My husband & I separated last week. We have been have problems lately & it escalated into my husband moving out. It's not the first time we've been separated during our 13 yrs marriage. Previous times he refused to give me any financial support for our 3 kids until a court garnished his wages. He texts that he misses me(hasn't said he loves me). I dont know if i should give it some time, or I should just go file for child support so my children don't have to suffer. What is your opinion?
2007-11-15 02:11:12 · 8 answers · asked by kah35 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm also tired of going through this with him. My children(5,8 &11) are also my concern. I thought we had our marriage finally on right track until things changed again.
2007-11-15 02:15:24 · update #1
He is responsible for our children too. I know his history. I know what he will do. I love him, but I also love my children since he moved out my priority is making sure they are taken care of.
2007-11-15 02:21:11 · update #2
I was in your position with my last husband. I have been married twice, still am. You don't need to feel like you need to announce your actions to anyone. In other words, reacting quietly and effectively will ensure you achieve an equitable settlement.
By getting a knowledgeable attorney or Paralegal they will be able to get your papers processed before he knows what hit him.
You can immediate support until a court date can be reached and if he does refuse to pay, 'deadbeat dads' are no longer able to slip through the cracks for months or even weeks.
Every employer has to submit information to the state when it is requested. If the employer does not comply within, I think it is 7 days (maybe more, you can check it on line) THEY, the employer is liable. As soon as that information is received the employer MUST submit a certain dollar amount, deducted from his current check, immediately.
He will get angry most likely but, it takes less time than it used to get the ball rolling.
I used to be a HR chick.
2007-11-15 03:05:46 · answer #1 · answered by mary 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before filing officially, can you two try mediation? To save money and try to come to an agreement on things and leave the child support calculations to your state. Try and work out a fair visitation plan and financial plan. Because once you go to court, the planning of your future or of your kids future, is now resting in the hands of a judge. A judge who knows nothing about your kids, nothing about your situation, and nothing about you two as parents other than what each of you say about the other. I’d say to at least TRY mediation and see what happens. If it doesn’t work and you are making zero progress in the first 30 mins, then walk out and you can file with the courts. At least you can say you tried to work it out amicably.
And in defense of your husband, the courts don’t rule all that fairly towards men and if he pays without a court order, they could STILL go back and charge him back support even if he gave you money. My husband did this to his ex, he paid her for 2 yrs non court ordered, and it was a gift. And they did get us for back support for 2 yrs prior. So in his mini-defense, he might be making a smart decision. But, maybe you should consult with an attorney before assuming that just to be sure. Every state has different laws and they each treat divorce differently.
I’m sure your husband does miss you. I mean, you two were married for a long time and are used to one another. It’s his comfort zone. He misses his kids and I’m sure it’s all new for him, just like it’s new and awkward to you too! Just please, throughout all this chaos, please keep your kids in mind. Try not to badmouth in front of them, try to keep this as normal a life as possible. Including their father if that’s what they’re used to. Kids are absolutely innocent through this…..just try and keep it that way! Good luck!
2007-11-15 02:35:48 · answer #2 · answered by Momto2inFL 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for legal seperation and Child support NOW. Be done with all this Drama, your kids don't need this..Neither do you.
2007-11-15 02:26:08 · answer #3 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File right now. By the time it gets ordered, you will be eating cat food.
Be done with him.
2007-11-15 02:42:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for support immediatley!
2007-11-15 02:15:37 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs.G-unit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now, it takes time to get all the paper work rolling.
2007-11-15 02:16:57 · answer #6 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You write that he has not mentioned that he loves you. How much to you love him if the first thing you are thinking about is how to get in to his wallet?
2007-11-15 02:16:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
even nevertheless you're married in undemanding regulation, you will could desire to bypass to court docket to receive newborn help. in case you compromise directly to divorce, you will could desire to bypass to court docket merely as in case you have been married in a civil or non secular ceremony.
2016-10-02 10:17:44 · answer #8 · answered by westrich 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋