midwife no good or is it just me???

Question

hi im 37+ weeks pregnant and looking through this site most people no how far dilated they are at this stage my midwife doesnt seem to check this are there anything i should ask her differently to do as she seems to just answer questions she wants to answer and im so uncomfortable now.

just so you know aswell i was pregnat last year but baby had severe spina bifida so i gave birth at 7 1/2 month baby died.

Answer 1

It also depends where you are in the world. If you are in the USA they get checked internally a lot. If you are in the UK then it's not routine to get checked at all until you go to hospital. If you are concerned about it, ask your midwife to check you at your next appointment, or make a separate appointment with a doctor to discuss your concerns.

Make a list of questions for your midwife and that will help you to make sure she answers them all. Again, if you are not happy with the answers, ask to see a different midwife or your doctor. Most midwifes work as teams, so it should be no problem to switch.

Answer 2

Every doctor/midwife is different. I have always been checked around 36 weeks. I never found it painful, either. It is possible to check yourself for dilation or have your partner check, but I don't recommend it unless you know what you are doing. As far as avoiding some of your questions, if you are not happy with the answers she gives you, ask again. Part of her job as a midwife is to calm your fears and keep you informed. Good Luck, not too much longer...

P.S. I agree 100% with Crystal, when I was in labor with my second baby, the nurse checked me and I was 6cms, 20 minutes later I felt the need to push and she brushed me off apparently because there was a shift change, because my new nurse came in, and I told her I really felt like pushing, she said thats not possible, they just checked you half an hour ago. I insisted, and when she checked, she could see the baby crowning. She had to call in two interns to deliver the baby, and my doc barely made it in time (luckily her office was only a block from the hospital) My doc was MAD at the nursing staff for not listening to me!!!

Answer 3

They wont check you unless you ask them. Midwives operate under the conviction that your body does what its supposed to and is best left to its own, unless you're showing signs of complications.

My midwife wouldnt check me until after 37 weeks (unless i was convinced something was wrong) and even then she would only check me if i begged her to so I would know.

She should answer any questions she can when you ask her, what do you mean she's not answering them? She ignores the questions or you ask her four at a time and she forgets to answer some of them?

Everyone is uncomfortable and miserable at this stage of pregnancy, but it will be over soon. You need to tell her what you want and expect from her, and then go from there. Next time, get a doctor, they operate assuming your body will fail at whats its doing and its best to be hands on at every step of the way.

its two different schools of thought. I dont think a midwife is a good choice for you in this situation.

Answer 4

Dont stress over it, mine didnt check me until I was overdue. BUT, once your in labor make sure they check you. When I went to the hopital to be induced I told the nurse I was in alot of pain and asked if they would check me. They said nothing was going on with the monitor and I was just nervous. Well, the nurse must have put the monitor on wrong because I started crying and MADE the nurse check me, I was 8cm . The baby was born 1hr later, naturally. I dont want to scare you, I just want you to know that even though they say everything is ok, sometimes you have to insist on some requests....good luck girl!

Answer 5

Im sorry for your loss!

No, midwives tend to not do any internal checking until you start having labor pains.

It doesnt matter if you are dilated or effaced if you arent having labor pains, so there is no need to possibly introduce bacteria with an internal exam.

You can ask her if she'll do an exam, but she may tell you she would prefer not to.

Answer 6

No it doesnt mean she is no good. It actually means she is BETTER, IMO. There is no need for cervical checks until labor has begun to progress. How far dilated a woman is means absolutely nothing as to when she will deliver. Nor does babys station or cervical effacement.

Answer 7

The only time i was checked with all 3 pregnancy's was when i was in labour. With the last one they checked me when i got to hospital, i was 3cm then 4 hours later i felt ready to push asked if it was OK to push and my midwife said to just do what my body was telling me, it knew what it was doing! 20 Min's later had a healthy baby girl.
Try not to worry about that side of things!

If she is not answering your questions, keep asking them and don't leave till she does, its her job to answer any questions you have.

Answer 8

No...it's fine. Some docs/midwives check the cervix early on...but a lot don't, and that's OK.

If you are low risk, there's no need to at this point.

I've only ever been checked for dilation right at 40 weeks. No worries.

Answer 9

If you had a previous stillborn I am shocked that you wouldn't see an OB/GYN for this pregnancy. Midwives are absolutely not qualified for frequent complications and often times the OB/GYN has to take over. Time is crucial and in unfortunate cases too late.

Answer 10

I wasn't checked until 37-38 weeks. It was painful...that's why they don't want to be checking you very much. Sometimes just looking at your abdomen/baby's placement in your body is enough to know how you are doing.