I'm 17 I'll be 18 4/30 I want my 7 year old brother out of my parents custody I think it would be best for him

Question

I want to adopt my brother when i turn 18 and i think that he will be better off than growing up in such a broken household as it is I take care of him when i am there. My fatehr comes home drunk and my mother is a bit crazy stuff gets throws holes get put in the wall and i am stuck cleaning up the mess of it all,. Do you think that i should try and get custody in april or do you think that the courts would rule in my others favor?

Answer 1

Hon, I would first like to telll you how wonderful it is that your brother has such a caring, concerned sister. You are not just interested in your welfare and safety, but want to take on the responsibility of raising a 7-year-old when you are 18.

I support your decision 100%. It would be far better for your brother to be with you, than to be put into foster care. He wouldn't have to make a significant adjustment, and he would still be with a family member, versus being with total strangers. But court approval is another thing.

From the sound of things, it seems that you may been responsible for your brother for quite awhile already (beyond everyday sibling responsiblity). To make the leap from caring for him in your parent's home to providing for him on your own may not be that daunting, if you are already used to taking care of him.

You have the few months before your birthday to begin the steps you need to take to prove that you can be independently responsible for your brother (outside of your parent's home, their financial resources, and any other benefits provided).

You will need to demonstrate stability and responsibility. Income and a place of your own are the first things you will need to take care of.

If you are not working, get a job, even a part time one, and start socking away the money. If you don't have a bank account, you should get one, if not now, the moment you turn 18.

If you are concerned about having your savings around the house, put them into a money order or bank/cashier's check, and make them out to someone else (as if you are holding money for a friend). Because you purchased it, you will be able to take the momey order/bank check back and get your cash when you open your bank account. there may or may not be a nominal fee for this. Check with the location you go to, and ask about the return policy and fees.

My state helps adoptive parents in at least two ways: by providing income and medical assistance. You might want to do some research and see if your state helps adoptive parents in any way. Also find out how to avail yourself of whatever is out there. If you work full-time, check with your company's human resource department. many companie reimburse adoption expenses, or provide assistance in other ways. And I think that you get a tax credit when you file your return.

Start preparing now by listing the things you need to take care of and check them off as they are accomplished. Do a mock scenario of the things you will have to take care of later:
search the papers for an apartment, call the utility companies and find out what you need to get service in your name. If you are going to have a home phone, call the local provider to find out what you need to do for that, too. Repeat for cell phone (if you don't have one, and think you may need one), and for everything else.

Also, be prepared (and prepare your brother) for the things that you may have to do without for awhile, such as cable and internet services. If you do opt to have internet service, consider a voice over internet phone provider. It is very reasonablly priced.

Another thing: have you spoken to your brother? Will he be okay with this? Is it something he wants also? If he is looking forward to living with you, the adjustments that you two will have to make will be few.

How will this affect your life? Have you considered the ramifications of being the sole responsible person in your brother's life? Is there anything you might have to sacrifice to make this possible? Are you prepared to do that?

I think that the courts would rule in your favor. You have the advantage , as long as they consider you sufficiently responsible. (I keep using that word, responsibility, because that is the primary key to all of this.)

Try to find out what the court expects from an adoptive parent. Do some research online. This way you can be prepared when they check you out.

I will try to find out what my state expects in/from an adoptive parent. I will post in the comment section or email you, if you don't mind.

Feel free to email me with any questions you may have, or for encouragement, support, etc.

Hope I helped. God bless you.
I hope you are successful.

Answer 2

Sis,

I think you have a good idea, and I am really proud of your decision to make your brothers life better. The courts are going to give you a difficult time, but the end result may be worth it. I recommend going ahead with the idea, however, do this first:

1. Make sure you have a job that will allow you to support your brother.
2. Have a babysitter plan of action for times when you are not home. That way the court will see that you plan ahead and have a stable plan for taking care of your brother.
3. Enroll in online college or a local college so he won't be pulled out of the school he is in. If you get custody, he will have enough things to adjust to, and moving to a new school is going to be difficult.
4. Have a nice place to call home. A nice apartment will do fine.
5. Do you have any legal problems? If so, get them cleared or expunged.
6. Join a nice church where people will support your plan. See if the local minister would be a reference and support for you in the event you get custody.
7. Speak with your brothers guidance counselor at school and get support.
8. LAWYER UP! You will need an excellent family rights attorney.
9. Speak with your brother. Would he want this?
10. Document with pictures, hidden cameras, and dates and times all the disfunctional behavior. Nothing says disfunctional like a video of drunk dad or crazy mom.
11. Know that this may end your relationship with your parents. If you want to salvage it, maybe they can keep custody but you can serve as sitter- keep him as much as possible.

Your brother must be a really great kid for you to want this. I am really proud of you. Just follow the steps I gave you and this may work out - just think it through carefully, and talk to that lawyer.

Jay

Answer 3

If it's that bad that the 17 year old wants custody of the boy then you guys really need to get some help. I doubt that you have a place of your own and a good enough paying job to support your little bro, but if you do then I would go for it. If not then maybe there is a family friend or other trusted relative that you can stay with until you can get on your feet. I'm not sure that the courts will approve of a 18 year old taking care of her brother, but I would try calling local attorneys that have free consultations or contact the courthouse and I'm sure they can give you some suggestions.

Answer 4

I went through the same thing. Its difficult to take him from your parents custody. You have to prove them unfit, which is a rather arbitrary term. But be careful, if you prove them unfit, he is just as likely to go into foster care, especially since both your parents have to relinquish all custody to let you adopt him.

First, you need to get a stable, well paying job, preferably with healthcare benefits. You need to prove yourself mature enough to take care of him. Get a room ready for him. Get all the information youll need to take care of him (school transfer, budget, etc). You could also start a log of all the things your parents are doing that is not condusive for rearing a child, and show how it is affecting his schooling, mental state, etc.

When you have enough documentation, start the legal process. You can go to the library or get a free legal consultation to find out what the laws are in your state. Be aware of the court costs prior to filing. You dont want to stop the process half way through, so make sure you have the money plus a little extra up front. You could find a lawyer to handle the case for you. It will cost more, but youll have a better chance of getting your brother.

An alternative option:

Make informal arrangements with your parents to take care of him. When hes 16 (depending on the state) you can file for custody. It is much easier to get it if you can show that you've already been taking care of him.

Remember, there is a difference between custody and adoption. Find out what the legal meaning are and determine which would work best.

Answer 5

Honey it's not safe for either of you to be living in this situation. Contact your local teen hotline, womens battered shelter or child protective services.

Neither of you need to be in a physical nor emotional abuse situation. If your serious about custody, then get an adult to help you plan and execute a stable home. Is there a relative that both of you can live with while your finishing high school. Lots of kids have taken on the care of brothers/sisters younger than you. Just seek community support and good luck. Don't wait til 18... emancipate yourself and if you want college there is family housing on most campuses so don't stop dreaming. It can happen, good luck

Answer 6

If it's as bad as you are making it out to be, you need to tell an adult and go from there. Child Protective Services will get involved to investigate the household and if they see the children need to be removed then they will be and it's a possibility that you can legally adopt him when you are 18; however, you'll need to prove that you are financially stable enough to where you can care for yourself, pay rent, bills, etc or you will not get custody.
Make sure you take pictures of damages and keep a dated journal of what goes on each day.
Good luck to you!

Answer 7

Sounds like somebody needs to adopt both of you. If you brought this problem to light your brother could possibly get taken away from everyone and put into foster care. Do you think he would be better off? You better think a lot more about it before you just go on a crazy adoption spree!

Answer 8

of course! however the judge probably wont take you too serious and the reason for that is, the judge is gonna want you to go to college and in order to take care of some one else you will need money and a lot of it to support the two of you. i think you would be better off if you had a aunt or uncle grandmother who would get custody him and you just make a commitment to be there and help out

Answer 9

You should contact the children protective service and tell them everything that goes on and tell them to do a home visit. When they do a home visit and see how bad it is they will ask if a member of the family can take the child at that time you need to step in and take him and get a lawyer to go ahead to take the next step to adopt and to get your parents the help they need!

Answer 10

You have to prove to the court that the home is dangerous.

More importantly you need to prove you can actually care for him. (i.e. a roof over his head, food onteh table, get him to school) All vrey hard things to accomplish at 18 without a college education.

If you prove that his environment is dangerous, but the court does not think you can care for him. He will go to foster care, of the courts choice. This could be worse.