Why are Americans whites so obsessed with wanting to say the 'N" word?

Question

Isn't there other things to worry about? In my country I am happy to be healthy and have something to eat. It makes me sad that you have all this time to obsess over an insult. It is also a little sick.

Answer 1

Some are and some are NOT. Being obsessed with wanting to say the ''n word'' is FAR from being the only ''n word'' issue.

I'll simply post my answer to other "n word" related questions....


It's silly and pointless that people argue about this- if for nothing else other than that there are so many issues of much greater importance (in my humble opinion). Of course, I'd be a hypocrite if I claimed to have never debated with anyone about the matter. (Although, I've only done so on line since I've never been confronted with it in any other forum- Black people where I live are generally not offended when white people use the "n word". The extent of my hearing about this issue has only involved the Internet and television.)

I grew up primarily around black people. Most of my friends were/are black. All of my romantic relationships have been with black males. And my husband is black. But, of course, I still had/have ties to white people. In my opinion, to a certain extent, this has put me in the position to see things from both "sides". So I truly do understand many of the points that a lot of black people make when they object to white people using the "n word". I just happen to disagree with them.

From my perspective, one of the problems with regards to using the "n word" is miscommunication. I think there are white people who assume that black people (or rather the black people who use the "n word") want to speak the word as a way of asserting dominance or control. And I think there are black people who assume that white people who speak the "n word" (or ask questions about it) are doing so because they feel some overwhelming need to say it (like how kids argue, "If you can do it, so can I.").

Well, the above does apply to SOME people. And there are probably people who have been told all sorts of things by others. And, as a result, they assume that everyone else is of the same opinions. This is where we're going wrong. We're getting our wires crossed and misunderstanding each other.

As a white person who has spent enough time around white people to know, I can attest to the fact that there are many white people who do say it in the same contexts as the black people who say it. No, they are not coming from the exact same place... But they do say it within the same contexts: making references to a brother, a friend, just another person, and so on... There are a few reasons for this. And while one of them (reasons) is a matter of trying to be "cool" and relate to hip-hop culture, there are others which aren't that simple or ridiculous.

As for me, I can't say that I like the word. But I freely admit to speaking it. And I do say it fairly frequently. My reason for using the "n word" is the same as with a lot of other white people. Having spent most of my life around black people, I have been in the company of many blacks who make regular use of the word. This has been the case for as long as I can remember. My life has been heavily influenced by black culture/sub-cultures. When I say the "n word", my mind is in an entirely different place than what others might assume... It isn't a matter of, "Well, this is cool," "I wanna be down," "I wanna say it since you just said it," and so on... I'm not making a conscious decision to say the "n word". It's merely flowing out of my mouth just as do many other words that myself and others are in the habit of speaking. In this case, I am a product of my environment.

Yes, I'm aware that there are some impudent a*s white people who blurt "n word" or ask about it just for the sake of irritating people and pissing them off. But this doesn't apply to all of them. And why should it be assumed that it does? Firstly, to do so is to make race based generalizations. Isn't that what those of us who champion equal treatment want to avoid? Yes! Secondly, consider people like me- people who have been almost as (or just as) influenced by black culture/sub-cultures as black people- How can anyone demand that such people should live by cultural/societal rules and norms applied (or expected to be applied) to white society? Do you have any idea how much restraint one has to exercise in order to refrain from saying or doing something that has been taught to that person from day one?

Also consider one of the fundamental problems with applying certain rules to entire races of people: The problem being that, whether we like it or not it's quite often very difficult to determine someone's race via visual examination. There are more physical differences within the so-called races than there are between them. Someone might, for example, have all the characteristics commonly associated with white people, but one or both of his/her parents may have all of the features commonly associated with black people. Is it fair to apply "white rules" to this person? I think not. In my opinion, it's both ridiculous and unfair to apply any sort of race based rules to people.

On this site, I've read some people compare blacks using the "n word" to people calling their family members by certain names. Their logic is that, just as we may say things to our family members that we wouldn't want others to say to them, some black people say the "n word" but wouldn't want someone who isn't in the "family" to say it. I can certainly understand this logic, but I have to say that I respectfully disagree with it. I don't think it's reasonable to compare name-calling within families to saying the "n word" since the latter involves having race based expectations.

I've also heard the claim that some black people feel they've "taken back the n word." Again, I understand the logic. And, actually, this particular logic makes perfect sense to me. However, if someone who makes this claim allows the use of the "n word" to offend him/her then that person hasn't truly "taken it back". The reason being is because the very same logic behind "taking back the n word" dictates that the word no longer holds power over the individuals who claim to follow this logic. If the "n word" has power over you then you have failed to "take it back." It's that simple.

There's also the matter of claiming "n word" to be a term of endearment among black people. However, the meaning of a word doesn't change based upon skin complexion. (Ditto to what I said above regarding race based expectations.) This should be common sense and is evidenced by the fact that, as I said, there are white people who use the "n word" in the same contexts as black people who use the "n word". What's more, it is further evidenced by the fact that not all black people who use the "n word" are using it as a term of endearment.

Personally, I think the only way to resolve this issue is to stop making it an issue in the first place. We need to stop making assumptions and realize the following: 1) Not all black people say "n word" to each other or anyone else. 2) Of the black people who do say "n word", not all of them have an "across the board" expectation that no one other than black people say it. (Example: Just because you hear a black person say "n word" does NOT mean that he/she appreciates hearing it from every black person. For all you know, he/she may only view the use of the term as acceptable among family and/or friends.) 3) Not all white people who say "n word" are doing so to disrespect, to offend, to try to be "cool", or to play "if you can do it then so can I."

Other realizations that we need to come to are: 1) When in doubt, we should simply be respectful enough to not say "n word". 2) If we're offended by someone saying it, we should politely let that person know rather than "flying off the handle" like some crazy person. If that individual refuses to respect our wishes then we should, if possible, have nothing more to do with that person. If we cannot avoid the person then we should take appropriate action (such as filing a grievance at work, for example). 3) We're probably never going to collectively agree on this subject. We should just accept this and at least politely agree to disagree.

Answer 2

Ancient history.
Whites in the US are not obsessed with useing this word. Most white people dont even think about it much less do it.
There is a tiny group of people who still use this word. They are out in Dixie county Florida. With them it's not an obsession but a habit- 'kinda like dipping snuff and not washing their hands before they eat.
We gladly give their jobs to anyone speaking spanish with very good manners. Manners- that is the bottom line.

Answer 3

There is a good reason we are careful NOT to say it to the point of obsession. I have not experienced anyone being obsessed with saying it in the past 15 years.

Answer 4

I don't know anyone that wants to say it. I think some white people are just surprised that some black people want to say, because it seems hypocritical - if it's a bad word, then NO ONE should use it; conversely, if some people can say it, then it shouldn't be considered a bad word and everyone should be allowed to use it.

Answer 5

I dont think it is really so many American whites...I think there just happen to be a couple here on yahoo answers who for some reason, badly want permission to call black people the N word.....yes it is sick and a little insane.

Answer 6

Uh that word is unnecessary no matter who's mouth it is coming out of. It sounds ridiculous...people are just asking to make them selves look stupid lol.

Answer 7

i'm a white canadian so i guess i'm left out of those little meetings. welcome to the wide world of "this is what happens when you have too much time on your hands" you wanna stop it? go find a threat everyone seems to unite when one of those pop up, trouble is they go right back to quibbling after

Answer 8

If Americans are "obsessed" with anything, it's freedom.

Answer 9

I don't understand it either! There is way more important things to worry about!

Answer 10

Not sure where you got that idea. I don't think I have ever said or wanted to say the "n" word.

Answer 11

I agree, too bad I as a black woman don't worry or care about them....