Hi, I am a 26 year old male soon to be 27 going through a divorce. My question is what and who can I expect to date. Will girls be turned off because have a kid? The divorce was not my fault and I initiated it. I will not be paying alimony or child support because I can use bad things my ex did in court so she is not going for anything. She is already pregnant with someone else's kid and we are not divorced yet. I do well financially - I have a good job and my own side income coming in so I have tons saved and will be buying a house by myself after the divorce finalizes in 2 months. What can I expect and where should I go to meet girls? Should I go to night school at community college to meet girls? I eventually want to settle down, but I would like to have a good time for a bit since I missed that in my early 20's. We were married for 5 years and our son is 4. I would appreciate any advice. Thanks.
2007-11-15 11:12:58 · 16 answers · asked by Mikes S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're a package deal. No matter who you next date or marry, your child and ex-wife will be in the picture. Some women can handle that, many cannot.
2007-11-15 11:19:04 · answer #1 · answered by Level 7 is Best 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I am currently married to a divorced man with 2 kids and to be honest..its hard. I am 27 and he is mid-30's. There are many MANY baggage issues with the ex-wife even when we first started dating. The kids were the easy part. I went into it full well knowing that I was not their mother and wasnt trying to be. What I WAS trying to do was the be a friend and someone they could trust and a person they knew would love them. I didnt meet the kids until he and I were at least 6 months into serious dating and it worked out really well. I am not very close with both of his kids and we have a great family. His ex-wife is the one that makes things hard. Go into it with an open mind. It'll be harder than you think, but if you can get through it, then you two can get through anything. Dont judge him for his past, he can't change the things he did, made or said. Good luck!
2016-05-23 08:06:44 · answer #2 · answered by diann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok here it goes do not punish your kids because you have something against thier mother. You need to help support those kids. Child support is not just for clothes it is for shelter,food,electic bill,fun activities and other misc items. I think you need to find your priorities first. Your kids come first. You need to look within yourself and find why your marriage did not work so you do not go off marrying someone else having a couple of kids by them and doing the same exact thing and divorce. If you want to have a good time go out have a good time but be the father your son deserves.
2007-11-15 11:22:02 · answer #3 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, lots of girls will be ok with you having a child. But, you shouldn't rush into another relationship so soon after your divorce. Take time to get settled into your new life and to make sure your kid is also settled in. It's a big change for him. Once you know that he's doing ok and has adjusted to not having mommy around, then you can think of starting to date again. But right now, wait.
2007-11-15 11:21:26 · answer #4 · answered by randmthots 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself some time before getting back out there. Your focus should be getting through this divorce and providing a healthy environment for your son. Time to think of him, not what your dating life is going to be like. Doing this for him will more rewarding trust me.
Plus, down the road you being a great parent to your son will be a big attraction to many many women.
You've got a long life ahead of you, take the right road!!
Good luck!
2007-11-15 11:21:40 · answer #5 · answered by michael w 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you seeking sole custody of your child?
You should.
Single Dads with custody of a 4 year old is very attractive to many girls at church.
At least I found that was the case when my ex left me alone with a 4 year old.
You should be seeking sole custody of your child and seeking that your wife pay you child support.
Don't date and don't buy that house til after the divorce becomes final.
Don't give her any room to accuse you or to gain some ownership in a house.
Don't even sign the papers or start looking til after that divorce is final.
In some states that's several months AFTER the judge issues the final decree. In other states its immediate.
I'm a single Dad and I had to do what you are doing.
Pastor Art
2007-11-15 11:26:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I understand that you want to have a good time and all but you need to put your son first.
Don't go bringing home a bunch of women.
You will confuse the heck out of that boy. On the other hand you have every right to find some one so do it discreetly or just when you don't have him.
If you want to go back to school go for it but do it for the education and if you meet someone great!
When you do met someone just be honest in the situation that you are in. Not all women are shallow enough to judge you for your past. Good Luck to you.
2007-11-15 11:23:51 · answer #7 · answered by CrazyH 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Forget dating...just concentrate on your child until he or she is grown. Time with your son and building good memories with him is never wasted. This is no time to party - someone needs to be responsible.
Also, it is likely you will pay child support and alimony unless she's a lot richer than you. Divorce is costly.
I never recommend a woman marry a divorced man with children due to visitation and problems are usually very messy.
Joy to you!!!
2007-11-15 11:25:36 · answer #8 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your not paying child support !!!! Your child is innocent and deserves child support from you even if the divorce is your soon-to-be-ex-wives fault. How horrible of you to feel that your child is not entitled to be supported by you, his father.
I'm sure you'll meet some girl who is more than happy to see that you don't have that pesky child support payment. You can spend all your money on her, not your kid. I feel sorry for your kid.
2007-11-15 11:21:44 · answer #9 · answered by cafe_au_lait 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tough times ahead for your son. Try to keep your girlfriends separate unless you think it is serious, then bring your son into the picture.
Where to meet women? Through friends, work, bars, the gym, dating sites (how I met my man - we're engaged with 2 kids now - one mine from a previous relationship), through the neighbours. I don't envy you, meeting romantic prospects seems like hard work, you just have to get out there and overcome any shyness - being shy will not get you a date
2007-11-15 11:23:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My advice is do not date until after your divorce is final, and you have healed the emotional wounds.
After that, have fun. Just this time do not settle down so quickly.
And lastly, always know that your son comes first and any women you date with children will feel the same way about their children.
Good luck.
2007-11-15 11:20:13 · answer #11 · answered by box of rain 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋