior than teaching. Is it possible to achieve such a change in this day and age? Thank you for your thoughts.

Perhaps I should clarify...legal and humane ways of inspiring change. LOL

Answer 1

Middle schools have always been difficult, even when we were there - about 40 years ago. I remember my middle schools being miserable places.

One key factor is getting the support of the other parents. Parents need to be more involved in schools and in what is happening with their children. See if you can campaign to get more parents into the school more often.

Another factor is to give these kids more repsonsibility and to include them in deciding what the rules will be and what the consequences will be for breaking the rules. Believe it or not, they will be brutal in determining consequences, and will be sensible in helping determine the rules. Kids of that age have a tremendous sense of what is fair and what is not. A program called Cooperative Discipline has worked very well in many middle schools.

Having a principal and staff who like working with kids of this age, and who can handle it, is also crucial. Often if teachers have been forced into a job at a middle school without really wanting to be there, it is very difficult for them. These kids are at t tumultuous time in their lives and need adults who can be entertaining, understanding, and supportive, while also establishing routines, rules, responsibiities, and reasonable expectations. Consistency is just as important now as it was when they were toddlers, maybe even more important.

A middle school that offers a good variety of extra-curricular activities has a better chance of changing behavior. Such activities give the kids somewhere to excel other than in academics, and give them a different kind of link to the school, and opportunities for personal growth. It is really great when parents can play a big role in the extra-curricular activities. Incorporate sports, fine arts, technology, and as many other areas of interest as can be managed.

Humour is really important. They are still kids and they still like to laugh. We have to be able to tweak their funny bones in a positive way. Kids who laugh with you don't tend to give trouble. They need a lot of guidance at this age, lots of individual attention and support.

With academics, they need to be challenged, but also given help and support when they struggle. They have tremendous capacity to learn at this age, and sometimes we forget that because so often so much is going on. Good curriculum designed for the thinking and learning needs of that age level will make a load of difference. These kids are capable, and want to be treated as such.

How big are the classes at your middle school? I realize you may not be able to change that, but smaller is better. Can parents volunteer at your school? An extra adult in a classroom can make a significant change in behavior.

I have included a few links with a vairety of opinions that may help you. I have been both a middle school teacher and a middle school principal, and loved it, so this issue is close to my heart. I hope these thoughts are of some help. Best of luck with making a difference.

Answer 2

All the kids are doing is trying to get attention from their fellow peirs. You can start by announcing to the school that you know that all the students are misbehaving, because this will make them some what aware of it. You could also visit the classes and tell them that trying to act funny for your friends isn't really that funny, and annoying. Usually the word "disruptive" does not have an effect. Trust me, "annoying" will work better. And besides, I should know best, I am in eigth grade.

Answer 3

I definitely understand what you are going through. After volunteering at a Houston, TX middle school for a few years and getting the sh*t knocked out of me a few times I have decided that you couldn't pay me enough to work at these places. If parents can't teach kids any respect for adults and their fellow man then fu*k the parents too. I am so sick and tired of hearing how it is society or governments responsibility for everything...well guess what parents...it starts at home and will never get better until you teach your kids respect!

Answer 4

I'm sorry but I really don't think it's possible. They are tweens and teens, that's the way they are. And I don't think it's going to change. i don't know if the teachers are being strict enough there. Teachers should moniter more at lunch and if the kids are behaving extremely badly, then have a teacher sit there in the class for lunch until they deserve to be alone again. Another thing you could do is force them to sit by themselves at lunch insted of together, believe me, it helps.

Answer 5

I hear of times when teachers were allowed to swat a child on the hand with a ruler, or paddle a student if they see fit.

Now parents are not allowed to do much to discipline their own children.

Then there are the parents who have no clue how to properly discipline their children because they were never disciplined.

In times past, communities were closer. Now you had better not talk to another person's child to correct them - it is considered rude or out of place.

Sitting in the corner with a dunce cap was embarrassing. Now sometimes kids are not even shamed for their behavior - it might warp their fragile self esteems, or something.

It still takes a village to raise a child. I think we need to allow school officials to discipline our children more. Parents need not live in fear of CPS because some bratty child decides to call and report her parents for using reasonable methods of discipline.

Answer 6

Here are some ideas:

Separate the troublemakers.

Issue clear rules to each student stating the penalty for disobeying them.

Begin detention if you do not alrady have it.

Notify paents about misbehavior.

Suspend teh worse ofenders.

Take away privileges for soffenders such as participation in activities.

Answer 7

The kids are lacking things to do. They therefore turn to destruction:) There is no easy answer to this question..it would require lots of time of planning and brainstorming. The school possibly needs strict rules and stricter teachers...both not something you can do in a snap.

Answer 8

We could start by training the parents to teach these little monsters how to behave. I hate that teachers have to spend so much time being referees and security guards that they dont have time to do what they are really being paid for, Have rules and discipline those who dont follow them. You dont have to make things unbearable but if they cant act that way at a restaurant then its not acceptable for school. Kids have to learn that there are rules to follow and that they are going to be held responsible for their actions.

Answer 9

Just lots and lots of volunteers helped when my daughter did her time in middle school. They have to keep them occupied some way. I know when I had middle school aged kids at home the devil really did work the idle hands, idle brains, idle feet and idle mouths. And the most effective thing I did to overcome the middle school years with my kiddos was wait a couple of years. Things got much calmer in high school.

Answer 10

Well i'm in Middle School and i'm telling you my school is bad! But not as bad as others...You could help the teachers by telling them to be keeping the students in,if they still don't behave then they could have the parents come in the classroom and follow them everywhere for a day to see how they act...It's a way to embaress them!And if they still don't behave maybe it's jus their friends or the school!You never know...[[=