my husband and i have been married 9 months. i still have my friends that ive had since highschool (which are single and still kinda immature) and hubby has his friend (who is also younger and single) when we hang out with our friends (me with mine and him with his) our friends wanna go do "single" stuff and its pretty boring to me and my husband..so i figure maybe..we should just try to find friends who are married so we can hang out with our friends together. have you ever had that problem?
2007-11-15 06:22:51 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am the first to get married out of all of all of my girlfriends. I had the same problem for a while. I would hang out with my girlfriends and I would be so bored because we as married women do not have the same problems as single women, so after a while I just stop going out with them. We are still friends but I find I have more fun hanging out with my husband and other couples.
2007-11-15 06:35:53 · answer #1 · answered by annita g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One, there is no great way to meet other married couples. And meeting them doesn't ensure you want to be friends with them. My husband and i have a ton of trouble meeting couples that meet our needs for friendship. Most either hate each other, are drunks, are drug addicts or smoke like chimneys. None of which we can stand. A great place to start is go to the park and see if you can meet other mom's there while giving the kids a nice day out. Go to school functions and hob nob afterwards and get to know other parents at the school. The hard part for my husband and i are that we raised our kid already and many of our friends are just now deciding to have kids. We don't love little kids anymore and finally have the items we want in our house that we didn't have while raising a big football son. People get that your kids and family come first, but when it's every single time than it seems you are making no effort for a friendship either. There has to be a balance. And as someone who raised their kid... balance is very important. Finding time for you would make you a better mom because you'd be more relaxed and have less stress. If you are only about the kids and not about any other relationship at all, then all other relationships will fail. Many couples split up after the kids are grown because they realize they put all into the kids and nothing into the marriage and there was nothing left for years on end. Without the kids to raise, there was nothing and no point in remaining. Making time for friendships is also important. One day your kids will leave and leave you to yourself. The only person you'll have then is you and no one else. No friends to help you through the rough empty nest syndrome that comes by. No husband who cares how you feel. No friends to do anything with you when your kids are to busy to even return your phone calls for weeks at a time. Go find some empty nesters sites and see how their life is now that they put everything onto their kids and have nothing left for themselves. Might be time to put a stop to so many of the endeavors you've got going and go back to finding time for your friends, spouse and yourself.
2016-04-04 02:55:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep! The thing is is that with your friends who are still single, they want to do single girl/guy things that may not be okay for someone who is married. They gonna be checking out people and behaving not as a responsible mature person in a committment. You have to use wisdom and judgment on this issue. Are your other married friends mature and respectable to each other and faithful too? Otherwise friends can wreck a marriage if they know too much of your personal business. Again , common sense must be applied.
2007-11-15 06:34:17 · answer #3 · answered by GI Jane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm married and I have a girlfriend or two that are still single. It's hard sometimes because they want to go out to bars and go dancing and that's not really my scene anymore. Lets face it, they do it to meet people and I don't need that. I have my man.
He has a few friends that aren't married as well and it seems they mostly want to play video games. He's told me many times that he doesn't want to go over sometimes because they're so immature.
I don't know. The nice thing is that we also have a ton of married friends who were our friends before they got married. There's a big difference in your maturity level when your married and it's hard to hang out with singles who still haven't reached that maturity level. I would say to keep your single friends, but also try to find married friends through work or school to hang out with as well.
2007-11-15 06:30:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not that way all the time but I definitely understand where you're coming from. Your single friends want to be "single"-look for people of the opposite sex etc. Hanging out with other married couples is nice, you have a lot in common. I wouldn't forget about your other friends though.
2007-11-15 06:31:30 · answer #5 · answered by SorryI'maChampion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, by all means.
The old saying goes, "Birds of a feather flock together". And of course the old movie of the Mighty Ducks, "Ducks fly together!"
When married couples, espcially individually, have single friends, it is a very high ratio that the single individual brings a lot of unhealthy things from temptation to unhealthy independent activities and attitudes.
While there are always exceptions to the rule and everyone cannot be classified in this one category, the main consensus among strong and healthy married couples is that it presents unhealthy potential behaviour patterns and an open door for unnecessary troubles to continue deep friendships with single people if you are married.
Make it work!
2007-11-15 06:34:54 · answer #6 · answered by splashdesign238 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
During my first marriage all our friends were other married couples. We just had more in common with them than we did with single people who still wanted to go clubbing all the time. We just did our partying at home with other married couples or went to parties at their houses. Try to meet some other married couples maybe in your neighborhood. You can gradually make new friends. I'm not suggesting you totally dump your single friends, but just increase the new ones.
2007-11-15 06:28:50 · answer #7 · answered by makeloans2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are things you can do that aren't "single" stuff, like movies, plays, concerts, whatever, with your single friends. You can do those things with your friends. You can hang out with married people at other times.
2007-11-15 06:31:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No i haven't gotten that problem because I'm not married. But i would say that you do need more friends, some that are married. That way you guys have more in common with the other couple
2007-11-15 06:28:15 · answer #9 · answered by 2qt4u 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutly. You are in another phase of life now and the stuff that your friends do now you have been long over it. You have basically outgrown your friends.
Finding young married couples such as yoruself is the solution to the problem. Is fun to find friends who you you can relate to and do things that are marriage like, and that it doesn;t involve babysitting your single friends in bars.
Good luck
2007-11-15 06:28:12 · answer #10 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋