After separating, I was the first to call my husband and decide to make a truce and find out exactly whether or not we were going to fight for our marriage. The thing is he still calls me babe and is very attentive when I am around him, but he does not take the initiative to call me at all. I do all the calling. Why is he acting like this?
2007-11-15 01:05:42 · 11 answers · asked by stella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he needs time to figure things out, give him some time, don't try to figure him out, that's his job. take advantage of the separation and try to figure your own self out. stop bugging him. be separated, it means to take time away from the marriage, to consider things, not to work things out
after you've been separated for a while you'll be able to decide together when it's time to work on the marriage, but not now
h's attentive because that's who he is and the reason you love him, but don't think that it necessarily means anything more at this point
2007-11-15 01:12:42 · answer #1 · answered by Liteson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After a while a spouse is able to read you like a book and knows what buttoms to push in order to get you to do what he wants from you. The affectional word "babe" is a way he knows touches your heart. But with him withholding himself from taking the initiative to call you is a way for him to gain control over winning on what caused the separation. He wants you to be submissive. This is not a way to settle conflict in a marriage. This is called manipulation. What you need to do is take his "actions" as face value and not read into his words too much for now. Tell him, "I am willing for us to work at the marriage & to be able to express to you how I am sorry for anything I have done to disrespect you and am also needing to hear the same from you. Your lack of taking any initive leaves me no other alternitive but to accept you are not willing to do so. So I will no longer call you so that I will not interfere with your wish to move on". Then you do exactly that, do not call him or see him. If you do, he will play a game of cat and mouse with you and keep you lingering on a string. Marriage is a serious commitment that should not be taken lightly. He either is upfront with you or he is not, show him that his evasive attitude is something you will not tolerate. In time, when he sees he is not able to manipulate you he will begin to regain some respect for you and his marriage, and will be forced to face the issues at hand and if he really so desires to save his marriage he will take a positive step towards doing so. This is hard to do, but vital in bringing his attention back towards his commitment to his marriage with you. If not, by you continueing to call him and see him will open the door of temptation to have his cake and to eat it too.
2007-11-15 09:40:05 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My plumber calls me babe when he comes over to repair things, and is very attentive. He does not call afterwards. Get my point, your husband is only for the moment. U need to talk with him, see if he wants the relationship and if not moe on.
Perhaps he calls you babe , so he won't use the wrong name... has anyone thought about that!
Nina
www.loving.mydatesites.com
2007-11-15 09:47:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you guys need to have a good old chat and try and work things out before its to late. if you do all the calling then phone him up and organise a meeting and just lay everything on the table. you will probably be surprised he will open up to you and hopefully you both can patch things up. best of luck.
2007-11-15 09:11:07 · answer #4 · answered by Blondie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's attentive at all that's a plus...Men are not people that makes a lot of phone calls.
2007-11-15 09:08:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how long have you been married during this did he talk on the phone and think about this he knows you probally as well as you know yourself. if you are getting frustrated try to stay away from the phone put the ball into his court and tell him your tired of doing the work if he doesnt jump for you then find one who will.
2007-11-15 09:19:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If everything else says he wants to get back then don't get hung up on this small detail. If he has several signd like this there may be more going on with him.
2007-11-15 09:11:56 · answer #7 · answered by joe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he seems disinterested , i agree with you to fight for a marriage ,, maybe he be seeing another woman ? a man if he loves awoman should make contact with her and not just her with him. mj
2007-11-15 09:11:44 · answer #8 · answered by mjbrightergem33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They R da type of ppl who wont call anybody TRUST<--
2007-11-15 09:10:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stella he still wants to be with you.
2007-11-15 09:41:19 · answer #10 · answered by LivingMyLife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋