Hypothetical NHL Question........?

Question

I am going to have a terribly busy day at work today, so I am going to ask an extremely silly question, to give me something to laugh before I leave work tonight.

If you were a current player in the NHL, and you had a superpower, that was better than anyone in the history of the NHL (yet your other skills were average), what would that superpower be?

Example:
>Having the ability to skate faster than anyone else in the league
>Having the ability to skate the most accurate in the league
>Having the ability to shoot the most accurately in the league
>Having the fastest slapshot in the league
>Being able to read other players/coaches minds
>Being able to skate backwards, faster than you can skate forwards
>Or come up with your own

I was not going to come back on here today, but I couldn't help myself. I said, "to make me laugh" people. Komisarak is da man and Vinny have been the only ones to make me chuckle. (Komisarak is da man, btw, I am giving a forever acronym, because your name is too lengthy to type in every time. You will now be KIDM to me)

Answer 1

Realistic skill: having the most accurate wrist shot in the entire league (near 100% success rate)

Goofy skill: The ability to read minds (although this skill would be useless against Sean Avery, Chris Neil, Bryan McCabe, and any other brainess oaf that takes up roster space)!

Answer 2

Well, based on the hockey news player surveys, Edmonton is the least popular place among free agents, and Calgary is 4th worst.......mainly because of the weather, but also due to lack of 'fun' Edmonton and Calgary are both in the bottom 5 in metropolitan area. Ottawa ranks only slightly higher (24th least favourite place to sign) for similar reasons. Taxes are another....Alberta still trails any American state. Where would I sign? Chicago can't afford me. Montreal only plays Europeans and Americans these days. I guess I would call Jimmy D and beg for a job. Least consideration? Edmonton. Coldest city in North American professional sports, currently the smallest city in the NHL in metropolitan area (not far behind Ottawa.,....but enough), and the team has poor management. Pisani has not had many kind words about Ouilers management....and Ryan Smyth has had similar sentiments since he left. I've never much liked the city to begin with

Answer 3

As is the case with most 16" elfs, I am blessed with blinding speed. Not much for talent or technique, though, so I end up taking a lot of tripping penalties. While this may not help the team win many games, it gives me great personal satisfaction to run up into the stands and romance the hell out of the ref's wife and be back in the box before the pucks bounces a second time.
Yup, speed brings good things to life. (er, something like that)

Answer 4

Hypothetically, my superpower would be the ability to leave my body and POSSESS another players or the ref's body. In possessing the ref, I could make any call I want. In possessing a player, I could pretty much make them do whatever I want them to do - example: I could possess Sid the Kid and make him sit down on the ice and cry like a baby (or throw a temper tantrum)....wait, has he already done that on his own?

In retrospect from the last Leafs game (vs. Montreal) I would have possessed McCabe and faked an injury or illness - just so he would be out of the game!

Answer 5

To sing as bad as Roseanne Barr. The screeching would cause everybody else to drop their sticks, gloves, and helmets and cover their ears. Then I could skate unmolested and slam the puck into an empty net.

Or be like Neo from the Matrix and dive into another player's body and make them explode just as he was coming in on a breakaway.

Answer 6

I'd want to shoot most accurately.

In fact Haley, I am not kidding about this, but I am (or was at one time) able to skate faster going backwards than I could going forward.

A funny superpower would be to be able to hit referees and linesmen with a puck whenever I need to clear it out of my zone and look like it wasn't intentional.

Answer 7

To have an exoskeleton like a cement pillar. Even if Zdeno Chara or Chris Schlonger skated at me full speed, it would be the equivalent to skating into a cement wall. That would also allow me to put insane crushing hits on anyone. All hits would be legal, because I'd inflict major damage just by bumping into them. I'd also pick fights with brute's, and just let them punch me in the face until they broke their hand, then I'd pimp slap them and break their jaw. Humiliation!

Answer 8

Hypnosis...Mr. Bettman, look into my eyesss. You are getting sleeeeepy, verrrrry sleeeeepy. You are going to educate yourself about hockeyyyyy and hockey fannnnsss and hockey playerssss. You are going to realize that shootouts and 3-point games are laaaaaaame. You are going to stop expanding souuuuth and put more teams in Canadaaaa where they might actually turn a profittttt. *snaps fingers* Oh, Mr. Bettman, are you all right?! You passed out there for a minute! Why yes, I do know a bunch of people who can educate you about hockey! What a lovely idea! :-D

Answer 9

What exactly do you mean by "skate the most accurate in the league?"

If I had a super power it would be to have the flexability of Stretch Armsrtong, so I'd probably be a goalie.

Answer 10

I'd have the ability to trans-locate instantaneously to any spot I chose. That way I could be on the ice one second giving us the man advantage, steal the puck, knock a guy on his butt, trip the goalie and then be back on the bench before the officials could count up 6 skaters.