Why do a lot of people think that all blacks call each other the n-word?

Question

Do people based their opinions of black people by listening to rap music? Just wanted to let sheltered people know that not all black people use the term and not all of us are concerned about it either.

Answer 1

Some people think that way because they're that damned ignorant. (But I hope that you recognize the fact that there are people who claim to think as such but actually know better and don't want to acknowledge the truth. And I hope you also realize that there are many of us who do NOT think as such.)

Those of us who exercise our common sense realize that not all black people say the ''n word''.

Yes, there are folks who base their opinions of black people upon rap music. Likewise, there are some folks who base their opinions of black people upon what they assume to be "black programming".

Additionally, there are people who are "sheltered", as you said, who just don't know any better simply because they haven't been exposed to people who aren't of their own culture(s).

I would like to say that I make no assumptions regarding the "n word", and I wish that others would do the same. There are many varying opinions on both "sides".

To comment on what another user said- Blacks didn't change the "n word". To say as such goes against what the very same user said about judging all blacks by the same standards.... Since not all blacks have the same opinion then I think it to be rather silly to claim that blacks as a whole changed the "n word" or anything else.
Likewise, "changing" the "n word" did NOT "work" just because some blacks say it without getting offended. Common sense dictates that people can become offended without any specific group declaring that meanings/definitions have changed. And if, in fact, blacks had successfully changed the meaning of the ''n word'' then that meaning would apply to ANYONE- regardless of the speaker(s). (Therefore, no one would become offended regardless of so-called "race".)

And, by the way, I know that black people saying "n word" does NOT necessarily mean "stupid" or any of the like (at least not ALWAYS). I can't speak for anyone else, but the black people in my area generally say "n word" as referring to whomever they are talking about (YES, it COULD be a stupid person, but it could also be a reference to brother or a friend or just another person).

Furthermore, I am very well aware of why SOME blacks refer to each other as "n word". And I really do wish that people would recognize that it's just that- A MATTER OF *SOME* OR EVEN *MANY* BUT NOT BLACKS AS A WHOLE. Damn, I'll never understand why there are people who claim to speak for entire groups and then gripe when others attempt to speak for those very same groups!

Additionally, I am MORE THAN AWARE that there is a "black" culture. But there is a huge difference between culture and so-called "race". Who is anyone to determine that I (or anyone else) isn't a part of a culture? And please don't claim that this isn't an issue, because IT IS. A person can be whiter than white, so to speak, and be a member of black culture. This is one of the problems regarding this issue.... People can be "culturally black". Anyone get my "drift"?


Oh, and another thing.... I know that anyone has the ability to say the "n word". Who in the world doesn't know that? I don't think that's what people mean when they ask, "Is it ok....?" DUH, we all have vocal cords which aren't inhibited by anything other than our own mouths. DUH, DUH, DUH!


And, by the way, someone mentioned physical retaliation if a white person were to say "n word" in his presence..... And my response is this: People are constantly making a point to say that we should accept consequences. Ok. I agree. We most certainly SHOULD accept the consequences of our actions. HOWEVER, physically accosting someone is NEVER excusable. I hope that no one ever tolerates physical altercations. I know that *I* won't. I'm not an idiot who will say absolutely ANYTHING to ANYONE, but I will NOT bite my tongue in private conversations regardless of where I am. That's MY business, and GOD HELP WHOMEVER CROSSES MY HUSBAND BY DOING SOMETHING TO ME. But, even if it were not for my husband, I would employ the law to take care of such a situation (just as I hope anyone else would).

This is a ridiculous argument. And I'm going to post my answer to other "n word" related questions rather than continuing to be so long-winded....


This is my former post:

It's silly and pointless that people argue about this- if for nothing else other than that there are so many issues of much greater importance (in my humble opinion). Of course, I'd be a hypocrite if I claimed to have never debated with anyone about the matter. (Although, I've only done so on line since I've never been confronted with it in any other forum- Black people where I live are generally not offended when white people use the "n word". The extent of my hearing about this issue has only involved the Internet and television.)

I grew up primarily around black people. Most of my friends were/are black. All of my romantic relationships have been with black males. And my husband is black. But, of course, I still had/have ties to white people. In my opinion, to a certain extent, this has put me in the position to see things from both "sides". So I truly do understand many of the points that a lot of black people make when they object to white people using the "n word". I just happen to disagree with them.

From my perspective, one of the problems with regards to using the "n word" is miscommunication. I think there are white people who assume that black people (or rather the black people who use the "n word") want to speak the word as a way of asserting dominance or control. And I think there are black people who assume that white people who speak the "n word" (or ask questions about it) are doing so because they feel some overwhelming need to say it (like how kids argue, "If you can do it, so can I.").

Well, the above does apply to SOME people. And there are probably people who have been told all sorts of things by others. And, as a result, they assume that everyone else is of the same opinions. This is where we're going wrong. We're getting our wires crossed and misunderstanding each other.

As a white person who has spent enough time around white people to know, I can attest to the fact that there are many white people who do say it in the same contexts as the black people who say it. No, they are not coming from the exact same place... But they do say it within the same contexts: making references to a brother, a friend, just another person, and so on... There are a few reasons for this. And while one of them (reasons) is a matter of trying to be "cool" and relate to hip-hop culture, there are others which aren't that simple or ridiculous.

As for me, I can't say that I like the word. But I freely admit to speaking it. And I do say it fairly frequently. My reason for using the "n word" is the same as with a lot of other white people. Having spent most of my life around black people, I have been in the company of many blacks who make regular use of the word. This has been the case for as long as I can remember. My life has been heavily influenced by black culture/sub-cultures. When I say the "n word", my mind is in an entirely different place than what others might assume... It isn't a matter of, "Well, this is cool," "I wanna be down," "I wanna say it since you just said it," and so on... I'm not making a conscious decision to say the "n word". It's merely flowing out of my mouth just as do many other words that myself and others are in the habit of speaking. In this case, I am a product of my environment.

Yes, I'm aware that there are some impudent a*s white people who blurt "n word" or ask about it just for the sake of irritating people and pissing them off. But this doesn't apply to all of them. And why should it be assumed that it does? Firstly, to do so is to make race based generalizations. Isn't that what those of us who champion equal treatment want to avoid? Yes! Secondly, consider people like me- people who have been almost as (or just as) influenced by black culture/sub-cultures as black people- How can anyone demand that such people should live by cultural/societal rules and norms applied (or expected to be applied) to white society? Do you have any idea how much restraint one has to exercise in order to refrain from saying or doing something that has been taught to that person from day one?

Also consider one of the fundamental problems with applying certain rules to entire races of people: The problem being that, whether we like it or not it's quite often very difficult to determine someone's race via visual examination. There are more physical differences within the so-called races than there are between them. Someone might, for example, have all the characteristics commonly associated with white people, but one or both of his/her parents may have all of the features commonly associated with black people. Is it fair to apply "white rules" to this person? I think not. In my opinion, it's both ridiculous and unfair to apply any sort of race based rules to people.

On this site, I've read some people compare blacks using the "n word" to people calling their family members by certain names. Their logic is that, just as we may say things to our family members that we wouldn't want others to say to them, some black people say the "n word" but wouldn't want someone who isn't in the "family" to say it. I can certainly understand this logic, but I have to say that I respectfully disagree with it. I don't think it's reasonable to compare name-calling within families to saying the "n word" since the latter involves having race based expectations.

I've also heard the claim that some black people feel they've "taken back the n word." Again, I understand the logic. And, actually, this particular logic makes perfect sense to me. However, if someone who makes this claim allows the use of the "n word" to offend him/her then that person hasn't truly "taken it back". The reason being is because the very same logic behind "taking back the n word" dictates that the word no longer holds power over the individuals who claim to follow this logic. If the "n word" has power over you then you have failed to "take it back." It's that simple.

There's also the matter of claiming "n word" to be a term of endearment among black people. However, the meaning of a word doesn't change based upon skin complexion. (Ditto to what I said above regarding race based expectations.) This should be common sense and is evidenced by the fact that, as I said, there are white people who use the "n word" in the same contexts as black people who use the "n word". What's more, it is further evidenced by the fact that not all black people who use the "n word" are using it as a term of endearment.

Personally, I think the only way to resolve this issue is to stop making it an issue in the first place. We need to stop making assumptions and realize the following: 1) Not all black people say "n word" to each other or anyone else. 2) Of the black people who do say "n word", not all of them have an "across the board" expectation that no one other than black people say it. (Example: Just because you hear a black person say "n word" does NOT mean that he/she appreciates hearing it from every black person. For all you know, he/she may only view the use of the term as acceptable among family and/or friends.) 3) Not all white people who say "n word" are doing so to disrespect, to offend, to try to be "cool", or to play "if you can do it then so can I."

Other realizations that we need to come to are: 1) When in doubt, we should simply be respectful enough to not say "n word". 2) If we're offended by someone saying it, we should politely let that person know rather than "flying off the handle" like some crazy person. If that individual refuses to respect our wishes then we should, if possible, have nothing more to do with that person. If we cannot avoid the person then we should take appropriate action (such as filing a grievance at work, for example). 3) We're probably never going to collectively agree on this subject. We should just accept this and at least politely agree to disagree.


THUMBS DOWN: Do you REALLY disagree, or are you too lazy to READ? Just wondering.

Answer 2

To answer your first question its because of the younger generation. I live in rural Kansas and go to a community college with a small black population and they all call each other "my *****" and I think that this is very offensive but I can't say anything because I might be called racist. My godparents are black and they get very offended when they hear the younger generation using this term. And yes people make opinions based off of rap videos and music ... just like people make opinions on white people off of country music --- thats how stereotypes get fed so much.



BTW : You said something in a question you asked earlier I just wanted to comment on. I think you are very pretty --- its not the skin tone that causes beauty but the way people present themselves. (and this is what white people mean when they say things like "you are a pretty black girl" ... because a lot of black people just put their hair in one generic style and wear baggy unfitting clothing or clothing that is way too tight ... (well everyone does this) so when I see a girl who has their hair done nicely and they aren't over or under dressed I am like damn that girl is attractive (and that is extremely strange for me since I am gay). For instance I think you are pretty.

Answer 3

I don't know what percentage of my people do address each other in this fashion but I feel it too many.

It's unfortunates that my people who don't really understand what life was like before these human rights were finally obtained for Black people. These young people feel their words aren't damaging but I believe their words are insulting to so many people that suffered in ways the youth today will never understand because when young people look back at those days they see only history but for those who had to live through that horror it was terrible living every day not knowing if you would be lynched, murdered or whatever someone felt like doing to you without even the law to help you.

Answer 4

I think spidey raises a good point. I'll be the first to admit that I do somewhat offend the ones who do use the N word. I don't think the N word is appropriate, nor do I use it, and I also respect other people's opinions, but when it comes to Blacks and Whites talking about the N word they seem to always think we should be looking out for --their-- kids and I'm constantly saying that if Blacks stop using the "N" word, it will not be to appease them.

This is just my opinion. I don't want some --- person walking away thinking all Blacks think like me. It's bad enough they judge us from a freaking Tv show.

I also don't like how when Whites are giving their p.o.v about the N word, they ignore the method of why Blacks changed the word to a term of endearment. Obviously it worked because some Blacks say it to each other without getting offended. You guys know this, but it IS okay to have your opinions but don't sit there and act like you don't know.

Blacks and Whites stop sitting there acting like when Blacks call each other the N word they are actually saying, "stupid Black person". You know that crap isn't true. You KNOW Blacks changed the meaning of the word as a method of re-identifying.

Also, Blacks and Whites...please know that if Blacks stop the use of the N word that it will NOT keep other people from saying it. I'm sorry....if we had that much control there wouldn't race relation problems right now.

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Any person who judges a group of people because of something they see on Tv is a straight up dumb ***, and yes that includes believing everything the media or president says.

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Ps. - Whether you'd like to admit it or not, but Black Americans have formed a culture and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but YOU do not determine what is our culture especially when you are excluded on some things.

AND...one more thing. This whole issue about Whites not being able to say the N word is made up because they can say it and they do say it, but when they say it they need to realize it is ---their--- responsibility because not everyone uses that dang word. Geez...

Answer 5

A lot of black people DO call each other the N-word. In fact, there's some whites who call each other the N-word too. It's not race or color specific. It's a culture or subculture of people who use certain dialects, words, and phrases. The truth is you cannot rightfully claim that ALL people of any race have any particular thing in common. There's always variables. Even if you're looking at skin color. There are a few blacks with white skin, so you can't say that all blacks have dark skin. It's much safer to stick to saying "some" or "most".

But back to the topic of the N-word. Why is this a big deal? Many black people do use it in a nonracist way. Many people of various races and skin colors use it in a nonracist way. Why cater to the few people who do use it with racist intentions? Why give them the satisfaction of allowing the word to have so much power? It's just a word. It cannot cause any more harm or damage than you allow it too.

Answer 6

I m white and I don't think all blacks call each other the n - work. Personally I dont like to hear. I have hear some black men address each other like that. I think they are shallow. Oh and Why?? is so wrong in her answer. I wish the n-word never exsist. Its a hurtful word.

Answer 7

I don't listen to rap, but it isn't uncommon or even surprising to hear Blacks call one another that several times a day.
Whether it's a term of affection or an insult, I can't say.

Answer 8

I think it's interesting how all of you 'african americans' try to seem so intellectual (an act of contrived pomposity I suspect) and can't even communicate using correct English!

As far as the original question, it is a well known fact that not all Blacks communicate in the derrogitory fashion you describe. However, the media is full of and seems to embrace and promote this type. Since nobody protests this fact, (indeed, if they do they are considered racist if they are white and uncle toms if they are black and downright mean spirited and hurtful if they are of any other race) it is allowed to prevail and furthermore is touted by Black leaders as the only creative expression put forth by Blacks today. - Reverend Jesse Jackson said this, in case you're wondering.

Those who do not espouse the current offering and yet do nothing to offset the attitude are guilty of non-action and having made their bed must sleep in it.

Answer 9

lets see there rap music, movies then there the people who be trying to defend the reason why they use it and people get the thinking that all black people feel that way

Answer 10

I personally have never said that all blacks use the term, but i do think that a large amount do in everyday life, I go to a predominately black school and i constantly hear the word.

Answer 11

Because most people who have a very limited outlook on life will take whatever the media feeds them as the truth. Unfortunately, the media representation of blacks is quite one-dimensional.