Been married 2 years and she had a 6 month affair. Broke my heart in pieces but she wants to get back. Do you think she can change? We are in our mid-30's. Thanks.
2007-11-15 05:38:04 · 23 answers · asked by Mike 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The first years of marriage are always the hardest. It is tough to get yourself adjusted. But the fact is, if you love her deeply enough, and if you could find it in your heart to forgive her, then you will be able to forgive her and move on with your life.
Ultimately the decision lies with you.
I pray that you make the right choice.
2007-11-15 05:45:27 · answer #1 · answered by Aleckii 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, your in your mid 30's so you already know what it is you did wrong in your relationship.
It takes two people to mess things up. If she cheated she was lacking something from you. If you didn't notice an affair and it lasted so long think about what that says in itself. Do you usually ignore her or what she does? Do you care?
A partnership consist of two people who care about eachother, know eachothers secrets, are best friends, that's the secret to a marriage not afreakin piece of paper.
If she cheated, will she do it again? Who knows? that shouldn't be the issue, the question is what did I not provide on my part in the relationship?
How did I change, because we all know we are not the same people we were before marriage, somehow we all become retarted after the paper gets handed to us, we all forget the details in a relationship.
On her part, she doesn't trust you. Tha'ts the trust, your not her friend.Your not there for her and she feels she is missing something from you.If she did she would have been able to tell you the first time she met him " babe, i found myself attracted to someone and I think we need to talk" that would have been the open door to a good communication.
stop thinking with your ego, if a man cheats we automaticlly say the same thing but sorry ladies we lack in many things ourselves. We shut them out, we dont trust them at all and we put our "girlfriends" before him that closes all communication, you hold grudges too. Why all because some idiot friend gave you advice.
If you want to be part of the major divorce statisitc in the world divorce her and move on but remember the problem will follow you because you have the issue. THe next wife will now have a man who won't trust her, hides things and will question everything she does and he'll lose a good thing.
People make mistakes, we either move on and figure out the problem or we continue the pattern and damage more people.
In the end, you are the only one who can make the decision if she's going to cheat again or if your goign to find the next women you will be a victim to.
you know!
Either way good luck, go to counseling if you can talk it over and if nothing comes from it part and say thank you, because i promise your going to learn something amazing about yourself.
2007-11-15 06:10:55 · answer #2 · answered by Gitana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I will make this simple. You can learn the hard way if you want.
Should you take her back? No. Not unless you want to endure the hurt all over again.
Will she cheat again? Yes. You had better believe that she will. And you think your heart is broke now. See how you feel the next time. It is not good.
She is not going to change. Trust me. It is time to move on.
If you go back with her, you are setting yourself up for disaster.
Don't let yourself be treated like this. She does not deserve you, and don't believe anything she says.
I have known a lot of cases like this, and have never seen the cheating spouse turn things around.
Good luck to you.
2007-11-15 06:31:15 · answer #3 · answered by madcat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only been married 2 years? Wow, that seems quick to have an affair after only 18 months. Neither I, nor anyone on in this group can tell you for sure if your wife will cheat again or not.
You still have a mess to go through and only the two of you will decide if you want to keep this marriage.
Good luck.
2007-11-15 05:55:04 · answer #4 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First ask yourself this question. "If I cheated would I want her to forgive me?" If the answer is yes than you should give her another chance. Let her know that if there is a next time you will not forgive. Also figure out why she had the affair. Remeber it take two people to make a marriage and two people to break a marriage. I would also suggest marriage counseling as well as a fun activity that you could do together.
2007-11-15 05:50:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two years is long enough to understand each other,and six months is long enough for an extra affair.The Axe has gone deeper into the roots of your marriage.Taking her back depends on how you love her:but remember that there is a mountain to level before you could settle down with her.Then give her what she wants from other men__I mean enough!
2007-11-15 06:28:46 · answer #6 · answered by g kimpak 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your messages definitely helped me through my breakup. About a year and a half ago my lover of four years and I broke up and I desperately wanted ex back, and because of some of the advice you had given, I was able to! Time went on and things were back to the way they were, and were not together anymore, and it’s okay. I wouldn’t have been able to go through the realization process had I not read these, as well. Your messages were very beneficial to me, though I don’t need them anymore, they were always appreciated. Thank you so much.
2015-02-09 07:51:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm leaning towards no,,since,,she cheated for such a long time,,and so early in your relationship,,i say life's too short to put up with a cheater,,let her go on about her life and to the next doormat guy,,but,,if you love her that much and you want to be with her,,then give her another chance and if she does it again,,well,,then that should be a deal breaker,,,hey Mike,,even your avatar is undercover,,i don't think she's gonna know your here,,haha
2007-11-15 05:49:51 · answer #8 · answered by lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the only person that can answer this question on the entire earth.
You will never be able to trust her again, that's for sure. 6 months is along term betrayal. It's not like she got drunk and hooked up one night. She dug this guy.
2007-11-15 05:44:36 · answer #9 · answered by kirk m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't focus on her. Focus on yourself for now. Make sure that you are able to heal and forgive, without the consideration of whether you will get back together. If she is sincere she will understand that you have to repair the damage she has done and wait out the process. If she is not willing to allow that healing process, then she has answered your question.
Best of luck to you.
2007-11-15 05:47:22 · answer #10 · answered by eracism 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋