How can a 65 year old man still have a mother complex?

Question

My husband is 65, his mother eventually died last year. She was held up as some kind of domestic ideal, I can't think why, she was a slovenly old bat.

But now that she's gone, my aged husband wants me to be more like her. Much more like her: he wants me to revert to her type.

He was an only child, but that still doesn't excuse or solve the situation. She didn't even seem to like him all that much, which is why I wonder: why he is obsessing about her and trying to resurrect her?

I am 58. I have my own business that I am very mellow with. I do not want this persona thrust on me.

Answer 1

If he was an only child I'm sure this has all been hard on him and he does need the grieving process. What you are describing is more than that. Get him some help see if that wont help him get thru this phase. IF not and you cant deal with it and him any longer then it may be time for you to get away from him. NO one has the right to try to or make someone change in the manner he is wanting from you... i really think that is way to much. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Hi tell your husband that you are sorry that his mother has departed him.Let him know how he is acting.Tell him that you are his WIFE and not the mother.If things do not change his attitude then I would really act like his mother and then that would mean no sex or anything for him,If he does not like it hit the highway because he will never let go of his mother even though she has gone.All the best and be firm to him.

Answer 3

Tell him that you are not, nor have you ever been his mother. Tell him that you don't appreciate him trying to make you into something that you are not. Tell him that you are sorry that he lost his mother, but that he will have to deal with it like a man, and hold her memories close to his heart.

Answer 4

quite right be yourself and tell him straight !!

Shes gone -im not her- I am me -if you dont like it sod off !!