help me ...im 18 and pregnant n dont know who the father is...?

Question

this is more detailed...i had my last period on october 3rd...had sex with my ex on the 7th(last day of my period), then had sex with a guy on the 20th of october...today i had an ultrasound and the doc said i was 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant...im sooo confsed...so i counted back 4 weeks and 3 days from today and it is october 15th (my 18 bday)...i dont see how i could of had sex on the 20th and be 4 weeks and 3 days....but i had my last period 6 weeks ago...im just going crazy....the guy on the 20th is black and i have no idea who he is...but my ex is on the and white...im really lost...my parents want me to get an abortion and i would reaaly soooo ashamed to tell them i dont know who the father is if i kept the baby....they would never forgive me...what would i do about the birth certificate because i will never see the guy from the 20th again

Answer 1

Shame on you for slu**ing like that. We cannot help you because we didn't have sex with you. All I can say is have your baby, and tkae ggod care of him. You don't need the help of a no good man. And if you want the baby to have a father, try DNA testing. This was a mistake but you have to face it. You are grown now and must handle yourself as an adult. You will never forgive yourself if you kill this precious life. I thought of aborting my baby, but now that he is here, I love him and cherish everyday with him. Good luck, get on birth control, and be more careful.

Answer 2

I would wait until your next ultrasound and see if there is a change. Tell your gyno that you had sex on the 7th with one guy and the 20th with another. If those are the only two days that you have had sex with someone in the last month and a half tell your gyno that. If not, own up to your gyno and tell him/her everything. It's the best way to get a better answer.

Personally, I am leaning more towards the guy you had sex with on the 20th. It's closer to the 4 week mark...

Good luck and don't let your parents pressure you into something you can't live with. They aren't the ones that would have to deal with knowing your child is out there....

Also, don't let some o these posters put you down. You made a mistake and know you are responsible for the life inside you. There is no need to bash you. Just please use bc so this doesn't happen to you again, esp condoms so you don't catch a STD. Make sure you tell your gyno that you have had unprotected sex with 2 different people so they can do a STD test to make sure you don't pass anything on to your child.

Answer 3

Here's how the biology for the AVERAGE woman on a TYPICAL month that she gets pregnant works:

Her cycle is measured based on Day 1 being the 1st day her period starts (i.e. 1st day of mences). She will ovulate on Day 14. Given that sperm can live for 7 days, she needs to have sex between Days 7 and 14. Having sex AFTER ovulation won't get her pregnant. By Day 15, the egg is already fertilized and begins to divide and grow. Around Day 20, the baby will implant in the uterus. By Day 28, pregnancy hormones will have reached a level that the typical HPT will give a positive result. At this point, she is 4 weeks pregnant (even though conception only occured 2 weeks ago).

On months when her period is longer or shorter than the typical 28 days, ovulation shifts by as much as her period. So if she is having 30 day periods, then she is ovulating on day 16. If she is having 26 day periods, then she is ovulating on day 12.

When doctors use an ultrasound to guage a babies age, they are using the size of the baby to determine age, and then USUALLY quote the age from the date your last cycle started, assuming a 28 day cycle.

So in your case, if the ultrasound measurments were correct and you are 4 Weeks and 3 days, then you ovulated 17 days ago. To get pregnant, you needed to have had sex 24 to 17 days ago. Given that today is Nov 15, your fertile days were October 22nd to October 29th.

Sometimes doctors quote babies age from date of conception, which should be about equal to the date of ovulation. If this is the case, then you ovulated on October 15th. In that case, your fertile days were October 8th to October 15th.

So as you can see, both sets of calculations place your conception date outside the range of either partner.

So either there are other sexual encounters you are not telling us about or the doctor's measurements were off (which they can be, but usually not that much so early in pregnancy). If the doctor's calculations are off a little bit and there were no other sexual encounters, then you should be able to determine the father based on the measurement the doctor is using. If he is using LMP (last menstral period) and there were no other sexual encounters, then the guy from the 20th is most likely the father. If the doctor is using developmental age (aka fertilization age or conceptional age) and there were no other sexual encounters, then the guy from the 7th is most likely the father.

Answer 4

Well it has happend and there is no need for all these people to judge you. Now you have to deal with it. If you want to have an abortion do so. it is your choice and yours only to make. Abortion is an individual decsion and I disagree with some of the people on here who say that you will never get over it. I had one when I was sixteen because I decided to do it. it was the best move I ever made and never once have I regretted it, so the people saying that you will never get over it are incorrect, it is a personal choice. But with that being said, don't let anyone pressure you to do it. Only you can decide. Sometimes thinking with your head is better than thinking with your heart. Can you provide for this baby on your own? Do you want this baby? These are things you need to ask yourself and be realistic about. You can also look to adoption if you decide you don't want to have the child but don't want an abortion.

Also, your parents may be intially mad that you don't know who the father is, but they will get over it. You are an adult now and you have to act like one and take responsibility. Once you face up to it, you will realize its not that bad and will feel better about telling the truth.

Now if you decide you want this baby, then don't worry about the Birth Certificate. You can get tests done to see who the father is after the baby is born. You are not the first person who didnt know who their baby's father is and you defintely won't be the last, but now you know the reprocussions and I am sure you will know better in the future. Good luck and remember this is your decsion, no one elses.

Answer 5

Truth be told, in your situation, I would get an abortion. If you are having sex with random men, are 18, and obviously not being safe enough, than maybe you are not ready for a baby.
IF you want to keep the baby and are not sure about the father, you can stay quiet about it, until the baby is born and then wait and see, or tell your ex the truth (I wouldnt), or go on the Maury Povich show to do a DNA test. Either way honey, you're a little screwed. If you are a little brave, you will do what is right, and just come clean about it. That baby deserves to be born in an honest environment. Besides your family will get over it, no one can resist a baby.

Answer 6

Im kinda confused myself here b/c that would put conception around the 29th and I have never heard of sperm living that long but anyways, either way whoever is the father, the question is do YOU want this baby? Even if you did know who the father was, neither of them are in your life right now as a stable relationship so who is to say they want anything to do with a baby in the first place. You are this baby's mother and you are an adult now. This decison is yours, are YOU ready to take on parenthood? I was 18 when I had my daughter, I'm not telling you it's a walk in the park but if your baby means anything to you then you will make the right decision. Race has nothing to do with this and your parents, this is about a baby now. I am sure your parents will understand and like I said who is to say the "father" wants anything to do with a child anyways, it sounds like they were just "booty calls" anyways.

Answer 7

Dont listen to the people who says have a abortion. You had the sex now have the child. Who cares who the baby father is right now. Just have the baby and do the test later. Mixed kids are cute dont worry! You need to stop sleeping around without protection and if you must USE PROTECTION. I will not judge you because i dont have the right and guess what im no angle myself!!! Now its not about your parent nor the baby daddy its about that Dam*n baby ok. Get over the fact about who its for and start eating healthy and living right. Congrats you know how many people with they had or can have a baby plenty. If you decide after birth you dont want the child adoption is a good choice ok. Sweetie dont worry so much

Answer 8

well i have your conception around the 17th of october (could have been the 20th too) but that would put you at around 6 weeks 1 day today (if your doctor is counting by fetal age then that would be about 4 weeks . if you ovulated early and conceived on the 7th of october that would put you around 7 weeks 4 days, or 5 weeks 4 days fetal age. im gonna bet that the one night stand is the baby's dad.

Answer 9

It could be either of them, honestly. Those measurements aren't exact. They're based on the size of the baby, but he could be a little smaller than "average", making the baby your ex's, or he could be a little larger than "averag", making it the other guys. I'd just wait and see. If the baby comes otu white as rice, you'll have your answer. If the baby comes out dark, you'll have your answer, The court systems will help you find the father, with testing and with tracking them down so you get child support. I'd suggest medicaid, and some parenting classes. Best of luck to you darling.

Answer 10

Don't do anything. Depending on where you live, you might not be required to put a father on the birth certificate. Just tell your parents that you would rather not put it on there. Or since you decided to take on the responsibility of getting pregnant, you shouldn't have to tell them anything. And don't have an abortion just because someone will be upset with you for the mistakes you have made. I think you'll just make another one.

Good luck!

Answer 11

Since you are only fertile during a 5 week span during your cycle it would have to be the guy on the 20th. On the last day of your period it is very very unlikely that you could have gotten pregnant.