Grammar check?

Question

The second improvement is no more after-school tutoring. Tutoring is good to students who feels need to study. However, in Korea, educational system is to getting rely on the tutoring rather than school. That's the problem so students don't focus much on school instructions, but focus much on tutoring because if students have a good teacher with tutoring, then it may be more helpful than teachers. With tutoring, students have to pay a a lot of amount of money for Educational system. To improve this system, school exams must be easier. Korean schools only take mid-term and final in a semester.

Answer 1

I assume English isn't your first language? It needs only some tweaks to make it sound natural. Without changing any of your content:

The second improvement is no more after-school tutoring. Tutoring is good for students who feel the need to study. However, in Korea, the educational system is starting to rely on the tutoring rather than school. That's a problem because students don't focus much on school instructions but focus more on tutoring. If students have a good tutor teaching them, it may be more helpful than teachers. With tutoring, students have to pay a lot of money for their education. To improve this system, school exams must be easier. Korean schools only test students mid-term and at the end of a semester.

Answer 2

The second improvement is no more after-school tutoring. Tutoring is good *for* students who *feel they* need to study. However, in Korea, *the students are getting to* rely on the tutoring rather than school. That's *a* problem *because* students don't focus much on school instructions, but *instead* focus on *tutoring because they find it very helpful if they have a good tutor.* With tutoring, students have to pay a lot of money for *education.* To improve this system, school exams must be easier. Korean schools only take mid-term and final *exams* in a semester. (Perhaps " Korean schools will now only take mid-term and final exams in a semester)

Answer 3

Your argument doesn't make much sense, but here's my version of it:

The second improvement is no more after-school tutoring. Tutoring is good to students who feel a need to study. However, in Korea, the educational system is starting to rely on the tutoring rather than school. That's the problem. Students focus on tutoring instead of school instructions, because good tutors can be more helpful than good teachers. With tutoring, students have to pay a lot of money for their education. To improve this system, school exams must be made easier. Korean students take only mid-terms and finals in a semester.

Answer 4

The second improvement is no more after-school tutoring. Tutoring is good for students who feel the need to study. However, in Korea, the educational system relies on tutoring rather than school. Students don't focus enough on the school's instructions, but focus more on tutoring. If students have a good teacher and tutoring, it may be more helpful than just a teacher. With tutoring, students have to pay a lot of money for an education. To improve this system, school exams must be easier. Korean schools only take mid-term and final exams in a semester.

Answer 5

The second improvement "WOULD BE" no more after-school tutoring (Tutelage is the correct form but no one uses it). Tutoring is good FOR students who feel COMPELLED to study. However, in Korea, THE educational system HAS BECOME MORE RELIANT on tutoring rather than school.
THIS IS PROBLEMATIC because students FOCUS LESS on their school instruction and MORE on tutoring "with which they have a personal and possibly better instructor. In this case is may be more helpful to teachers. Having to pay a tutor increases the cost of the students education dramatically. To improve this system, exams must be made easier. Korean schools SHOULD only take one mid-term and final a semester.

...Nice work with the commas, you didn't better than most Americans.

Answer 6

ur good