Why is This So Scary?

Question

i want to leave my husband, but I'm scared of being on my own and being forced to take care of the bills for the first time and also be a single mom. What should I do - how do I go about getting a divorce?

Answer 1

Is the marriage bad for him too? Does he know how you feel? The best way to get a divorce is mediation, assuming he is willing to pay child support and continue being a father. The first step is talking to him.

Answer 2

Perhaps you know someone who has been through this and can get some advice from them. Otherwise, find a good family attorney who offers a free initial consultation and ask them what the proper steps are. I have been married once and that marriage ended in divorce. I know the fear you are experiencing and I want to let you know that it will all turn out well if you have honest motives and intentions. If your husband is physically harming you or the child in any way, go to the authorities and have a restraining order put against him. This will physically remove him from the home and calm the situation. Then I advise you to immediately change all the locks on the doors. If this is a divorce that can be handled orderly and without incident, I recommend everybody get along and finish this quickly. Some lawyers like to drag these things out because they are paid by the hour. Divorce, especially with children is complicated and I advise you to get an attorney and discuss alimony, child support and visitation agreements. You do not say if you are currently employed outside of the home. If not, you will need to find employment quickly. Keep in mind that during the divorce proceedings, whoever lives in the home cannot keep the other person out Unless ordered by the court. Even if you change the locks, he is still part owner of the home and can come and go as he pleases. That is why it is important in cases of physical abuse to get an order of protection. Once that order is in place, he is not allowed entry into the home for any reason. I hope this goes well for you, try and resist the urge to "Stick it" to your ex. If everyone is civil and fair in their dealings, the lawyers will finish sooner and save both of you money. Good luck to you and stop worrying, you will find out living on your own is not as scary as you once thought.

Answer 3

Anytime that you have to make a big decision like that, it's scary. But ask yourself what's scarier, leaving and going through hard times for a while en route to your goal or staying in it indefinitely and never being happy? It will be hard and you will go through many times where you feel like you can't do it, but you can if you just take it one step at a time and realize that there are people that do this every day. Are they better than you? No, they figured it out one day at a time just like you will. Start by talking to a lwayer, just to get your options and what the process is in your state. Then start to formulate a plan. Best wishes.

Answer 4

It all depends on the reasons you have decided to end the marriage. If he hits you yes you must go. If you are just having second thoughts about the marriage youmay want to try some therapy. Things change after children arrive. I would try and work this out before going right to the plan B divorce option.

Answer 5

You do not really explain why you want to leave your husband
have you tried everything to work things out counselling, therapy, medication?. Really divorce is the last resort marriage is suppose to be for life.

Answer 6

Its hard but once you make this choice its like cutting cheesecake that is baked !!!! Go have a piece ... think hard ...Can you laugh with him ? Can you feel good with him ? Do you really miss him? Does he care for your needs ? Do you trust him with your life ? Is he there to help you and give it graciously? Does he expect? Does he TRY to understand you and STAND with you ? Is HE always in your thoughts? Ask these questions ....If you love him they will be what you do and more importantly what he does for you.