Non-Custodial Parent wants to Voluntary give up his rights...my husband wants to adopt my child..go to court?

Question

Since my marriage (2 yrs.ago) the non-custodial parent has participated in our childs' life (6 times in 2 year), yet before he was very cosistent. For the past year he's been very insistant in giving up his parental rights. He will leave the country on 11/28/07 for immigration stuff and upon his return (legally) he does not want to have a huge debt (child support), which he has expressed many times is his reason for giving rights up, but yet, he would like to see the child in the future- if I choose to let him, so he says? He has been financial supportive, but inactive in her life. He won't get a lawyer. He is harassing me to do the paper work before he leaves. I feel it is his responsibility because he is wanting this (yet, so do I) I am tired of going back and forth. My husband without a doubt wants (so do I) to adopt my oldest child (we have a child of our own). Who should do what? Is there time for court?What do you tell a chlld - oh your dad didn't want the debt or not tell

Answer 1

My dad did this to me and it never stopped hurting.
Does your husband REALLY consider her his own child? Because that's the true essence of adoption. If he loves her as much as he loves his own, by all means do it. Don't tell her what the father's reasons are. A kid can't process stuff like that and she will take it as rejection. Go into this with eyes wide open! Read some books on it or go to counseling. Your daughter faces some seriously painful emotions in the future. But it can be overcome.

Answer 2

Do what is in you and the childs best interest. I would suggest that should you go the court route and he gives up his rights, that you have it put in the court papers. A parent popping in and out of a childs life is not a good thing. Since you know that the reason is truly monetary, I would not allow visits in the future. Don't lie to the child, but don't go overboard either. Good luck.