I call my husband at lunch when he is at home. We start out ok and then I ask him to do something like wash the dishes or pick up some groceries and he gets pissed right away, in return I get pissed because he does not want to do anything and I start bitching him out.
2007-11-15 09:36:54 · 25 answers · asked by tuckerjess 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I call my husband at home from work, on his days off, the rest of his week is busy with school and full time work. I ask him to do the dishes or go to the grocery store for me and he gets pissed off, in return I get mad and start bitching at him.
2007-11-15 09:46:42 · update #1
Marriage is supposed to be 50-50.
If he isn't doing his share, HE is wrong. If he is actually working from home making money, you are both wrong--and you need to set some specific expectations for chores.
2007-11-15 09:40:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like a bad thing is starting in your marriage. Don't let it go any further if you love each other.
Sit down together with an open mind, (get rid of any animosity first) and talk about who does what around the house. Make a plan on which days that person will be responsible for what tasks.
Write it out on a calendar so it is visible and no one has an excuse that they didn't remember!
Communicate this way and you'll have a marriage based on mutual respect for each other. Good Luck.
2007-11-15 20:01:37 · answer #2 · answered by latebreakfast 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is in the wrong for getting "pissed off" at for for no apparent reason. You are also in the wrong for not understanding that he may have had a hard day and might not feel like picking up groceries and wash dishes. Gee wiz! I thought women were all touchy-feely and know exactly how men felt because we have "simple emotions"
2007-11-15 17:42:11 · answer #3 · answered by Sir Tobin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is home all day just siting on his *** doing nothing he is in the wrong for being so lazzy.He needs to get off his lazzy *** and help around the house.You don't ask for much I bet just to do something to help out.Ok just to let you know when my wife works and I'm home, I pick up the house, do dishes, check the mail, and get groceries when she ask me to and not ***** about it because she knows it will get done.Your right he needs to get up and help around the house he lives there too. The old ways are gone and he needs to get up to day.
2007-11-15 18:38:54 · answer #4 · answered by the answerman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More details are needed to answer this questions properly. You need to be more specific. If he does chores around the house on his own plus go to work and go to school then maybe you should back off a bit.. Again, I don't know the full story so I'm just making assumptions.. If he doesn't help out around the house then maybe you should sit down and express your concerns. Communication is key.. Good luck.
2007-11-15 17:59:15 · answer #5 · answered by Caligirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your both wrong because you are focused on the WRONG thing.
You should be asking how you can communicate more effectively so that he doesn't feel like you're nagging at him and he can be open to the fact that you are just trying to ask a favor of him.
Its not about "winning" or who's "right". That kind of mentally is EXTREMELY hard not to have, but it is a poison to your relationship.
Ask him tonight - how could I have asked you differently so that you wouldn't feel put out by my request? Or go one further and tell him, "I feel like you care and take care of me when you do x,y, and z - especially when I don't have to ask."
Remember - you need help, but HE needs to feel like he has some control "king of his castle" type thing. Women often do not understand this dynamic in men and they tend to dismiss it even more readily.
Its not about doing the chore to him - its about HIS perception that YOU are bossing him around and telling what, how, and when to do things. This is why men grow up and leave their mothers !!!
Do not allow yourself to become a nagging (mother-type). It'll ruin your relationship.
2007-11-15 17:46:46 · answer #6 · answered by aa889d 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
both of you are, yelling back and forth doesn't resolve anything. you dont provide enough details. does he work or what? was he busy with something? if not then no he shouldnt get pissed. i mean you throw the dishes in the dishwasher and turn it on dont you? washing dishes isnt that hard, just grab an ipod and listen to music, i do that. no big deal
2007-11-15 17:40:06 · answer #7 · answered by djmixah7 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I would do the same thing as you. I know.
But as the first response said, we nag.
We don't think we are, but apparently all men do think we are nagging, soooo its jut a battle of the sexes.
You have to ask him how does he want to be told or asked or yelled at or written to on things that need to be done. And if you come up w/ something suddely, than what does he want you to do in order to relate this information over to him.
than do what he sais.
I'm gonna try this out myself lol.
2007-11-15 17:41:57 · answer #8 · answered by tw9165 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't work and that is why he is at home, I say that you are in the right.
To diffuse the situation before it gets ugly, try to approach it in a different way. Instead of reacting to his pissy attitude, just tell him to not worry about it, that you don't want to fight and you will just take care of it yourself. This works for my man because he will feel guilty and do it before I get home.
2007-11-15 17:43:02 · answer #9 · answered by MommyB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends. Every time you call him are you asking him to do something? I know that if my wife calls me it is because she wants something done or to b**** about something, so now every time she calls I go into defense mode. Try to call him once in awhile just to say "I love you" and most of the attitude you feel from him should disapate. I hope it helps
2007-11-15 17:47:31 · answer #10 · answered by uniroyalfan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋