My sister has known this man for over 2 years & they dated, broke up, & now are back together. It's a long distance relationship & the guy doesn't even talk about marriage after that proposal on the phone. When my sister asks about the marriage, he brushes her off. I don't think he wants to commit to her. She's told friends that she got engaged & when they ask to see her ring, there is none. I can see her embarrassment when they see she has no ring, but I know her well enough to know that she is torn. I think he just wants someone there for him all the time. It seems like a one-sided relationship...my heart just breaks for her, but I can only do so much. Now she is trying to marry him during her college break. He said ok, finally, but they got into a huge argument. He hasn't called her for over a week. Is it over?
2007-11-15 01:37:38 · 26 answers · asked by Katie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Even if it's not over, it should be. Why would she settle for a man who will not even put any effort into a proposal?? It is absolutely a one-sided relationship and it is easy for it to be because it is long distance. I've known men like this and I would lay money he has someone where he lives. Sorry! Love her and tell her she deserves a man who will propose properly and who will make her feel wonderful, not full of doubt and questions!
How a guy proposes tells you everything about who he is. A man who know what he wants in life, who knows how to make a committment and love someone makes the engagement as special as he can. What kind of man would propose in such a way that his gf would not be sure they are really engaged?? Really, it's just ridiculous, isn't it?
2007-11-15 01:58:08 · answer #1 · answered by xxxxxxxxx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationship are difficult. I'm assuming here because I've personally never been in one. Your sister's situation is the reason why.
There's nothing wrong with having arguments in a relationship... it happens. No relationship is 100% perfect. Could it be that he just can't afford a ring for her at the moment? I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet.
If she's serious about wanting to spend the rest of her life with him, she should make every effort possible to go and see him during her/his break. That way they can talk face-to-face and work this problem out. It's hard to talk over the phone.... especially about something this serious.
Good luck to her!
2007-11-15 01:43:28 · answer #2 · answered by ♪♫ ßr0wn Eyǝd G!rl ツ ♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is a painful ordeal. But from what I can see whether it's over or not your sister can and should do much better. If he can't afford the ring or something of that nature he should tell her. But he has no right to promise such a thing and then turn around and say no or nothing at all! Sit down with your sister and have the longest talk you can have possible. Point out anything and everything that can prove to her that she can do better.
2007-11-15 01:41:45 · answer #3 · answered by Lillianessa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is more in love with the idea of being married than she is to this guy, or else she would have blown him off a long time ago. It is time she accepts this for what it is and call it quits. He doesn't want to be married to her. I don't know why he proposed, over the phone no less, but he doesn't want to be bothered, and she wants so badly to be a wife, she is ignoring all the signs.
She shouldn't have to get him to agree. This is something the two of them should be excited for.
2007-11-15 01:43:42 · answer #4 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, PROPAOSAL ON THE PHONE?!?!?!
seccond, he brushes her of all the time?!!?!
there together for so long and he doesn't even know hes doing something wron, or he does on purpose..
and after a huge argument he doesn't want to talk...
if you can, and if you will show this comment to her..
go look for someone that does appreciate you!!
you don't deserve crap like that.
(this is going awfull lot into my comments) love is LOVE, REAL love. compasion, attention, honesty, trueth and so on...
he broke about everything... your just hoping he isnt betraying you, your hoping nothing changed and everything is alright.
that isn't the way you treat someone you love and your ready to marry, doen't matter how retarded you are...
and im sorry if i offended you by this but.. that's not right
2007-11-15 02:04:46 · answer #5 · answered by peter54354 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He didn't want to marry her, he just thought he could keep her around longer if he said that. My ex proposed to me once too, and nothing ever came of it. Like it's a joke or something. I guess he realized she was serious about it and ran for it. I'm sorry, it's over. But in the long run it's better, no one deserves that for a husband.
2007-11-15 01:41:44 · answer #6 · answered by Incredible 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that the relationship is not over but the engagement is he really does not want to get married he just want some one there if she does marry him it will not last and will fall back two steps and would try again which would hurt her more then him so i say engagement over but not the love. i see here blind in the eyes of love could she find someone close to her ? he just likes her to fill in a whole in his heart e-mail me nickwg2002@yahoo.com for more thoughts
2007-11-15 01:48:28 · answer #7 · answered by Nick w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bottome line is this-no ring? no date? no marriage! This man is not going to commit to her ever, and your sister needs to figure this out on her own, when you start trying to get into her head and start giving her advise it only causes her more confusion, so let her be the one to deal with her own issues, its sad, and Im sure very embarrassing for her, but she brought it on herself, she set the stage up and the fantasy up in her own mind by convincing herself that this man wanted to marry her, when in fact he never did, nor never will, he merely wants a bed buddie,everytime she sleeps with him It makes her fantasy about marriage even stronger, she may be getting love and sex mixed up, so I recomend she stops puttin out as this only causes her more confusion. In regards to if its over or not? well its your sisters call, sure he will come around again when he wants sex for free, and till your sisters sees this guy for what he really is, you are wasting your time, this is her problem to figure out, so if she falls and gets hurt, then so be it, all you can do is be their for her, dont give her advise or try to be her therapist, just be her sister, love her support her and be their but dont add to her confusion.
2007-11-15 02:22:09 · answer #8 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was never worth it to start. I would dump him and move on and if either of the two parties are serious about marriage they might want to think about plans to be closer together before marriage. Re-read your own question you know what the right thing to do is.
2007-11-15 01:40:52 · answer #9 · answered by myraxellenxamos 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why doesnt she call him and discuss it? i know how it is cause i've been in this situation my LD bf asked me but i didnt get a ring so i took at is a joke and since then we've talked about marriage and stuff but never like when we'll get engaged..if it bugs her that much maybe she should move on
2007-11-15 01:43:49 · answer #10 · answered by Rayray 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋