Im pathetic because I cant move on?

Question

My boyfriend, first love broke up with me 2 months ago, my fault I took him for granted. It hurts so much and until I screwed up he was going to give us a second chance. Ive seen him here or there but I dont look at him because I feel terrible. Normally I dont get emotionally attached like this, I break up with a guy and im sad for a couple days then im okaIy but this one really got to me. I miss him so much and I know he cares, but we dont speak anymore after everything, I dont know what to do anymore, help me? Should I apologize? Id like a friendship, idk?

Answer 1

If you honestly believe that you did something wrong, then by all means apologize. But don't do it in the hopes that it will bring the two of you back together. Do it because it's the right thing to do, and it will clear the air.

As for becoming friends with him, I had one ex girlfriend who eventually became a lifelong friend, and my wife has one ex boyfriend who likewise became a long term friend. BUT....in both cases, the friendship did not start up until after a good amount of time had passed, and after both parties had begun to date someone else. You probably should not try to push a friendship when you are still hurting like this.

And it is NOT pathetic to be in pain :)

You are just not able to move on....yet. Mourning the loss of a relationship can be healthy, like mourning all the other losses in our lives.

Answer 2

T, first things first..YOU ARE NOT PATHETIC! Your emotional and hurting right now...

It's normal to be this way hunn. When my marriage broke up after 17yrs girl I could not breathe for about a year! I was so damn sorry and distraught, I felt like someone kicked me in my guts. I too, had to see him around town and he even came into the place I worked which almost sent me careening madly out of my mf mind! I thought I would never feel better. I always thought I owed him an explanation for "why" & "how" the relationship ended. I missed him like nothing else in my life before. It was a really awful time in my life. I feel you, I know EXACTLY how you feel. It sucks tina BUT..

Today, it's alot different. Unfortunetly, time and pain are sometimes great healing factors. My heart was too heavy anymore to carry around. After a year I "pulled"myself together and started to think more about myself. I got into gardening, volunteer work, cooking, reading more, decorating my home, anything to stop thinking of how miserable I felt. I can guarantee you that when you are serving food to a homeless person, you are NOT thinking about yourself. And that's the point..getting into something else, and OUT of yourself..

Give yourself all the time you need to grieve, he was your first love baby..BUT soon enough--I PROMISE--you won't feel the way you do now, always. There is a saying the old folks say: "This too, shall pass.." It's true. Just give yourself time..