i have a friend that only 16 and she is 5 months pregnant and the baby daddy don't want anything to do with it

Question

he left town and he is my brothers best friend and now she is going to have the baby girl in march and she wont listen to me she keeps calling him and leaving mean messages on his phone he called me and told me what she has been doing and he wants to see the baby in the future but not right now but my friend don't want him anywhere near her baby what do i do to help both my friends and my soon to be god child to know her father

Answer 1

She needs to be concerned with herself and the baby for now. She is hurt by the way the baby's father has treated her, so the only way she has now to get back at him is phone calls. What you need to do is, make certain that nothing happens to the both of them until such time the father wants to support the baby. Your friend is hurt by all that has taken place and what she has to face in the future, you need to be her best buddy for now. She needs to get ready to bring the little baby into the world with the support from the people she has now, without talking or wasting time trying to get the father of the baby involved. After the baby is born and time goes by, he will want to see the baby and become involved, that's the time to list all the needs for him to be involved with his little girl. I don't know where your friend stands on education, but it would be the best thing she could do for herself and the baby by staying or going back to school to get an education in order to get a good job to support her daughter. There is one thing that young people (at your friend's age) don't understand when they are young and have sex, there aren't very many jobs to be found that pay a wage to support a baby and their needs.

Answer 2

Tell your brother to telll his "friend", that someday in the future, when he's old, sick and needing some love and/or help, his then grown-up baby will say "i wanted to see him in the past, but not right now".

But the only thing that you can directly do, is to be by your friend's side now when she needs you the most... and let her know that the last thing they need is another baby to take care of, and they'll both be fine, no matter what... that maybe someday she'll find someone much better that will love her and her baby as his own.

Answer 3

First off he has no right to the child because he is running from responsibility. I think the person you should be more concerned about is the mom to be. She is stressing her self right now when this should be a time when she should be having the support of the man who is suppose to be a father to his unborn child. The father of the unborn child should have thought about the effects of having unprotected sex. If he really wants to be in the child's life then he would be doing anything necessary to make the mom to be pregnancy as stress less as possible. If you want to help tell him be a father to his unborn child now not later.

Answer 4

First off maybe you shouldn't call him the baby daddy, He is the Baby's Father and has a name. Secondly, it's his choice weather he see' the baby or not. Thirdly he needs to be held responsible for his actions, weather he wants to be part of this childs life or not he is responsible and will have to help support it. Right now you should really be more concerned about the mother, she is the one that is taking the responsibility.

Answer 5

your "friend" is greiving. But if she keeps it up, she could make her situation rather worse by leaving him messages. Men just don't listen and it seems to be the typical of today - the men who don't "own their own crap".

As for the FOB (father of the baby) he's got a huge problem on his hands. He's a coward first of all. I don't blame the friend for feeling the way she does - I don't care what she might have done to make him not want her anymore. He's a kid as he should have used protection if he didnt want to get the girl pregnant in the first place. Jerk. You owe him NOTHING. And if you are his friend, you are supporting his BAD BEHAVIOR.

Your brother however, allow him to have his own opinion.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

Ok, this is going to come off as extremely brash, but what's the problem. It's going to be tough already being 16 years old. Have the drama for a man in her life right now can be very complicated especially during your teenage years. She can look at this as a negative thing or she can change her perspective. Us as humans, have the capability.

I understand that she wants the baby to know her father, but give it sometime. Men, regardless of being a teenager or not, sometimes run. Honestly, generally they do settle down and come back around. I'm 26 weeks pregnant right now and i'm 28 years old. My boyfriend kinda bolted. When he came back around it was like he was in denial or something. It took him up to this point to say the word, "baby" or even mention the child's name.

Yelling, screaming, and nagging isn't going to get him to straighten up any faster. My best advice to you would be to buck up and find what resources are available for you. Finish high school and being a single mom? OMG you can get grants to go to college and get childcare. You have to computer savvy... so get online... google some questions that you have and remember to use your WIC/Health care office. They have lots of information there as well.

Darlin, I wish you the best of luck. I love my babe's dad, but I'm not relying on him and I have no expectations of him. Having expectations sometimes get your hopes up and those hopes can be dashed. Think about the things that you can change about yourself, cause lord knows its next to impossible to change someone else.

Tell her to feel free to e-mail me if she likes.

Answer 7

You need to tell the boyfriend dont be a dead beat dad! Obviously he will not want to see the baby at all! And tell your friend not run after him. Its time to grow up, she has a child onthe way! If the dad wont be there, too bad! Take care of your child and be the best mom possible!

Answer 8

Well they both sound very immature. Her for leaving nasty messages, and him for having the audacity to say he doesn't want to be a father just yet, maybe later. The only thing you can do is be a friend to both of them and suggest some kind of counseling. Or at least have them sit down together with both sets of parents and discuss the wants and needs each person has.

Answer 9

nothing to your friend, but maybe talk to your brother about that fact that his friend cant expect to want to be in the childs life but not right now. She needs to go to court and get child support started asap, and let him make the decision on whether he wants visitation or not.. tell her to stop callin him it isnt worth it and to focus on her and her baby, be there for her daughter.

Answer 10

if he is going to be like that then he does not deserve to see this child, i mean she goes through the hard stuff while he is out having fun, nooo thats not how it works in all honesty a pregnant mother does not need the added stress of this, if i were you i would not do any relaying of messages, if you ignore the boy and do not have any contact with him where he can find out whats going on then he will have time to sit down and wonder whats going on you know and maybe he will come around and want to be there and he can talk to her not you! i wish your friend luck!! she needs your support and i would suggest them go to parenting couseling this will be great for him and if he is not willing to do this then his rights can and should be revoked!