pregnancy advice needed please :)?

Question

i am a 19 year old girl and i just found out a few days ago that i am pregnant, i have been with my boyfriend for over 4 months now, and we have been talking for a long while about having a baby, as we both feel that we are ready to settle down and start a family.
theres just one thing i cant tell my parents, i dont know how, i feel that they will be dissappointed in me.
help!
x

Answer 1

If you are ready to start a family, and adult enough to care for a child you should be adult enough to go to your parents and tell them what is going on. It can be hard, I rememebr when I told me mom the first time I was pregnant at 17, but the longer you wait the more it will seem like a betrayal. They will be more upset at the fact that you kept it from them, then the fact that you are pregnant. No one likes to look like a fool.

Answer 2

You think telling your parents is hard, wait until you have to give birth to and care for an infant and growing child for the rest of your life.

I too fell pregnant at 19 (had her at 20) and I waited a week till my partner, now husband, and I had time to digest the information and decide on a few important things before we told my parents. My mother actually said, "well we've been expecting this for a while now so congrats and when's it due". she already had 5 grandchildren so it wasn't too big a shock for her. But still I was nervous as hell and it took me that whole week to phone her with the news. And then I realised there was absolutely nothing they could do about it and I had stressed myself stupid over it.

Just tell your parents, they might be disappointed but at the end of the day you say to them "this is my situation and I will take responsibility for it but I wanted you to know so I could hopefully have your support to guide me along the way."
Don't go rushing out and marrying this boyfriend either, you really have no idea if you are going to make a good couple long term until you have lived and breathed each other under the same roof for a while. Have the baby, enjoy life and take every opportunity you can to educate yourself so you can get a good job to provide for your family should the need arise. Hope fully you already have a good job.

Best of luck and don't stress about it, just tell them. Do it casually and without the boyfriend around first.

Answer 3

Hi I think you know that you've got to tell your parents. They might be shocked, upset, angry and a lot mroe things, but after they have come round to the idea I am sure they will be very supportive.
Tell them that you and your boyfriend have been talking about it and are really happy that you are pregnant. I assume that your boyfriend is going to be supportive. If your parents see that you are both happy then it will help them to feel happy about it. They maybe disappointed in you at first and they may worry that you are going to miss out on lots of things being so young, however it is your life. Say you want the baby and you would really love to have their love and support.

I was 21 when I had my 1st and I was married and I dont feel like I have missed out. In fact I am glad I was young because when my daughter is 18 I will only be 39!
My parents were young when they had me and now they enjoy being young grandparents!!

Good Luck, it may be a rough ride at first but just think, you will have your baby at the end of it!

Answer 4

I was with my husband 10 months when I found out I was pregnant with my first. I was 21 hubby 20

Same as you we was worried about telling our parents and did after the 3 months stage

Mine were fine, his not so

Though now you would never think that, they idolise him and I am sure yours will

We are still together 11 years later with an additional one we have proved to every one that though we were young we could make something of us and have a stable family.

It is best to get it out now and enjoy your pregnancy than keep worring and put pressure on you and the baby.


You will be fine I am sure

Hope all goes well

XXX

Answer 5

At 19 your an adult, But do you REALLY think your ready to give your single life up?

When I was 19 I was travelling and working for a great company, taking business trips and enjoying my weekends with my mates.

REALLY think about it. What savings do you have? Can you afford your mortgage when you have to leave work? Are you intending to go back to work?

Sorry to sound negative but 4 months is not very long to be with somone, why the rush to have babies??? I was with my partner for 5 years before we felt responsible and together enough to start a family. We owned our own home and had good savings too.

Children are not expensive. But the lifestyle you will have to lead is! You have to either give up work and drop your salary from the total income. or return to work, leaving your baby with strangers in childcare and pay most of your wages for the care!

Why do you want a child at 19?? Why with this person?

Can he support you both? What does he earn? Whats he like with kids? Is he one for drinking? Does he still want the same things you do? Is he willing at 19 to miss lads holidays and weekends and parties and stay at home and care for a baby? Can you??

Answer 6

I know its hard, me and my partner are together 4 years now at the end of Nov and i always said that id love him to be the daddy of my children...i found out i was pregnant in may....i was excited,nervous,afraid.....all in the one! telling my parents was the hardest thing i ever had to do.......but it was the before hand that was really hard, the waiting the not knowing what to say.....my best advice would be to take either your mum/dad to one side and tell them then either ask them to tell the other or go the two of you together and tell them.....my mum was a bit upset never really said anything just that they would stand by me no matter what!!! Dad said that he loved me and that he will always be there!!(im the only girl in my house so it meant alot)

I hope that your parents can accept you and your baby as mine did.....it is hard work being pregnant very enjoyful but very hard work....you will be moody, maybe sick...a variety of different things you will NEED support make sure that your partner is there for you.....

Let me know how you get on. if you need to chat then just mail me xxx

Answer 7

You are old enough to start a family so although they may be disappointed, your not breaking any laws. Just explain to them that you have thought it through and it is something that you really want. I'm sure they will come round but you should be prepared for a bad reaction at first. Once they see how well you cope and handle the pregnancy they will be supportive.

Answer 8

when i fell pregnant for the first time age 26 i was living at my parents home as i had split with my ex a few years before, id only been with my new partner about a year but we did not think we could have kids (he was also livin with my parents).

i just found a day about 5 days after we found out we was having a baby waited till they had both had there dinner after work then me and my partner said we have to talk to u about something n we just told them, i expected them to be mad with me but they were over the moon n it was a weight off my mind n i did not have to worry about telling them then.

a lot of parents will act differently than what u expect them to, but its better to tell them n soon as you could be worrying about them finding out and that will cause stress to you and your baby and may make you both ill, even if they dont seem to like the idea to begin with they will come round to the fact that there gonna be grandparents before u have the baby trust me.


oh and CONGRATULATIONS xx

Answer 9

I can tell you that you could be worrying too much. I'm 21, 35 weeks along now, and when I told my mother, I was shocked to discover that she didn't react at all like I thought she would. She wasn't angry. I mean, at first, she kind of freaked out, but in a week, everything was okay. She has always been pretty strict, too. So go ahead and tell them... they may surprise you.

Answer 10

Well you are 19 years old so they shouldn't be dissappointed in you.I don't know if you and your boyfriend are getting married or not but if you are then tell them that and maybe they won't be so upset about it.Hope this helps =)