I have been living with my girlfreind for almost 2 yrs. Everything is perfect, except we hardly ever have sex. Almost every time i try she denies me.If its in the morning "its too early" if its at night she is "tired". She always promises me we can do it the next day but then when its time she has another reason why not to do it. I know she loves me and I love her but this is really bad. I try to talk to her and she gets angry. I have never heard of this. Am I being selfish for thinking about ending our almost perfect relationship over this?
2007-11-15 04:46:34 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That is true I feel as though she is like my best freind. Not my girlfreind.
2007-11-15 04:59:48 · update #1
No. Sex is part of a relationship.
You need to consider options.
Is she not arroused.
Is she sick??
Does she have low esteem?
Are you rushing into it?
Is it boring?
2007-11-15 04:49:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's not uncommon and no it is not selfish to end your relationship over it. You should end it because it will most likely lead to you cheating because what the heck else can you do? I seriously don't care what anyone else tries to put in your head. People get involved too seriously, too young and it's hard enough when it's better circumstances than this to make it work. You are better than that. I am currently in a situation that is opposite because even though I am very sexual, I am not respected if I am sick or tired (and I'm pregnant but don't even use that as an excuse). Anyway, point is, respect yourself and if someone is not willing to compromise in the relationship then, first of all, that sucks, and second of all, it shouldn't come down to a "compromise". If she loved you it would be in her heart. Find a best friend/roommate and you will have what you have with her.
2007-11-15 12:52:18 · answer #2 · answered by echo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first person who responded to this question said "Marry her!" Hell, if you do that, you will get it even less than your getting it now, trust me Lol!
This is kind of a messed up situation. The only thing I can advise is that you backtrack and think of what exactly it was, you were doing before she started denying you sex. I'm sure there was a point in time, where you guys were doing it more than you are now. What has changed since then. If she's going through some personal issues (stress, lack of enthusiasm for sex, low libido, just flat out bored with it), then you need to address those issues straight up, and if she is unwilling to communicate and refuses to talk about what is making you happy, and may ultimately become the demise of your relationship, then perhaps you do need to explore other options. Best wishes to you and your girl.
-Knowledge24
2007-11-15 12:56:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're being selfish about wanting to have sex with the woman you love, but maybe there are other areas you need to work on. She may be subconsciously denying sex as a way to punish you for other things you do or don't do that upset her. If that's the case, you need to talk, and if she won't talk to you to your face, get a counselor involved.
If, on the other hand, she simply isn't interested in sex, isn't particularly attracted to you, or wants different things from sex (assuming you can't give her what she wants), you should consider ending the relationship.
2007-11-15 12:51:31 · answer #4 · answered by Karsten S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She wants a big shiny ring and a wedding she is trying to get you to propose by not letting you have any. She feels quilty for having sex prior to marriage. The only way this is going to change is to propose make an honest woman of your GF it's been 2yrs so just go for it.
Just make sure she is the one if you have only been with her for the sex then do not marry her it will end in divorce. If you have felt that bond that you could not live without her in your life and picture her as the mother to your children and she makes you feel whole then it is time to pop the question.
2007-11-15 12:53:55 · answer #5 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure that you are able to satisfy her sexually and that she doesn't want to embarrass you? I have been with my bf for the same amount of time and we are at kind of the same point. I had to explain to him that he had to turn me on, not just ask for it. Make it worth her while and not just a chore. Watch some movies for new ideas or different positions. Maybe she is uncomfortable with herself and doesn't know how to verbally explain. You have to make things interesting or you get bored. How do you think people stay married for years? Also, communication is key. If she can't open up when you are being genuinly curious or want to know how to change, the relationship won't grow. It takes two to tango and two people to make a relationship work. You can't do it all by yourself, but at least if she sees you making a definate effort to make things interesting maybe she will be more open and inclined.
2007-11-15 12:54:28 · answer #6 · answered by ladyrenegade81 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not being selfish at all. How can you enter into a commitment with her is she is only willing to commit part of herself to you. This is not only unhealthy is will lead to someone having an affair under the right circumstances...that someone will probably be you and understandably so. If she is not willing to talk or work on this than I think I would consider ending it before you have to pay to get out...
And women wonder why their men cheat...HELLO!@!
2007-11-15 12:59:53 · answer #7 · answered by tinc 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should first think about whether you've probably spent alog time having sex, that she may have just gone off sex. OR seriously think about whether there is an underlying reason which is th reason why she doesnt want it, like maybe she likes someone else and your just not seeing that, (it could be an option, which you may be in denial about), Or maybe u need to try wooing and try romantic gestures because the spark is no longer there before asking her to make love, whatever the reason, you need to think hard because most probably YOU HAVE THE ANWSER, as you know your relationship best.
hope iv been useful
2007-11-15 12:53:44 · answer #8 · answered by tiny tan 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about it. Sex is an important part in a relationship so I'd say the best way to go is to talk about it. There could be something missing or maybe she may not be completely satisfied. She seems to be making up excuses and there could be a reason to that.
2007-11-15 12:52:05 · answer #9 · answered by Erica 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Too soon to end it for this. Take her away for a night or two. Relax, shop, eat, talk and get back to the room early. If you still cannot get it going that night or the next morning, it would be time for a non-threatening, non-judgemental talk. Start with "When we don't make love it makes me feel...". Good luck.
2007-11-15 12:52:05 · answer #10 · answered by just_me_in_md 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it is as she says it is - she's too tired. Does she have a demanding job or does she have to work fulltime and then come home to a load of housework? Does she have children?
Perhaps you could arrange for her to have a bit of time to herself, say, a nice massage/facial/manicure/hairdo whatever. Or perhaps you could cook her a nice meal, bottle of wine, bunch of flowers....
Or surprise her with a weekend away or something together like a walk in the park. It doesn't have to cost much. Maybe do something romantic like make a CD of your songs or a photoalbum of you together to remind her of good times.
When she's more relaxed and she's touched by your romantic gestures, she'll be putty in your hands......
2007-11-15 12:54:12 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋