I was rapped one year, four months, and twelve days ago by my ex-boyfriend. Two weeks later I moved out, while he was at work with the help of my best friend. She is the only person who knows I was rapped. 3wks l8r I failed the pregnancy test. I had an abortion. I am less ashamed of the abortion than the rape. I needed help. My new roommate was an old friend and so I explained my situation. He asked one Q;R U sure? He went w/me to the clinic, drove me home, and held me when I cried. I fell hard for him in a short time. We've been dating 4 three months. We love each other. How can I tell him what I should have told him in the beginning? I am afraid of what he will do. He knew my X. I don't want to lose him. I don't think I will, but he knows something happened. I just can't bring myself to say it. I feel like I've been lying to him. I love him more than air. How do I explain why I didn't tell him in the beginning and why it has taken me so long now?
2007-11-12 19:23:20 · 8 answers · asked by Maynerd 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The reason that you did not tell him in the beginning is because it is not easy to tell someone that you were raped and had an abortion. Just tell him that and that it is hard for you to talk about. You could also tell him that you were afraid of how he was going to take it. This really is not something that you tell someone up front. You have to make sure that there is a relationship there before you bare your soul of your darkest secrets. You have done nothing wrong. He should understand this. Do not be ashamed of the rape. It is not your fault and there is nothing that you could have done. I also would have had an abortion had I been in your shoes. Do not be ashamed of that either. I hope this has helped and I am sorry that you had to go through this. Good luck with the new boyfriend.
2007-11-12 19:58:22 · answer #1 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men are sympathetic about such situations. If he were like me, if would go beat up the guy that raped you. Imo, that's perfectly fine. You should talk to your new guy about it. Then you should consider about going to the police about it, because there is a chance that your ex will do it again to another person.
Rape is a serious crime. Some view it in the same regards as murdering someone. It's not something that should go unpunished.
I would be careful though. You never know what might not be happening. :(
And lastly, I'm sorry for what happened to you. Some men are the worst, and while some might be better, it's not very hard for them to fall.
2007-11-12 19:29:59 · answer #2 · answered by Adam S. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems obvious to me that you have guilt and feel "dirty" because you were raped. It's pretty common from what I understand. Get some counseling because getting raped is not your fault in any way shape or form nor does it make you dirty.
Sharing this burden with a professional is your best solution as it would help you heal from this horrible act more readily than telling your new bf will.
If this new guy does love you as you say he does, telling him about it will only serve to burden him and cause him pain neither of which will do either of you any real good.
2007-11-12 20:31:08 · answer #3 · answered by Ta Dah! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He obviously loves you very much as well! I suggest you sit down and explain in your own words! He will understand your feelings! He will not think that you lied, he will just be upset that you had to keep this awful thing to yourself and that he wasnt there completely when it happened! He will understand why you didnt tell him to begin with! Its a huge thing to go through and any human would understand your actions!
Good Luck!
2007-11-12 19:29:39 · answer #4 · answered by emzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly at the same time as it changed into accomplished, i ought to sodomize their mom with a jagged brick, then kick whoever this loved human being is of their neck, and lead them to tell me what it changed into for. If it changed into something below getting both one human beings $10m, i ought to kick them contained in the neck again, then pull a pulp fiction on their *** at the same time as i ought to have sufficient money a gun or a sword from chinatown. as in accordance on your second question, do you extremely imagine that if there's a god, he has time to be worrying about any human beings in my opinion? have you ever examine nighttime through Elie Wiesel? about 1/2 way via, he addresses this question. God has no longer something to do with what assholes settle on to do. there's no god both. If there changed into, he died on the hands of the favorite age.
2016-10-24 03:41:12 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Open this window of your question, sit that man in front of the screen and tell him to read :)
2007-11-12 19:27:27 · answer #6 · answered by Zenithia Victora 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear abt ur plight. i would be confused to if i were u, if u didnt tell. he would think u were easy once, if u did tell he may ......?
Well it's best to find out dont u think and take it from there. seriously i'm sorry to hear abt ur plight once again. i hope brighter days follow ur way.
2007-11-13 03:14:23 · answer #7 · answered by ryhasin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just like you did here it'll be fine
2007-11-12 19:28:09 · answer #8 · answered by xxhale69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋