We all get along fairly well between my fiance and there child and the exhusband. Lately the ex has been calling her at work and talking about plan change's or weekend visitation changes or plans. He is an ok guy. I feel that calling my fiance at work is over the line and that calling to talk about these matters could be done at our home when we see each other twice a week for visitation exchanges. Every tuesday ,Thursday and one weekend night a week we see each other so there are plenty of oppertunity to talk about matters. I'm wondering if I'm wrong for feeling that he is rude and inconsiderate of my feelings for calling her at work. I feel it is and that I should tell him so. So any good words on this would be great.
2007-11-15 10:30:32 · 13 answers · asked by Concerned32 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, you have every right to get up set. something else is going on.....you can bet on it.
2007-11-15 10:35:47 · answer #1 · answered by Sugar 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Don't listen to people that are saying something is going on. First, if something was going on, I bet your fiance would NOT be telling you he's been calling. And unless you work together there is no way you would even know without her telling you.
Second, if your fiance isn't bothered by it then you shouldn't be either. It's probably totally innocent. If you trust her, then let it be.
BUT if you really can't just let it be, then mention to her that you are not comfortable and that you would like her to say something to the ex about his calling. It's not your place to check the ex on his behavior it's your fiance's responsibility to do so.
2007-11-15 10:45:22 · answer #2 · answered by You Don't Know Me! 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, actually they are doing the right thing! You are not supposed to discuss visitation and those matters when the kids could possible overhear it... and trust me they try to hear - they sneak around and try to overhear as much as possible..
So anyway- as long as they are not discussing their love life etc.. don't worry and simply try to be supportive! I don't think you will have to worry about it! It is all about the kid in the big picture!
But if it makes you feel better - maybe you can suggest they use e-mail and copy you on it (you can say e-mail is so you have all that in writing) but it may make things awkward...
And trust me - you do not want them not getting along, cause that is soooo stressful!!!!
2007-11-15 10:37:30 · answer #3 · answered by Me 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What's a big deal with calling at work? Unless of course she can get in trouble for it at her job. It sounds like they are on good terms - good for them. What's the difference if they talk about it at work, at home, or during the visitation? Unless you're leaving something big out of your question, I think you are over-reacting.
2007-11-15 11:03:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would advise you to take this up with your fiancee, if this bother you. She should set the limit with her ex husband, since they have a date to meet then this matter should be address on those days. Maybe trying to get under your skin in which he is doing a good job doing it. Ask he why is her ex husband is now given her so much attention?
2007-11-15 10:47:21 · answer #5 · answered by Thomas 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
SHE needs to tell him. He shouldn't have any part of your lives, except for dropping the kid off and that's it.
If some other girl was doing that to MY partner I would be quite annoyed, it is just rude, especially to call and interrupt at work.
2007-11-15 10:35:58 · answer #6 · answered by myleslr 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Come on....they are the parents of a child together.
You knew this going in to the relationship and it's never going to change.
If you trust her what difference does it make where he calls her.
If you have trust issues then you should address them now before you get married.
You shouldn't tell him anything......if there's some telling to do she's the one to do it.
2007-11-15 10:36:33 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I smell a rat. I would be careful if I were you. Their old flames may be kindling again. I make it a point to stay away from divorced people. After all, the mistakes of the past tend to be come back some time.
Mr. M. on "is it wrong."
2007-11-15 10:35:03 · answer #8 · answered by Humberto M 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You should tell your ex that if there is something to talk about to call you and draw the line.
2007-11-15 10:41:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think she should be the one telling him not to call her cos if it comes from you, he'll just get an ego boost and think that you a re jealous etc.
she should be the one telling him whats appropriate.
talk to her and tell her how you feel and if she really cared about your feelings, im sure she would talk to her ex about it.
2007-11-15 10:35:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think he is doing this to get at you. I also think she is being disrespectful to you by allowing this to continue. Talk to her and tell her how you feel. She needs to stop this and tell the ex that he can talk to her when you are present or at home.
I would leave it to her to tell him tho.
2007-11-15 10:42:55 · answer #11 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋