Please help?

Question

I am feeling very sad and pretty low about my ex-boyfriend (relationship of 3 years, both in our late twenties). He broke up with me a few months ago but the break up was pretty hard. He didn't want to let go, he felt always very upset if I told him I should stop all contact with him as it was the only choice for me of how to deal with this. I really loved him and I still do very much. I miss him terribly. I saw him about a month ago, he came to visit me and when he was leaving I was distraught. I felt pain in my stomach as I knew once he leaves, we are not in a relationship anyway and I could not deal with this situation, I told him that we need to go our separate ways. He said he will respect it. And I haven't heard from him since. He used to fight for me, for us to stay in contact but now he is silent. I keep thinking of him, I miss him and I am not interested in anyone else. I worry he met someone else and forgot all about me. Please help me? What should I do?

I did not break up with him. He broke up with me. I wanted to intiate no contact with him as I did not see how else to get over him as he decided he no longer wanted to continue our relationship

Answer 1

You need to occupy yourself until you feel strong enough to date others. It is hard, but you will get through it, I promise. Just remember that you can not make someone you love, love you back. Sometimes love is just not enough. Take care, and good luck in your future. Hope you find a man worthy of all the love you can give!!!

Answer 2

You need to remind yourself why the two of you broke up in the first place. You broke up because something was WRONG. You miss what was familiar. Give yourself six months to get over this. In that time try to spend 4 hours a week on a new hobby. What did you used to do when you were 20? Or what have you always wanted to try? Try to find a new interest that involves other people. I'm not talking about finding a new boyfriend. I'm just saying that you need to be around other people right now.

Answer 3

So sorry for being rude or blunt! But why are you worried about this poor man now.....why don't you just let him heal and get you out of his heart the reason he doesn't fight anymorefor you or argue with you or beg, or even call...and stays silent as you say, is because he has finally opened his eyes to the game playing person you are and thank God for him opening his eyes people like you shouldn't even be out in the dating world especially seeking a relationship my God let him be and go on with his life.......You are really a confused individual...you want him when he no longer wants you and if you were to get him back you would tire of him and dump him again and again and again....let him be weirdo...in other words you are one of those messed up people who only wants what they cant have or whatever is a challenge....then when you conquer this whatever it may be than you tire of it and dump it. Man that is just so wrong and I think that before you even consider even getting near another person you should seek serious counseling you are a dangerous person as far as seeking relationships with anyone and should do some growing up as far as my opinion goes p.s. don't get involved with anyone unless you plan on making your promises to that other person hold true if you want no more than a booty call than have the cajones to say so.......I say that the truth always does everybody the best...and no-one gets hurt that way...try it maybe you'll have better luck.....good luck...Angel

Answer 4

This is difficult but you really need to let him GO!!! he broke up w/ you. It's only going to mess up your mind continuing to think about him. It's over! you will indeed find someone else! I know because I was in a relationship as well for and it was for 6 yrs and then he decided he wanted the break. So hard it was but then I found my man that I've been w/ for over three yrs and very happy. Time is a GREAT healer!!! Just move on sweetie. You'll get over it. Believe me.

Answer 5

You are in the denial/bargaining stage of the grieving process. Look it up, i bet you have most of the symptoms listed. Lack of sleep, no appetite, obsessively going over the thought again and again, etc..

I answered the same question from you a couple of hours ago. Sweetie, be kind to yourself, give yourself permission to feel these terrible feelings, and you'll soon feel better, I promise. Please look up 'grief and loss' on the net, it will help you with some more advice on why you feel so shitty at the moment. There are happy times ahead, I promise.

Be kind to yourself, mate, good luck

Answer 6

I think he let his head speak for him, instead of his heart. Otherwise he wouldn't have tried to come around and see you. You made it clear to him that it would be best to go your own separate ways. Now that he granted it, you are hurting. 1st of all you both need to start thinking with your heart. If there was no abuse or cheating involved, you could have worked it out. Provided that you don't or didn't sleep with him while you all are broken up. Write him a letter. Tell him your thoughts and do not beg him back into your life. Just let the letter speak for itself.

Answer 7

As he broke up with you, he might have already had an other relationship. Be strong and try to occupy yourself. Time is healing anything. Keep yourself busy and go out with your friends. You don't have to date any body if you are not ready, but have some diversion and let loose of your ex-boyfriend. Stay strong..................

Answer 8

Three year relationship, why didn't you get married? Why did he break up with you?
If you want to talk to him; use the telephone. Call him and set up a time to talk in person, honestly and openly.

Answer 9

You said he used to fight for you, maybe he wanted to see if you would fight for him to, and that it wasnt 1 sided. Sounds to like lack of communication. Get to it and if you love him you should tell him.

Answer 10

Why did you break up with him if you love him and he loves you??