I'm in love with this guy who just so happens to be married. He's been separated from his wife for four years and they live in different states, They have one child together. He's everything I've always wanted in a man, because of his religion he doesn't believe that he can divorce his wife unless she cheats on him(commits adultery). He says he's in love with me also we spend a great deal of time together hanging out going to dinner and a movie or I would cook for him. We spend time at each others place he loves my kids they interact wonderfully with each other. Theres no sexual relationship but we did kiss several time. We attend the same church. Am I destined for heart break?
2007-11-15 04:05:24 · 13 answers · asked by marjb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is committing adultery, does that count?
2007-11-15 04:15:09 · answer #1 · answered by Betty 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wait, you said you both attend the same church? STOP SIGN! You both are blatantly committing fornication and he is committing adultery for the simple fact that he is STILL MARRIED, hello? His wife has first dibs, period. Is this guy in the military? You both are living in a fools paradise. If you hook up with this guy, and lets say he divorces his wife, don't you think when he gets tired with you he's gonna do it again? Why did you pursue a married man and disrespect yourself? There aren't enough single guys out there where you got to play the home wrecker? Does his wife know about you? She can sue him on grounds of neglect and alienation of affection on his part due to his marriage because marriage is a contract, and he broke his contract with his wife, simple as that. His wife can legally wipe him dry if she chose to go the legal route. Technically, the judge would side with the wife and children and lean to her side, by law. So you ask the question, are you destined for heartbreak? Not only are you destined for heartbreak, but how do you know if his wife not only will get insanely jealous and attack you and your children physically? Danger! Danger! Look before you leap!!
2007-11-15 04:30:52 · answer #2 · answered by GI Jane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are setting yourself up...4 yours maybe b/c she may get allot out of him in the divorce and that's why he isn't signing paper's. It sometimes cheaper to keep her while your still doing your own thing! So sweetie if he won't commit to you or get a divorce is esier to let him go before you get into deep. he is playing his part and for 4 years do you really think she hasn't committed adultery already? I'm sorry but i couldn't go 4 yrs w/o some kind of sex and neither can he, so the minute he has sex with you, he has committed the ultimate deception to both you and his wife!
2007-11-15 04:18:00 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For him to have a relationship with you even though there is only kissing involved seems to me kind of strange. He cannot divorce because of religionist reasons and is only waiting for his wife to commit adultery and she hasn't in 4 years?? Yet he has no qualms about kissing you even though he is still married to her? It sounds to me as if he is still devoted in his heart to his wife and is spending time with you until they can reconcile. If you wish to spend forever waiting around for him to get a divorce from his wife, then do so, if you do not, then my advice to you will be to move on. I feel you are destined for heart break.
2007-11-15 04:22:14 · answer #4 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just my thought here but, the guy is married, you should know better than this, a heart break,..... yes it's a matter of time. Separated and in different states, it's still wrong, if he was divorced that a different story.
2007-11-15 04:11:29 · answer #5 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell again, what religion won't let you divorce unless the wife commits adultery?
he's so feeding you a line and you are loving every little morsel of it.
hello! isn't all that he's doing with you count up to adultery?
get your kids and yourself out of there! he's not telling you the whole story (obviously). and even if he does now, you surely would not like it.
2007-11-15 04:16:16 · answer #6 · answered by celticbuddha 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think it depends of a few things. Firstly if he's not willing to get a divorce is he still willing to take things further i.e. move in together or have a sexual relationship. If not then i think you may be hurt if you continue this relationship.
If he is still willing to take things further just not have a divorce, you need to ask yourself how important marriage is to you and your religion. If it is then again you may be hurt.
I think you should talk things over and decide how you both feel
Hope this helps :)
2007-11-15 04:18:23 · answer #7 · answered by shiv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are. You are allowing him to just stay in this rut he has dug himself into. If his wife and his mistress don't press for a change, why should he do the work to get his life in order? Let him go so he (and yourself, by the way) can move on. If he loves you after he straightens out his life, then maybe he can come back into yours.
2007-11-15 04:14:11 · answer #8 · answered by just_me_in_md 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why hasn't he asked the church if they can divorce? It is obviously not going to work out they have been apart for 4 yrs the elders should let him get divorced
2007-11-15 04:17:07 · answer #9 · answered by ღKrissyღ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be a deadend if he can't get a divorce. Sex after the kissing might spruce it up a bit.
2007-11-15 04:10:11 · answer #10 · answered by CHARGER BLUE 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋