I am married but want to go to US with my family,a friend is willing to help me get to US but want to bed me.?

Question

I had gone to US on a visiting visa and left my husband and 2 sons here in India.On reaching US I realised that this guy had hots for me.I fled and all hopes for me to work in US shattered.Now again he has said he will help me if I am willling to have an affair with him.i will be able to take my sons there and work there.Should I betray my husband who has been an alcoholic for the last 19 years.I have struggled all these years to lead a normal life and give the best I can to my children.
He wants to take me out of the rut but for a price -an affair.He too is married with 3 college going children.

Answer 1

Is this person working for the US immigration department that he will be help you in getting PR for USA? As far going to USA for any purpose & getting a valid visa for it requires certain conditions to be fulfilled, without which a person can get this permission even if such a person is related to any US immigration employee . If your qualifications & job eligibilities provides that you are eligible to get any form of employment visa in 'H' category, you need not bother taking help of any person, but if you do not posses the required qualifications for this even if you know any person working in the immigration department won't help you get this type of visa. It’s not like India that any one may walk in & continue staying here illegally, all though now the Indian government has started taking very strict action against the illegal immigrant. As far blaming your husband to be an alcoholic & you are struggling for all these years to lead a normal life for 19 years is most common ground which any woman who otherwise is cheating on her husband or thinks of cheating for her own sexual pleasure makes. No family court will agree with your this plea that you had suffered for 19 years with this person but never complaint through out this period for such harassment or suffering, but after 19years of your stay with him, when you are being approached by another man who happens to be married too, just for the sexual pleasure in both your mind, the plea of husband is alcoholic & you are unable to lead a normal marital life with him can not be considered. What I find in this forum relating to family affairs, the spouses are unable to express their personal feeling amongst themselves, they have certain imagination regarding their sexual priorities which they want to share with their spouse, but for some hitch they fail to tell this to their spouse. If this happens in spouses having being married for such a long period of time as in your case, this personal matter ultimately becomes public, which makes thing worse. Only last evening one of my very close friend married for last 18years expressed his sexual desire which his wife is unable to fulfill. This personal bedroom talks between the couples should not be made public but should be discussed between them. In case they find it difficult to adjust then, let a help of some medical professional be taken. In your case I see no reason for you to fly in high air just for what this man told you regarding US immigration, rather get in contact with the US embassy counselor who will be able to tell you if you are really eligible for US immigration for any reasons or not legally, if you are eligible then follow the process provided for this rather being mislead by false promise by any person just for sexual gratification.

Answer 2

People like you have ruined the culture. What the hell you want to give your children by going to US. if you have so much money and talent to afford to go to US, then why you want to snatch the friend circle and lively life of your children and remember one thing, our country is our own only and even if you serve and remain in US or any other foriegn country for life, you would still remain an outsider. Live a natural life in your own country. BECAUSE PAYING SUCH A HEAVY PRICE FOR ACQUIRING A FALSE STATUS IS FATAL. your friend will not spare you ever if you succumbed to his demand and will treat you like a 'KEEP' for the whole life and will make your life miserable and even more horrible than you feel with your husband.... TAKE CARE... YOUR so callled friend can even make you live a life of a call girl/woman for his personal gains... AND there will be no one in the US to help you from his clutches...

Answer 3

I wouldn't leave your husband for a cheating husband. I would leave your husband b/c of the alcoholic problems. There is always other way of coming to America if you are willing to work hard for it. Personally, I don't see why. America is beginning to fall apart b/c of stupid politicians that blame it on other countries and military personal. Ironically the policital parties have some control on what the military personal do. I love America, but hate how the leaders are acting. Your best bet is do what you think it right! Just don't go to the married man.

Answer 4

If your husband is an alcoholic means he barely or doesn't support the family, first leave him(divorce), second the other man just want to take advantage of you, there are plenty of good willing people out there, try to find a decent one.
This affair doesn't come with insurance that he will help you, there is also a chance that you might affect the other members of his family who has nothing to do with it.

Hope you succeed, "remember to look before you jump".

Answer 5

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NNOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
please don't do that, if i was on your place
i will get agree to go out with him not because i want to have an affair or better lifestyle or i want to teach lesson to my alcoholic husband... NOOOOO that’s NOT the reason
the reason i will got out with him is to teach that guy a lesson that don't take advantage of anybody’s Crisis . But I WOULD MAKE SURE I WON’T FORGET TO CALL HIS WIFE AND THREE CHILDERN OVER TO SHOW THEM THEIR DAD IS F*u*KING BASTARD.
HOW HE IS Taking ADVANTAGE OF somebody Bad time (crisis).

By teaching him a lesson you will save a lot of other women life too (who know how many times he did this to his other women employees) just set up good example for other women.



People who respect themselves they get respect from other as well. If you can respect yourself then is hard to accomplish anything in life. humans are another story!!! Even God won’t help them either.


And as far as your husbands concern he is a loser and he will learn his lesson from God some how.
You deserves much better man in your life and you will get that someday (not some one alcoholic or that as*h0le u mention)
Goodluck
Don’t forget to teach his lesson though or make a vedio or record his voice and go don't tell anybody though just go straight to police.

its America not india don't let anybody fool you !!! don't be afraid to Stand for yourself ...

Answer 6

The first priority for any person is their selfrespect,moral values which makes a person, humanbeing.I know many people whose condition r worst but still they never compromise with their values.They fight till the end of their life.So what if they don't live luxirious life.Pls don't do this,what messge u will give to ur children.Now it's up to u,which path u will choose.But remember u can earn money at any time,but if u loose ur self respect at once it will never come back.

Answer 7

This is a problem you have to solve yourself.Are
you so cowardly that you want somebody else to blame in case the affair doesn't turn out well?
Be brave and decide whether you want to put out and go to the US and take your chances or
stay back.In any case your alcoholic spouse is
still your problem if you a) don't take steps to divorce him or b)decide to support his habit or
c)get him into the AA.

Answer 8

No to the affair. I you are not in love with your husband, then you should file for a divorce. If you are still in love with your husband, then you should force him to sober up in some way. You should do whatever it takes to hold him close. Now, if he refuses, and his love is not strong for you, then divorce should be the only option prior to any b/s affairs. Affairs are wrong in all aspects and are not acceptable. The man who is willing to help sounds like bad news and should be avoided at all costs. If you love is strong, save your marriage and good things shall happen. Karma can be cruel if you stray.

Answer 9

Once you can get job in US , why cant you take up some job in India. Why do you have the craze of going to US? I think as you husband is alcoholic, you are sexually unsatisfied female. You might be searching for some deep pocket.
If no, then divorce your present husband and take up some job in India and look after the education and future of your children here itself. You can still select individuals from Shadi.com or give matrimonial add to get yourself remarried under the law. I cant understand whats the need of tearing your clothes in US.
I think, you might have already given him the pleasure, and fellow doesnot want to forget you. You females are quite sedative..................GOD help you..

Answer 10

You are starting your usual GAMES again, this time in US.You must just tell your husband that it's over because of his drinking and you found a new lover in US.
But this is strange,after 19 years.This really confirms that you have been playing GAMES all along.Anyway you are a human being,you know what you are missing.
Just take your kids,give that guy what he wants and you will be happy.BE CAREFUL of his WIFE.

Answer 11

Don't be a homewrecking ****. Have some damn pride. If you want to make a better life for yourself find a way to come this country on your own. Get a job and pay taxes. Don't come here to mooch off the system. Otherwise stay where you are. My tax dollars can't support any more illegal immigrants on welfare.