Is 19 to young to have a baby?

Question

I am going to be 19 in a few months and my boyfriend of 5 years is 23 he really want to have a baby and get married and thats what i want to. But there is only one problem im in college now and my parents are the kind that is i get preganat now im going to hell and my life will end. They are very old fashion what should i do ?

Answer 1

Yes...

Answer 2

Your parents have no right whatsoever to judge you and if they are religious, they should know that.

That being said, 19 may be a little young to have a baby, but it doesn't have to be that way for you. Sit down and figure out what you and your boyfriend want. If you want to keep and raise the child, then do so. If you want to give the child up for adoption, do that.

You can have a child and go to college, too. It might be a little more difficult, but people do it all the time. There are programs to help single parents pay for childcare while going to school. In Lexington, KY, there is a place called the Virginia House that is a home for single mothers (not sure about single fathers) who are going to school. It's a good program.

My sister got pregnant at 17 and had a baby at 18. She raised him on her own and he's 14 now. She didn't go to college right after he was born, but she is almost finished with her schooling now. She will graduate in May and will be a teacher. It can be done, even if your parents are being jerks.

Answer 3

If you are ready, then go for it!

You have been with this man for 5 years and will be getting married. Do that first. Then go ahead and start a family. Since there is two of you, each of you can have plenty of time off (after the baby begins sleeping through the night) to go out when you want.

It's not about the age (provided you are an adult), it's about the situation and you seem to be in a great one for beginning a family. College is no deterrent. There are plenty of programs for parenting students and I did my undergrad and grad school as a single mom! It's sure a lot more flexible than being in the workplace and starting a family!

And what if you wait and have to deal with going to work all day everyday with few sick or vacation days and being a mom at the same time? Or you wait until your late twenties and will be old and gray by the time the kids are out of the house and it's time for fun again?

I think you are very lucky.

Answer 4

You shouldn't have a baby yet. NOT because you'll go to hell, and not because of what anyone else thinks, But because when you have a child, that child deserves to have 2 parents who are able, willing, & ready. Just the fact that you asked this question shows that you are not ready. You are only 19. You need to do some stuff before settling down. 1-get your party on--Go have some fun, like all 19 year olds do 2- make sure that you are financially stable--A house, Cars, good Jobs 3--Get married first, and be married for a while. Enjoy each other & your alone time, because after the baby, it'll be about 20 years or so before you get that back.

Answer 5

Your parents are so smart (wise). Here I am at 54. I had no one to tell me any wisdom at your age.
First off: No wedding ring on the finger-he's a loser! Especially if he doesn't have a job.
Second: Your parents know from experience!
Third: Have a child now and all your life changes forever.

You go girl and get that college education. CAN always fall back on that education no matter what happens. Losers come and leave. He wants you to have a baby to tie you down to him. I've seen it too many times.
I had 3 children before age 23 and didn't graduate from college until I was 43.
Is very difficult to parent, attend college, work full/part time.
If you still insist on having a child, try paying for college and living on your own. See how difficult it is with no support for a few months, while you think about it.

Answer 6

It comes down to you, but in my opinion, your education should come first so you have something to fall on if anything were to happen between you and your partner. 19 is still young, but I can understand why it is an issue because the guy is older than you and believe it or not, many guys are ready to settle down at 23, especially in certain cultures. I'll tell you this. I know many women who have gotten married and still continued with their education. Some even had kids and still graduated with their degrees. If you feel that school is something for you, you need to talk with your boyfriend and ask his opinion. Would he allow you to go to school while you are married? Some men don't like the idea and actually force a girl to dedicate all of her time to the house. Some men are open-minded and allow the girl to work and/or go to school. Also, you have to ask him if he would mind waiting on having the baby until after you have gotten a degree and can focus all of your time on raising your child. If you're dedicated and want it for yourself, you'll find a way to get it. If you allow him to stop you from going, then it probably wasn't for you in the first place. Anyway, talk it out with him, but don't let him be the deciding factor. You have to take care of you first and a relationship consists of two people making sacrifices for each other. Also, I hope you're not thinking of having the baby first then getting married. If anything, GET MARRIED FIRST! I don't have to explain why. I think you're old enough to understand that at this point.

Answer 7

Been there done that. If he loves you he wont push you. Finish college and have the time and income and peace of mind that you did the right thing first...to ensure that child has everything in life means having the means to support it, the more the education the bigger the means. By the way, is he going to stay home and take care of the baby if you want to return to college and/or is he able to pay for the baby and you to stay home if not. Why don't you both volunteer at a day care for a few days and ask the parents there and take care of the diapers, feedings, illness and teaching. Might just have him take a different view of things. You make this decision about having the child, your body bringing in a new life. If you have to write on this site, you already have your doubts. Did your parents help raise and keep you and help you afford college? Perhaps they don't want to be in a position of having to take care of that child when you are old enough to realize that you want to go back and get that education they were talking about, more so when your child asks why you never finished college and it's your turn to try and encourage your child to get an education. Look before you leap!

Answer 8

yes it is to young for most 19 year olds. you are still in school so definately having a baby should take back seat. your 23 y.o boyfriend is obviously to young as well if he will even suggest doing this before you are out of school. please wait and get your education. get your career and finances secure first. you will be so glad you waited. its very hard and very expensive to have a baby and if you want a stable married life you both need to mature. (not saying you are immature-you are 19 and there is still alot of maturing for ALL 19 year olds to reach.) take a poll or look up the stats on how long a relationship will last at your age when babies and marriage is involved. geeze you can't even celebtate your wedding reception with champagne yet.

Answer 9

Hello, I am in the same situation!!! I am 19 in December and 4 months pregnant as of today!!! I have thought things over and my boyfriend is also 23. It's not like your the same age so i don't see a problem. I kept my baby because i would never give it up!!! Who is to say that just because your 19 and pregnant you won't finish college??? I'm going to college in the summer and will finish!!!! Just because you have a kid doesn't mean you have to give up your dreams. In fact my boyfriend wants to get married too but, he is also making me go back to school after the baby is born!! hey if i can do it, anyone can!!!! Just be happy that were lucky the father is in the babys life and willing to support you!!!

Answer 10

You are 18 (almost 19) and have been with your bf for 5 years so your in a long-term relationship. If you get married (which you say you want to do) and have a baby, it's really your business irregardless of what your parents say. I'm assuming your parents believe you should get married before you have a baby, and there isn't anything wrong with that but you say you do want to get married so there is no problem there. How are you paying for college? If they are paying for it, or took out a loan then maybe they are afraid if you get married you will drop out and that would be like spitting in their face. If you know you won't drop out, then go ahead, get married and have a baby, but if you think you might have to then wait.

Answer 11

This is so personal, and it's a decision you have to make for you, regardless of what other think or say. If you're concerned with what your parents think, you may be too young to have a baby. After you have a baby, they're going to have a lot of differing opinions, and you're going to have to learn to stand up for yourself and your child.

If you believe that becoming a parent is equal to throwing your life away, you're definitely too young to have a baby. Children are a blessing, and will take your life in a different direction no matter where on your life path you are when they're born. If you're not ready to embrace such a large change, and look at it as a negative, than you should wait.

There are people who are mature enough at a young age to become parents, but it's not necessarily common.